When we think of harmony, many things come to mind. From a beautiful, harmonized singing group like ABBA, to the harmony between human beings and nature, even the harmony within oneself. Harmony reflects peace and tranquility.
The definition of harmony in music means musical notes and melodies coming together to create a beautiful piece of sound and art. However, we can still apply this definition to a harmonious relationship. A harmonious relationship is one that is able to reflect balance, beauty like that in music, tranquility, and all the elements of a perfect relationship.
By perfect, we don’t mean 100 percent perfect, because of course, no relationship is ever that! But, with a harmonious relationship, you can get as close as possible to perfection, gain a sense of peace and balance in your relationship, and work together as a unit. Below are some of the things we like to consider part of a harmonious relationship and skills you should strive to develop with your partner.
Include these elements in your relationship and you’re bound to have the harmony you need to live a blissful life with your partner!
Of all the elements in a harmonious relationship, having a great and balanced sex life is perhaps the most important! Sex is much more than an act of pleasure. Sex allows two people to connect with each other in a way that is deeper than any other relationship will ever be. Though there are many relationships to be had in this life, the one between two romantic partners is really only alive when intimacy is involved.
Also, remember that sex and intimacy don’t have to be one and the same. There are many ways you and your partner can enjoy each other intimately, including:
- Holding hands
- Touching skin
Similar to sex or other forms of intimacy, you and your partner should make sure the other is feeling satisfied with the amount of intimacy in the relationship. Although there is no rule about how often you should be having sex, discussing whether your partner is feeling abandoned or in need of more (or less) intimacy can help you achieve a harmonious relationship. Don’t let your partner feel as though their needs aren’t being met.
In order for a relationship to be harmonious, both partners must be vulnerable and communicate well with each other. Being able to express the other’s true feelings without the fear of rejection is incredibly important, especially if one or both of you is in need of healing. Being vulnerable allows you not just to have a better sex life with your partner, but also to be able to connect with them and increase communication in a healthy and non-judgmental way.
You should be able to communicate with your partner explain your feelings to them in a peaceful manner. Being able to express yourself without the need to yell, curse, or belittle your partner is not only good for your relationship but also good for yourself. Even if you feel anger or resentment towards your partner, a harmonious relationship is one in which you can still control your emotions and express those feelings in a mature way.
Although you can’t read each other’s minds, after some time with your partner you should be able to pick up on cues from your partner. For instance, if your partner doesn’t like having attention put on them but you take them to meet your family and put them in the spotlight, this is a pretty good clue that the relationship won’t last long. You have to be able to know what your partner wants if they have expressed their wishes previously. More importantly, you should respect the decisions your partner has made in regard to their emotional well-being in order to create a harmonious relationship.
If you don’t know what the other person wants, it’s important to be able to communicate not just your desire, but your feelings with them. Not being able to express emotions and feelings with your partner leads to resentment, anger, hostility, and overall, a relationship that is doomed to fail (quite the opposite of harmonious!). You can prevent this by giving space to your partner to vent their feelings and frustrations and expect the same treatment from them.
A harmonious relationship strikes a balance and allows you two to enjoy each other with peace and calm. It’s not fair to ask your partner to spend excessive amounts of time with you that they simply don’t have, or just the same, to ignore your partner when you really do have the time and energy to spend. Work with each other’s schedules to see how you fit in your partner’s life.
And while spending time together is great, so is taking time away from each other. Not only does this allow you time to reflect, but it also allows you and your partner to be independent and appreciate the time you do spend together. Knowing when to take time away promotes healthy boundaries, which is another crucial element of a harmonious relationship.
When you spend time together with your partner, is it simply running errands or going to a cafe? What about visiting a restaurant together? Although these things can be a great way to spend time together, try vacationing with your partner to get away from the stress of daily life. A harmonious relationship is one in which you can not only enjoy the little things in life with your partner but also adventure with them. Consider traveling, even if it’s just to another state, and expose yourselves to new cultures and experiences!
Do you and your partner enjoy the same music? Did you know that a survey showed that most couples prefer that their partner have the same music tastes as them? Being able to enjoy the same music and vibe together is much more than an enjoyable activity, it allows you to enjoy the same art form and be able to know the other’s feelings. Music can trigger a number of emotions, from happiness to excitement, love, you name it.
