What do women want? Men have been asking this for centuries, and yet it still seems to remain a mystery to most. Despite all the articles, books, and songs on the matter, there are some fundamental needs every woman has in a relationship – which are pretty straightforward.
Just ask any women, and she’ll agree. Keep reading for the ultimate list of 12 things every woman needs in a relationship.
1. A partner who’s open to being wrong.
A couple is bound to have arguments along the way. In fact, Couples Fight in a Healthy Relationship, and a healthy fight can be really good for the growth of the relationship.
There’s so much that goes on when conflict arises that most people try to avoid it altogether, or see it as a sign that something is seriously wrong in the relationship.
Most people are wired to protect themselves, and react with defensiveness when criticized or questioned in any kind of situation. What a woman truly wants from her man is to be open to being wrong – it’s as simple as that.
Being the bigger person in a fight is hard, but any man who manages to let go of a quarrel for the sake of peace and happiness is a keeper in a woman’s eyes. Instead of trying to win every argument or prove that she’s wrong, he simply communicates with kindness and respect.
Being on each other’s side and supporting one another is essential. Being able to admit that you’re wrong, or that you’re stuck in a petty fight requires a lot of self-awareness, emotional intelligence and care for the other person.
2. A partner who’s affectionate.
There are so many ways a man can show affection to the woman he’s with. One of the most common concepts is the “5 love languages”, which suggests that people respond to signals and types of affection in different ways.
People need to be loved in the way that reflects their specific love language, not the way the other person feels natural to.
Each of us has our own unique love language, which is how we want to be loved – whether that’s through physical touch and sex, gifts, acts of service, kind words, or loving gestures. A man who understands his partner’s love language will find it a lot easier to sustain a loving and long-lasting relationship.
He’ll know what his partner needs from him and will be able to show her that affection – whether verbally, physically, or with favors, time, or gifts. This is the best way to grow closer together and stronger as a couple.
3. Someone who values personal space.
The line between time together and alone time is so thin – the longer the relationship goes on, the more your lives seem to converge.
A woman wants a man who’ll value her personal space and give her the freedom she needs to keep going on with her life, and to achieve the things she needs to.
Being together doesn’t mean forgetting about the rest of your life and only prioritizing the relationship. Every self-respecting woman knows this, and would appreciate a man who can strike the right balance with her – and especially one who won’t make her feel guilty when she needs to prioritize another part of her life – be that family, friends, a hobby, or her career.
4. A man who’s respectful of other women.
No matter how much a man loves the woman he’s with, if he’s openly disrespectful towards other women, his partner won’t appreciate it.
In fact, it’s likely she’ll be completely embarrassed by his behavior – and will avoid bringing him along when she’s with her girlfriends, out of concern he might say the wrong thing.
A man who speaks ill of the women in his life, be it his ex, his boss, or even his mother, is one who doesn’t respect women as a whole. No woman will be able to trust him fully if she feels he can so easily be disrespectful of other women.
5. A man who’s a feminist ally.
To build on the previous point, a woman wants to be with a man who’s a feminist ally, and isn’t afraid to speak out for women – whether that means defending a woman on the street, or being an old-school gentleman. Any woman will be thrilled to be with a man like that.
A woman wants to see that the man she’s with is her biggest fan, and is also someone who supports all women and wants to see them succeed. A man who can recognize a strong and successful woman, and not be intimidated by her is a real keeper.
She also looks for someone who never stereotypes the woman he’s with, or expect her to do all the house work just because she’s a woman.
A true man wouldn’t let his partner do all the hard work and wouldn’t be labelling tasks based on gender stereotypes. He’ll simply be an ally and a supporting hand in anything and everything.
6. Someone who really listens.
Every woman wants to be with a man who’s an intuitive and empathetic listener. To truly listen to her, instead of making assumptions, is the only way to really know what a woman wants.
It’s true that women sometimes expect men to be mind-readers, to take hints, and to notice subtle gestures and mood changes, and it’s not because they’re delusional. They simply wish men will make a bit more effort to notice things and do things without being asked or told.
