Saying goodbye to someone you love is not something you ever expect to do. Unfortunately, this is frequently the case. You thought things would last forever, but here we are…
In this article, we discuss how to say goodbye to someone you love. Although this seems impossible, it is healthy to end a relationship on good terms.
How to say goodbye to someone you love?
A lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are too scared to say goodbye. It’s easy to ignore the issues and avoid any relationship talks. Even if you have ended things, it’s still hard to say goodbye to a person that’s been in your life for such a long time.
But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Keep on reading to find out how to say goodbye to someone you love…
The first step is to accept what has happened. Whether the timing was wrong or things just didn’t work out, it’s time to move on. It will take a while to sink in, but it’s important that you do come to terms with it. Avoid bottling up your emotions as this will only delay the healing process.
In fact, saying goodbye to a lover is a lot like grief. It’s understandable and even encouraging, to have a good cry to release stress and negative emotions.
Here are the five stages of grief:
- Denial – not believing the relationship is over
- Bargaining – trying to fix what happened
- Anger – being angry at your past lover
- Sadness – feeling helpless and regretful
- Acceptance – being okay with what happened
People go their whole life without knowing the love you experienced. And that is something you should greatly appreciate.
Be thankful that you shared love with someone so amazing. Be thankful for having someone who loved you so much. Also, remember that now you’ve felt it once, it’s only a matter of time before you feel it again.
Understand that not every gift in life will last forever. We need to learn to appreciate the special moments shared with that person, and not be afraid to share these thoughts with the person you still love.
The two of you met at a time when your souls needed each other. But it seems like it’s time for the next chapter, and you have to move on. Just remember how lucky it is to have loved someone so much that saying goodbye is so hard.
Why are you saying goodbye?
The next step is to pinpoint the exact reason you are saying goodbye to the person you love. At face value, it makes no sense. If you are ending a relationship, have a sit down and think about what you want from your life. Is this a choice you will regret in the future?
If you have no choice but to say goodbye, then you may find some comfort in this fact. If you don’t want to say goodbye, then maybe you should keep fighting for your relationship, no matter how hard it could be.
Once you have confirmed that you want to end the relationship, it’s time to tell them why. Be honest about your thoughts and feelings, as it will save a lot of pain and confusion. Being unclear about why you want to leave your partner will only make them question everything and cause unnecessary drama.
It can be a good idea to write down your feelings. This will allow you to psychically see what is going on inside your head and help craft your goodbye message. Saying goodbye to someone you love will be an emotional occasion, and the last thing you want is to fumble your words and ruin such an important moment.
Say it to their face, not via text message…
It’s hard to talk about this with the person you love, but it’s incredibly important and healthy to do so. As someone who has been dumped over text message, it hurts… a lot.
You don’t want to hurt someone so close to your heart, so suck it up, and say it to their face. Just imagine how you would feel if it was the other way around. These kinds of moments can affect someone for years, or even their whole life, so do the right thing by talking face-to-face.
No social media
It’s highly likely that you still have your lover on social media. As such, avoid scrolling through your timeline or stalking your ex’s profile. Saying goodbye to someone means not seeing them again, and stalking them on social media is only going to make that harder.
You may want to block them to prevent any moments of “weakness”. I know I’ve been there… you say you won’t look at their profile, then BOOM… its 2am and you’re scrolling down their Instagram followers looking for clues. If you are going to block your ex, you should first tell them that it’s a self-preservation thing, not because you hate them.
Time heals all wounds
Ending a relationship is going to hurt both of you. You may seem fine at first, but it will start to sink in over the following days. You may feel like your world is ending and there is no escape, but this feeling will ease with time.
Even if it time doesn’t fix all of your pain, it will at least make the pain more manageable. Those vivid memories will soon turn into blurry recollections. Just make sure not to cement the memories by over-thinking every day.
It’s tempting to soften the blow by offering hope to your ex partner. Saying, “maybe in the future” will give them something to hold onto. Whether you’re trying to be nice or talking straight from the heart, this won’t allow either of you to move on.
Go no contact (NC)
Consider going NC after you have said goodbye to your partner. This essentially means that you don’t talk to the person you love, even if it was just to be friendly. Personally speaking, I’ve ended up feeling worse every time I break the no contact rules after a sudden break up.
