Having a sexual kink is incredibly common and not rare or taboo, contrary to popular belief in some circles.
If you believe you have a mommy kink, or enjoy being taken care of by your partner, you might be wondering why.
A mommy kink can stem from the desire to be loved and nurtured, and it can also be a reflection of a relationship you have with the mother figures in your own life.
Understanding what a mommy kink is and how it is more common than you think can help you to better navigate your own sexual preferences and predilections without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
A mommy kink can vary in its intensity, similarly to sexual preferences and types of fantasies individuals have.
While one person may find it extremely sexy to be taken care of by a motherly figure, others may have other underlying feelings or emotions related to their own mothers and motherly figures in their lives.
In one scenario, your partner may assume the role of taking care of you.
Similar to a “daddy kink,” mommy kinks typically involve one partner helping to guide, coach, or teach the other as part of the sexual appeal.
In another scenario, an individual may prefer to find a motherly partner who is willing to love and cherish them unconditionally, even when they “misbehave” or act up.
Because mommy kinks vary just like any other kink, it is important to explore them at your own pace if you believe you are attracted to the idea of a motherly type of partner.
The types of activities that you or your partner are interested in when it comes to a mommy kink will also vary, just as the preferences for the fantasy and kink itself will.
Some common activities that are prevalent among those who share a mommy kink include:
- Loving one’s partner unconditionally
- Helping to guide a partner, teach them, and treat them similarly to a motherly figure
- Caressing one’s hair and body
- Kissing one’s forehead
- Nurturing one’s partner in a time of need or when sad, down, or upset
In the sexual context, it is not uncommon for a male partner to desire his female partner to assume the role of his “mommy,” similar to “daddy” kink enthusiasts.
However, while in a daddy kink, the submissive typically requires guidance, punishment, and direction, the mommy kink is more often thought of as kind, nurturing, and welcoming.
For those exploring a mommy kink for the first time or with others, there are many different ways to test the water to determine what is right for you.
From pretending to breastfeed to being bathed and put to bed by your partner, there are many ways of expressing this kink, both inside and outside of the bedroom.
Sexual preferences and predilections vary so greatly it is difficult to tell what someone is interested in by just having one conversation or asking a simple question.
If you are unfamiliar with your own sexual preferences or if you are interested in exploring potential fantasies and kinks, you should first familiarize yourself with the basic definition of a mommy kink.
Determining whether or not your interest in the mommy kink is sexual or something else entirely is also a very important part of the process of better understanding yourself as well as your own sexual wants and desires.
Consider why you gravitate towards the mommy kink. Ask yourself the following questions if you are new to the idea of the mommy kink or kinks in general:
- How did I come to discover or learn about mommy kinks?
- Are my feelings about mommy kinks positive or negative?
- When I think of a mommy kink, am I aroused, or am I seeking attention, validation, and unconditional love instead (or a combination of both)?
- Is there a reason I may gravitate toward the mommy kink? Do I have issues with my own mother or the motherly figure I have had throughout my life?
- Do I feel ashamed or embarrassed when I think about having a mommy kink? If so, why is that? How can I remove feelings of shame while accepting my own sexuality and sexual kinks?
Most kinks are extremely common and not as taboo or unheard of as you may think, even if they are rarely discussed in public or in mainstream entertainment.
In most instances, having a mommy kink is natural and healthy, and can simply be a way to express and vent various emotions, feelings, and experiences.
As with many kinks, having a mommy kink is no different.
If you are not harming others and your kink is not interfering with your life or your work and relationships, it is not typically bad for you.
If you feel as though you have a mommy kink due to underlying issues you have with your own mother, often referred to as “mommy issues,” you may attempt to remedy them by addressing them head-on.
Allowing yourself to express your feelings of potential repression can go a long way when working through your sexual identity as well as your own sexual predilections and preferences in the bedroom.
If you have a mommy kink and you want to share your fantasies with your partner, it is important to do so only when you are in a safe, communicative, and healthy relationship.
Establishing boundaries and feeling comfortable with discussing sexual preferences is necessary when sharing fantasies and taboos, especially when it comes to kinks that may not be as popular or as mainstream as others.
Once you make the decision to talk to your partner about your mommy kink and you feel comfortable and safe doing so, be sure to do so in a private setting and one in which your partner is also comfortable.
Discuss your mommy kink openly and without judging your partner’s immediate response, especially if they are unfamiliar with the kink or if they find it taboo before learning more about it.
Allow your partner the ability to express themselves regarding their own feelings and personal interest in the kink (and whether or not it is something they are interested in participating in with you).
You can also ask your partner to ask you any questions they may have regarding the kink if they are curious about learning more or exploring the kink themselves.
It is important to remember that not everyone has the same sexual preferences or kink interests and to not be offended if your partner is not interested in indulging in a mommy kink immediately.
In some cases, a partner may never feel quite interested in a mommy or daddy kink if they are simply not wired in that manner.
When you decide to discuss sexual taboos and kinks with your partner, always ensure you are doing so in an environment that is open-minded and welcoming of new ideas.
If your partner is more conservative or disinterested in kinks and taboos, they may not be the partner to explore your mommy kink with, depending on the strength of your relationship.
If exploring your mommy kink is a priority for you or if it is something deeply personal and important, you will want to find a partner who is open-minded and accepting of your desires.
Knowing if your partner is open to talking about your mommy kink (or any kink/taboo for that matter) will depend on your partner’s individual personality.
To tell if your partner is willing to discuss kinks and taboos in the bedroom, ask yourself the following questions:
- How open-minded is my partner when it comes to sex? Are they interested in trying new things and exploring out-of-the-box fantasies together?
- Is my partner open-minded about taboos and kinks? What kinks does my partner have that I am aware of or enjoy as well?
- How often do I have sex with my partner? Is my partner’s sex drive compatible with mine, especially as it pertains to kinks such as a mommy kink?
- Will my partner feel as if my mommy kink is normal, or will they feel uncomfortable with the prospect of portraying a motherly figure to me, even if it is in a non-sexual setting?
- How can I help to make my partner more comfortable with the conversations surrounding our sex life as well as our own sexual preferences, fantasies, and personal kinks?
- How important is my mommy kink, and is it a simple fantasy or something I wish to pursue as an everyday part of my life? How might this impact my partner and how can I expect them to first respond?
In any relationship, partners will find various topics and issues that they disagree on, and sex and sexual kinks are no different.
If your partner does not accept your mommy kink or is unwilling to incorporate your mommy kink into the bedroom and into both of your lives, you may need to rethink your priorities and what is most important to you.
If you do find that your mommy kink is more of a lifestyle than it is a simple fantasy, you may need to seek out a partner who is more sexually aligned and compatible with you.
However, if your mommy kink is a singular fantasy that you can take or leave, you can compromise with your current partner to meet each other halfway, especially when it comes to kinks and sexual fantasies in the bedroom.
The most important element of any relationship is communication.
Without the ability to communicate your wants and needs, even if your partner cannot or will not reciprocate, you may quickly feel suffocated and unfulfilled.
A partner who is willing to discuss your wants, needs, and desires will more than likely try to engage in various kinks and activities to help bring the two of you even closer to one another.
Exploring kinks, fantasies, and various taboos inside and out of the bedroom is the best way to get to know more about your own body as well as your sexual preferences and desires.
When you are comfortable with your own sexual fantasies as well as kinks such as having a mommy kink, you will feel confident moving forward with a partner who is sexually compatible with you and accepting of your needs.