Any woman wants a man who listens to her, especially when she really needs it. Maybe she wants to have a good vent about work or something that pissed her off, or she might have an important topic to discuss in the relationship. Undivided attention is always greatly appreciated.
7. A man who’s emotionally mature.
Emotional maturity is an essential trait in any grown-up relationship, and without it, there’s miscommunication, confusion and frustration. There are so many nuances to emotional maturity.
Here are just a few of the key ones:
- Keeping one’s word, even if it’s tough
- Taking responsibility for one’s actions
- Using respectful language when communicating
- Being unafraid of vulnerability or being authentic
- Having healthy boundaries
- Having strong self-awareness
- Being able to handle stress and not let it harm the relationship
- Accepting one’s feelings and not trying to conceal them
- Humility and empathy
- Being able to have a difficult conversation
- Looking to resolve problems instead of causing them
The list goes on, and it’s pretty easy to spot a man who’s emotionally immature – who’s still acting like he has zero responsibilities in the world, perhaps the way he did when he was a child.
8. Someone who can be a friend.
At the end of the day, every woman wants the man next to her to be a true friend – there’s no doubt about that. It doesn’t mean replacing her other friends; it just means having those qualities that we all value in one – including listening skills, patience, understanding, and kindness.
It also means having someone to have fun with, travel with, hang out with, and someone who genuinely likes our company and doesn’t mind making tons of plans to spend time together.
Every extraordinary romantic relationship is ultimately built upon the foundations of strong friendship, mutual adoration, and acceptance. The couples who remain friends despite everything life throws at them are the ones who stay together for life.
9. A man who doesn’t make everything about sex.
Of course, women need physical intimacy with the man they’re with, but what they truly despise is when a man makes everything about sex. Then, certain favors he might make are no longer selfless, and “good behavior” is simply so he can get laid.
It’s a surefire way for a woman to feel devalued and underappreciated. No woman should feel like she owes her partner sex.
At the same time, a woman definitely wants to have sexual chemistry with the guy she’s with, and it goes without saying that she’s got needs just like he does.
10. She wants loyalty.
No woman wants to feel like she can’t fully trust her partner, like he might be flirting with other women, or has one foot out the door all the time. But it goes way beyond simply not cheating.
What loyalty truly means in a relationship is being truly faithful, and respecting her whether she’s there or not. He shouldn’t consciously put himself in situations where he might stray, might get hit on by another woman.
Harmless flirting might come natural to a guy, but doing it in front of his partner is horrible – and will only bring mistrust and jealousy.
A guy shouldn’t compare his woman to other women, especially openly. He should treat her the way he wants to be treated.
At the same time, she also wants her man to be honest. There’s nothing worse for a woman than to be cheated on and lied to, then finding out she’s the last to know.
11. She wants a man who’s crazy about her
Every woman wants to be adored, and to feel that the man she’s with can’t take his eyes off her. Especially after the honeymoon stage has passed, a little adoration goes a long way.
A man should really see his woman – notice any changes she makes to her appearance, and whenever she makes extra effort.
A woman wants to know she’s not being taken for granted, especially in a long-term relationship. There are many things a man can do to show to his woman he’s still crazy about her, including:
- Paying her compliments often
- Commenting on how she looks, not just what she’s wearing
- Be keen to “show her off” at work events
- Texting her randomly during the day to tell her she’s missed
- Telling her how hot she is
- Saying thank you for the little things she does day in and day out
- Spoiling her because it’ll make her happy
- Giving her something she would love
- Bringing her flowers without any special occasion
12. He needs to encourage her dreams.
Somehow, women tend to give up on their dreams or drop their plans to be with a guy, follow a guy, or have children, which is a big shame – and it’s usually one of their biggest regrets.
Many women won’t talk about it, but the real truth is that they simply want a partner who won’t let them give up on their ambitions, and who’ll remind them that they can do anything.
Every woman wants to feel equally as important in the relationship, to know that her dreams matter too.
No woman should ever feel like she’s settling just because she wants to have it all. On the contrary, it’s every man’s job to remind his significant other that she can be whoever she wants and she can achieve anything she sets her mind to.