Most mothers absolutely adore their children and would do anything within their power to ensure their happiness, safety, and comfort, and show them they are loved.
Unfortunately, not all mothers are this way, and in fact, some are the exact opposite.
A majority of these mothers have a narcissistic personality disorder, if not some other mental illness or a substance abuse problem.
What are the characteristics of a narcissistic mother, you may wonder? A narcissistic mother lacks the capacity to love anyone, even her own children.
She is angry the majority of the time, depressed, and irritated, and she is unable to be a “real” mother to her children and give them what they need to thrive.
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The Probability of Children of Narcissistic Mothers Becoming Narcissists Themselves
Being raised in a household with a narcissistic parent or parents is very toxic for a child, and it significantly increases their chances of being narcissistic in the future.
However, some children are able to grow up and move away while remaining relatively unscathed.
Yet, even if a person who was raised by a narcissistic parent appears to be unaffected by their childhood, it is very likely that there are some residual effects.
These effects may manifest as some type of mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, or the person could be extremely needy and paranoid when they are in romantic relationships.
Adult children of narcissists are often unable to have healthy relationships because they’ve never been taught how to have a healthy romantic relationship.
The children who do become narcissists are destined to be just like their parents, unhappy and unfilled, and unable to love.
Children Can Grow to Despise Their Narcissistic Parents
When children of narcissists are very young, they likely love and worship their parents, like all young and impressionable children do.
Even though every child of narcissists likely knows that there’s something wrong with their parents, they’re not sure what it is or what to do about it.
However, once they become teenagers and then adults, some do hate their parents.
They hate their narcissistic parents because even though they may have always ensured that there was food on the table, a roof over their heads, and clothes on their backs, they were never able to provide the nurturing, love, and affection that children truly need to survive.
The children may have been verbally and emotionally abused for their inability to live up to their parents’ unrealistic and unachievable expectations.
Some adult children of narcissists are so fed up with their parents’ behavior that they even cut off all ties with their parents.
Others hate the way their parents are, but they struggle to remain “close” to them, even throughout adulthood.
There Are No “Good” Narcissist Parents
There are always exceptions in just about every situation, but the words “narcissist” and “good parent” are unable to go in the same sentence together.
Narcissists are truly unable to bond with others, and they certainly can’t show love or empathy.
Being a good parent entails more than just providing for a child financially. Children need so much more in order to grow up to be their absolute best.
Actions for a Teen to Take Upon Realizing Their Mother is a Narcissist
Again, all young children love and worship their mothers even though they might be aware that something isn’t quite right with them.
By the time a child reaches adolescence, they’re capable of conducting research and possibly learning that their mother has a serious mental illness that makes it impossible to love or have empathy for her children.
A teen that learns such information might feel like running away, especially if they are an only child.
However, instead of running away, which could be quite dangerous, a teen who learns that their mom is a narcissist can seek out therapy to learn new ways of coping with her behavior until they are old enough to legally move out.
The teen can refrain from allowing their mother to emotionally manipulate them any longer, and they can bide their time until they can leave for college or simply move out.
Some teens can’t wait to get away from their narcissistic parents, and many opt to stay in dormitories just so they can escape the daily madness that they must deal with when living with their mothers.
The Reason Narcissists Have Children
Not many narcissists plan to have children, and often a pregnancy simply “happens,” and the parents decide to move forward with the pregnancy.
Narcissists often marry other narcissists, as well.
It’s not very likely for a person without narcissism to marry a person with the condition because it’s nearly impossible to sustain a relationship long enough to even think about getting married.
Two narcissists, however, can survive for years in a farce of a marriage, pretending to be a normal, loving family when they both completely lack the ability to love each other or their children.
Removing Children from a Narcissistic Parent Household
Many narcissistic parents are able to “pretend” to be decent enough parents so that their children are never taken by the state in which they live.
However, some narcissistic parents are worse than others, and alcohol and drugs could even play a role in their neglect of their children.
Even though it may be traumatic for the children at first, removing them from such a toxic household could actually be a good thing, especially if they go live with loving extended family members.
Actions to Take if You Suspect You’re a Narcissist
If you suspect that you’ve developed a narcissistic personality disorder as a result of your mother, then you need to refrain from panicking.
First of all, you don’t know for sure, and second, there is help available.
If you seriously suspect that you are a full-blown narcissist or that you have many narcissistic tendencies, then you should seek professional mental health treatment.
After undergoing your initial assessment, a licensed therapist should be able to diagnose you, and if you do have this condition, then there is treatment available.
Sometimes a therapist is unable to make a diagnosis in merely one session, and he or she may need two or more sessions in order to provide a proper diagnosis.
Keep in mind that the comprehensive treatment program that is often recommended for people with a narcissistic personality disorder is doable if you’re really determined to get better.
Prescription Medication for Treating Narcissistic Personality Disorder
While prescription psychotropic medication is often included in a treatment plan for this personality disorder, there is no “magic” pill available that automatically transforms a person and makes them “normal.”
If such a pill were possible, then there would be treatments for so many other illnesses, both physical and mental.
The treatment for this condition entails a series of psychiatric sessions to “retrain” a person’s way of thinking.
Due to the fact that most narcissists are depressed, suffer from anxiety, and aren’t able to sleep well, anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, and sleeping pills are often part of the regimen as well.
There may also be group therapy sessions, and other types of treatments recommended in a person’s treatment plan.
The problem with treating a narcissistic personality disorder is that many usually start the program and immediately quit. Others refuse to start in the first place.
A narcissist has an enhanced sense of self-worth, and many believe that they’re so amazing that they would never require help from a therapist.
Children Convincing Their Narcissistic Mothers to Seek Help
A child might have the ability to convince their narcissistic mother to seek professional help in some extreme cases, but in many cases, the mother will deny having a problem and will blame the child for any issues that may exist.
A child who is persistent and who begs their mother to seek mental health assistance might just succeed at angering her enough to yell at them or even smack them.
Narcissistic mothers are known for their volatile behavior.
As you can see, there are many characteristics of a narcissistic mother.
It’s unfortunate that narcissistic people are allowed to have children, but they have that right, just like anyone else.
Despite this fact, many narcissistic mothers end up raising children who are narcissistic, or who develop other mental illnesses.
Others develop drug and alcohol abuse problems, which only exacerbates their symptoms.