Let’s face it. We’ve all been there. We have times where we seriously messed up – when it was obviously our fault – leaving us with a mountain of guilt and not knowing what to do with it.
Not knowing what to do in these “impossible” situations is not uncommon. Not to brag, but typically, we know that our boyfriends are more prone to making mistakes and have also mastered the art of making up for it.
In this day and age, however, equality is the rule, and when we do happen to make a mistake, it’s also up to us to make up for it. After all, nobody wants to be the one who drowned the ship.
Considering all of this, we need to improve our strategy when it comes to taking care of a negative situation that we caused. Time to get our game faces on and commit, not only to handling the situation, but to making our boyfriends fall in love all over again!
The cake has been cut, the train has left the station, you messed up and there’s no going back. You’ve done your best to fix the situation, but you still need to address the elephant in the room – which is your boyfriend’s sour mood and feelings.
You need help, we know, so here are ten ways you can truly apologize to your boyfriend and have that picture-perfect life again.
1. Switch shoes
Before you embark on your journey to heal your relationship and wholeheartedly apologize to your boyfriend, you need to be sure of why you need to apologize. Assess the situation and reflect on what went down. Where did you go wrong?
Unless you see things from his perspective, you will not understand the core reason why he is hurt. To reach his heart and connect with him, you need to walk in his shoes. Empathize with how he feels and be all in when it comes to your apology.
2. Have an open conversation
The first step to your apology needs to be a heartfelt conversation where you take responsibility for your actions while also letting your boyfriend know that he is your priority. No elaborate scheme can replace an honest discussion about what happened.
This includes using words that reflect your understanding of your actions and the fact that you recognize why it is that you need to apologize. Saying sorry for the sake of saying sorry is a very transparent and thoughtless deed that will only create further complications.
3. Spell it out
Writing letters is not just an old-fashioned trope. The effort and thought of a letter seldom go unappreciated, especially by our loved ones. If you think you can’t get all your ideas out appropriately in a conversation or, worse, if your boyfriend refuses to talk to you, writing a genuine apology letter is the right path.
Make your letter yours. It shouldn’t be formal or slathered in Old English proverbs. It just needs to come from your heart and convey to your boyfriend just how sorry you are.
A letter is not a conversation, but you need to treat it like one. Imagine your boyfriend’s reactions and reply to what he reads accordingly. Stay away from excuses and focus on the solutions.
4. Ready and action
Of course, words remain words until they are solidified through actions. There is a big difference between saying an apology and showing that you are truly sorry. Our partners need to feel validated and understood. This is only possible when they believe that you are doing your best.
Even after the situation has been fixed, you have to ensure that you don’t repeat similar mistakes. Show that you have learned and grown from that experience. This is important to show your boyfriend that you are serious about them and your personal growth.
5. The waiting game
As previously discussed, patience is a virtue. Be ready to have your patience tested. You know where you messed up, you feel the guilt, and you gave your best apology. Now is the time to invest by showing your boyfriend that you are not backing down when it comes to him and the relationship.
Sometimes our pride gets the best of us, but making amends is about putting the relationship before anything else. Stand your ground in the most loving way possible. Your commitment to his well-being, your yearning to make him smile… is going to melt his heart sooner or later.
6. Be all ears
Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our guilt and fears that we forget to take a step back when we apologize. Your heart is in the right place, and you want to do your best, but maybe all your boyfriend needs right now is for you to listen. Just be there! Let him lead the conversation. Maybe he needs to pour his heart out too.
It is okay to taper down your eagerness to fix things and let your boyfriend have control of the situation. Some boyfriends like to talk about emotional stuff, and some don’t. Evaluate the situation and be ready to stay quiet if that’s what your boyfriend will appreciate in the long run.
7. Sweet reminders
Sometimes we all need a refresher on the significant parts of our relationship. A helpful way to ease the tensions and get your boyfriend to look past your mistake is by refocusing his attention on the good parts of your relationship. However, don’t do this forcefully or make it a desperate plea.
This is to divert his attention from the foul situation to the safe and happy place you two have been able to create with each other. While taking responsibility for your actions, you can recreate a past romantic trip or have a reminiscing session where both your priorities are refocused on what matters most: each other.
