Whether you are living with a narcissist, friends with someone who is narcissistic, or going on a date with someone you believe may have narcissistic tendencies, you may notice that those who are more narcissistic tend to stare at others more than most.
If you feel stared at by anyone, it can quickly cause you to feel uneasy and uncomfortable. If a narcissist is staring at you, you may also be wondering what it is that they want or need.
When a narcissist stares at someone else, they may be attempting to get the individual’s attention, or they may be plotting something.
It is best to always keep a close eye on individuals that you deem narcissistic, especially if you catch them staring at you or they are making you uncomfortable.
A narcissistic person is an individual who is typically focused on themselves, whether they are seeking pleasure in life, are extremely career-oriented, or come off as arrogant and selfish.
An individual who struggles with the actual condition of narcissism, also known as NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, may be entirely oblivious to their own personality and behaviors.
A narcissistic person will rarely put others above themselves and their own wants and needs, even including their own spouses and children.
When dealing with a narcissist, you may find that they are extremely proud of themselves and confident in who they are, at least on the surface and in how they present themselves in front of others.
Defining a narcissist is not always easy, although there are some relatively common characteristics and personality traits that are more likely to be prominent than others.
Some of the most common traits and behaviors to look for if you are trying to determine if an individual is a narcissist include:
- The inability to empathize with others
- The inability or unwillingness to sympathize with others
- Focusing on themselves more than others
- Finding it difficult to talk about others and instead, often redirecting conversations to focus on themselves
- He/she feels frustrated when they are not the center of attention or when they are unable to get a word in during a conversation with others.
- Cutting others off and ignoring them in order to talk about themselves
- Rarely, if ever, finding fault in their own actions and behaviors.
If you notice that an individual who is a narcissist or showcases narcissistic behavior is looking at you or staring, you may be wondering why.
Knowing why a narcissist is staring at you is not always possible without asking them directly.
When you want to know why a narcissist is staring at you, it is important to consider the context of the situation and the type of environment you are in.
If you believe a narcissist is staring at you, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I know this individual? Have I met this person before? Is this somewhere I usually am where this person may recognize me?
- Am I positive that this person is staring at me? Who else they might be looking at? Am I sure they are not just staring off somewhere else or into the distance with something else on their mind?
- How does the staring make me feel? Should I go elsewhere and remove myself from the situation to make myself feel better, or approach him/her to ask them directly why they are staring at me?
While it is not always easy to tell why a narcissist may be staring at you, there are a few reasons to consider and keep in mind, such as:
- He/she is staring at you to get your attention. A narcissist may do this to another individual even if they do not know them personally.
- They know you and are trying to get your attention. Maybe you dated in the past or maybe you have not seen one another in years. A narcissist understands the power of direct eye contact.
- They want to talk to you or get to know you. Because eye contact is one of the most effective and efficient methods of communication across all age ranges, generations, and cultures, it is a useful tool for a narcissist to captivate their audience and capture the attention of another.
- He or she is flirting with you or attempting to get your attention with a gaze that may, instead, come across as a stare, especially if you are not interested in reciprocating the feelings.
- They are angry and want you to know it. Staring can be a direct taunt, especially when one individual is angry or upset with another. If you believe a narcissist is staring at you because they are angry, you may need to directly confront the situation or remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
If you believe you are being stared at by a narcissist, the entire prospect has likely caused you to feel extremely uncomfortable.
If you want to know why a narcissist is staring at you, it is important to consider the context of the situation, the environment you are in, and whether or not you already have an established connection or relationship with the person staring at you.
Once you are well aware of the situation you are in, you can begin to gauge the body language of the man or woman who is staring at you, especially if they are not directly next to you.
Spend time gauging the body language of the individual who is staring at you to pick up clues as to whether or not they are angry with you or simply attempting to send another signal in your direction.
No one should have to put up with feeling uncomfortable around another due to being stared at and/or taunted.
If you are feeling uncomfortable around a narcissist who will not stop staring at you, you have the option to directly confront them or to remove yourself from the situation.
If you are in a public location where others are around, your best bet may be to remove yourself from the situation immediately and to seek assistance from a professional who is in charge of the location you are at.
Seeking assistance from security, a guard, or even a manager can help you to remove the individual who is staring at you and making you uncomfortable.
You also have the option to directly confront the individual who is staring at you and attempting to get your attention by walking up to them and asking them what it is that they want from you or how you can help them.
Depending on the environment you are in and your own comfort level, you can choose a tone that will help you to maintain your confidence as you confront the individual who is staring at you so directly.
How can I let a narcissist know that I am not interested and that they are incapable of manipulating me?
Narcissists are not always aware of their own manipulative powers and abilities, so it can be difficult to tell that you are not interested in them and their ways, especially if they are in denial of them.
When you are uninterested in a narcissist who is staring at you, attempting to get your attention, or trying to lure you away from friends and family you may be spending time with, your best course of action is to be as direct as possible.
Because many narcissistic personalities will be relentless in their pursuit of getting the attention of another individual, it is best to confront a narcissist directly to avoid dragging out the situation while allowing yourself to move on.
It is not always advisable to confront a staring narcissist in public, especially if the individual staring at you is a male and you are a female who is alone.
If you are in public with other friends and supportive figures around you, it is possible to confront a narcissist who is staring at you without putting yourself in harm’s way or putting your safety at risk.
When you choose to confront a narcissist who is staring at you, do so where you feel comfortable and supported.
You should also only do so in a public place, especially if you do not know the individual who is staring at you and harassing you.
If the individual does not stop staring at you or does not respect your boundaries, you also have the option to call the police to file a report on the person.
Once you make your way over to the individual who is staring at you, you may be wondering what to do next, especially if you have never found yourself in a position like this.
A few things you may want to consider saying or asking when confronting a staring narcissist might include:
- Why are you staring at me?
- Is there something I can help you with?
- I am sorry to bother you, but I have noticed you looking in my direction for quite some time. Can I help you with something?
- Pardon me, do we know one another? I noticed you looking at me for some time and I can’t place your face.
- Is there a reason you are staring at me?
- Your staring is making me uncomfortable, and I ask that you stop immediately.
- Can you please look in another direction? I am trying to enjoy my time here with my family/friends.
Remember, if you feel threatened by an individual who will not respect your boundaries, will not stop staring, or who has begun to follow you, it is best to contact your local police department immediately to file a report.
Dealing with a narcissist is not always easy, especially if the narcissist in your life has no respect for you or the boundaries you have set in place.
When you know how to spot and identify a narcissist, you can take preventative measures to steer clear of them, especially when you are out in public or vulnerable around them.
The more comfortable you are with spotting a narcissist, the less likely you are to feel victimized and vulnerable whenever one attempts to stare at you or manipulate you in any way, shape, or form.