Living together is a big step in a relationship, and it’s not something that happens overnight. If you want to take the next step with your partner and have a harmonious relationship, you will eventually have to learn to cohabitate with each other. Cohabitation has its many benefits, like splitting bills and rent. However, it can be difficult for some partners to be able to take this step, and if you and your partner can’t seem to make it work living together, this might signal trouble. Fortunately, learning to be patient with your partner and making it work is a great step in the right direction.
If you and your boyfriend have different spending habits, this can quickly threaten the harmony (and financial stability) of a relationship. Whether you are both frugal or know how to work hard and party hard, it’s important to have a dialogue about how to spend money. This is especially important if you and your partner are engaged or married. A survey done by TD Ameritrade showed that 41% of divorced younger adults and 29% of older couples ended their marriage due to fights about money! Although money isn’t everything, it does play a big role in a harmonious relationship.
Do you ever look at your partner and think, “I’m so lucky to have them?” Appreciation and gratitude are easy to bypass, but a lack of them can lead to a relationship that doesn’t feel peaceful and harmonious. A harmonious relationship is one in which your partner and you can easily express your appreciation for one another. Whether that’s taking each other out on dates, doing acts of service, or even giving heartfelt small tokens of love like flowers and cards – all of these contribute to a harmonious relationship.
You’re the free-roaming social butterfly, and your partner loves to stay home binge-watching their favorite TV shows. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things! However, controlling your partner and different aspects of their lives is wrong. Whether that’s the number of nights they go out and what time they should be back, what they can or can’t wear, even where that can and can’t work. Although there are healthy boundaries to be had in a relationship, there is a difference between having boundaries and being controlling. Knowing the difference is key to having a harmonious relationship. Hint: if your partner tells you you’re being controlling, it might be a sign you need to re-evaluate your boundaries!
No one in this world is perfect, meaning you and your partner will at one point have to face the music and apologize for your actions. You played a role in an affair, made cruel comments, or even just made your partner feel unappreciated – there are many things that warrant an apology in a relationship. The secret to a harmonious one is being able to accept that you (or your partner) were wrong and having the maturity to fix it by apologizing.
Not being able to cook a steak properly, always being in a rush or always being late, being grumpy when things don’t go your way…all of these things might seem like flaws, however, a harmonious relationship allows you and your partner to accept each other in spite of your flaws! Although it sounds impossible, especially if your partner has a habit that irritates you, you’ll find that accepting each other’s flaws brings a new level of peace and harmony to the relationship.
When balancing work, school, and family it can be difficult to find time to prioritize your partner. Although we’ve talked about spending time and giving each other space on this list, prioritizing is different. Prioritizing your partner in regard to your life decisions is something that might be difficult to do at first but is essential if you want to build a life with them. For instance, if your partner wants to stay in their community but you get a job offer 4 hours away, will you prioritize your partner or your career? Difficult situations will arise, and people in harmonious relationships will be able to prioritize their partner so they can make the relationship work.
Setting boundaries is one of the most crucial aspects of any relationship. You can set boundaries with your pets, family members, teachers, friends, and of course, your partner. As we mentioned above, there’s a difference between being controlling and setting boundaries. Some boundaries are healthy, such as not popping up unannounced at your partner’s apartment (and vice versa)! Others, like demanding your partner spend time away from their family during the holidays to be with you, might need a little more consideration. Nevertheless, in a harmonious relationship, both you and your partner will be able to have boundaries that support the health of the relationship.
Speaking of families, at some point you will have to introduce your partner to yours. At your wedding, birthdays, and other get-togethers, you and your partner will eventually be seen as one unit! This can be exciting, but it can also be a deal-breaker if one partner just can’t seem to get along with the other’s family. If there is tension for whatever reason between your family and your partner, it’s important to try to mend these relationships early on. Doing so can be a great source of relief for your relationship.
You should be able to help your partner with their life decisions, their decisions about work, school, living environment, and so on. Although you can’t make decisions for your partner, offering advice and supporting your partner can make a world of difference when it comes to having a harmonious relationship. Having a partner you can depend on is the definition of being in balance and in harmony.
If you find yourself having trouble expressing yourself to your partner in a way that is productive, or are always feeling anger toward your partner, or even trying to forgive them for infidelity, you must realize that none of these are easy tasks. You and your partner might be trying desperately to fix your relationship, and in the process destroy its existing harmony. Being able to acknowledge that you two need professional help is a sign of maturity and a sign that you two are willing to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship alive!