8. Say cheesy
This is the time to bust out the candles and that black dress in the back of your closet. Nothing should stop you from going all out and expressing your love to your boyfriend all over again. This might seem like pandering, but recovering from a mistake is one situation where chocolates and romantic dinners make a difference.
This helps get your boyfriend to look past the bad episode and reignite the spark in your relationship. Mistakes, big or small, can sometimes create huge gaps in the relationship. A good way to counter that is to make sure you take extra care of your bond by sprinkling classical romance in as early as possible.
9. Treat or treat
Money can’t buy love or happiness, but it can get you one step closer to really showing your boyfriend that you care for him. Don’t get us wrong; you can’t make a mistake and just buy your way out of it by giving your partner a new watch. Life doesn’t work that way. What you can do is be thoughtful and hopeful!
Realizing that someone went out of their way or made a significant investment just to earn your forgiveness is nothing trivial. Just like us girls like to be pampered, our guys appreciate us going all out and treating them too. Asking for his forgiveness is just the right reason to take him to his favorite game or surprise him with that new fancy phone.
10. The joke’s on you
Humor goes a long way. Yes, the situation was painful, and the process of apologizing made you feel very vulnerable, but own your mistakes and the lessons you learned from them. Relax and be open to a few jokes at your expense. Let good-willed humor smooth out the rough patch now – hopefully – behind you.
Letting your boyfriend see that you are okay with him bringing up the topic and using it as a harmless story will strengthen your bond. It will also show him that you truly did learn from the situation and are taking it head-on. This is going to put him in a much more relaxed headspace regarding the whole fiasco.
Rules of amity
Before jumping into the battle tactics, you should push up your sleeves, take a step back, and breathe deeply. Try to be more Zen. There are some valuable principles to be upheld in relationships, especially when it comes to making amends, so go into your new journey carrying a white flag, not a red one.
Honesty, the best Band-Aid
Yes, this is necessary. Could we be any more obvious? No. But this is a subject that can never be talked enough about. Honesty is the foundation of any relationship, and all relationships crumble if honesty isn’t present.
No fancy charade can help you win your man over again, you must be a hundred percent honest with them about the situation. Whatever has happened has happened, but hiding any information or lying about it will worsen the situation. Put on your big girl pants, gather up that courage, and be ready to be as open as you can be about what has passed.
Patience is a virtue
Another one of the classics; you can never go wrong with patience. You somehow ended up in a place where your boyfriend is not talking to you, talking to you with that expression, or is such a sweetie pie that you can visibly see him trying to keep all the anger under wraps.
In any of these cases, you will need to be patient. Keep telling yourself, “It will all be fine! I can fix this! He needs time!” Do not burst out “But I have already apologized!” too soon at your poor guy who, in fairness, might just need some peaceful time to think about what has happened and how to move forward.
Forgiveness is contagious
Don’t let scientists lie to you. Forgiveness is contagious and it’s shockingly efficient in its transmission. When you practice forgiveness as a principle in your relationship, your boyfriend will be more inclined to have a soft heart when it comes to your mishaps as well.
Building the relationship on understanding – where both sides are willing to listen to and trust the other – can make your partner treat you more kindly when you are in the wrong.
We all make mistakes, but the fear of making mistakes can be countered when one’s love is understood to be kind-hearted and charitable.
Apologizing is one of the most vulnerable experiences for either party in a relationship. Truly realizing that you are the one at fault can be hard to stomach. Having the right stance and making the right decisions in this crucial time can help us all get back on the right track of love as soon as possible.
A lady shouldn’t wait to err to think about keeping her boyfriend happy and feeling loved. Just like us girls like to be treated like queens, our kings need to feel appreciated as well. This all starts with really building up our relationship in an honest and dignified way.
Successfully overcoming these hurdles is like a juice cleanse for a relationship. It might taste bitter when drinking, but the results are worthwhile.
Being careful to acknowledge one’s mistake, not letting your ego get in the way, and being empathetic are essential practices for truly holding on to what’s precious in our lives.