However, this is provided you already have some sort of closure. I’ve been NC with someone when I had no closure, and let me tell you… it was rough. As such, try to talk these through before you commit to not talking to each other for a while.
NC doesn’t have to be permanent though. You can use it for the first few months after a break-up, and then maybe even become friends after any wounds have been healed. But be careful not to reach out too early.
Prepare to face anger
While some people will take it on the chin, others will respond with anger and bitterness. It’s important to put yourself in their shoes, and understand the pain that they will be feeling. As such, don’t rise to any insults or raised voices (but still remove yourself from any dangerous situations).
You will likely have dozens of emotions and feelings floating around in your head. These feelings shouldn’t be suppressed, so feel free to write a diary. You don’t have to start a 300-page novel. Simply writing your feeling into your phone notes can get things off your mind and helps process the situation.
You may also want to write yourself a break-up letter. Basically, this is a letter that allows you to quickly see why you broke up and why it’s a bad idea to get back together. Anytime you feel like you miss your ex, you can read this letter to remind you why. This is a particularly useful tool for those getting out of toxic relationships.
Jump into new experiences
When you have to say goodbye to someone you love, you will likely be feeling incredibly lost and confused. Getting out of your house will take your mind off matters and raise your endorphins. You need to live your best life, so go out to meet new people, say yes to random events, or learn a new skill. You got this!
Don’t overindulge in alcohol or drugs
Alcohol may numb the pain for a while, but using it as a coping mechanism is only asking for trouble. Do you really want to use alcohol and drugs every time you feel hurt?
By all means have a few drinks with friends to take your mind off things and relax. However, drinking or doing drugs on your own can snowball into dependence and lifelong consequences.
Take note of any lessons
This relationship is ending because of certain reasons, so remember these reasons when you head into your next relationship. You should now know what you want from future relationships or friendships.
Think about where your past lover falls short
We tend to think of past lovers of perfect. However, we know this isn’t true. Sit down and make notes of where your past lover fell short. Thinking about their flaws will make it easier to move on.
You’ll also know what you want from future relationships. It sounds harsh, but what characteristics do you not want your new partner to have? Maybe your previous partner got drunk too often or had a short fuse? Now is the time to find a partner who can manage their emotions.
You’ll never find someone who matches all of your requirements. We are all humans after all. However, having a guideline will mean you’re avoiding those who will definitely cause problems in the long run. You’re putting the odds in your favor.
Meet someone new
You may not want to jump into bed with someone straight after a break-up, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move on to someone new after your healing period.
Allowing yourself to fall in love with someone else is a huge step in recovering from saying goodbye to someone you love. And you don’t need to jump into a new relationship either – just knowing that you’re able to love someone else will be a massive help and a beautiful feeling.
Start a routine
Your life will likely be a lot different after saying goodbye to someone you love. As such, you will need to start a new routine that prevents you from crying on your bed for 12 hours a day.
Make a strict to-do list, and then stick to it. It could go a little something like this:
- Wake up at 8 am
- Have coffee
- Meditate for 15 minutes
- Answer work emails
- Take the dog for a walk
- Paint for 30 minutes
- And so on…
Not only does this keep you busy, but it does wonders for self-improvement. You can even use the routine to meet any goals you have always wanted to achieve. Many people who have gone through break-ups end up not bothering with their appearance, which carries over to many aspects of life. Showering and dressing up early is a great way to build confidence and remind yourself that life goes on.
You’re going to be fine
I know you feel horrendous right now, but this feeling won’t last forever. Whether it’s the wrong timing or they’re not the one, you know this relationship isn’t the best thing for you right now.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is one of the hardest parts of life. After all, they are one of the most important people in your life.
But you know what? You’re THE most important person you will ever have.
It can be hard to trust life to reward us with love again, especially after experiencing such disappointment, but it will happen. So… find a hobby, exercise, start new habits, create new memories, cry, talk to your friends, challenge yourself, try to have fun, and enjoy life’s little moments.
One morning you’ll get up and not think about them. You will have moved on. I can promise you that.