Sex is important to every relationship, but with the pressures of work and family life, it’s easy for sex to get pushed off. It’s time to bring back that spark!
This blog post will show you 13 ways to improve your sex life in your relationship, and how to reignite the flame under the sheets.
1. Think beyond the P-and-V.
Penetrative sex is standard when it comes to fun in the bedroom. However, it’s important to explore other ways to have fun.
From the ancient days of Tantric teachings to modern-day genital massage, there are many ways to stimulate your body and send you over the top!
The key is in touching the different erogenous zones on the body, which does wonders for getting a person aroused. The data also suggests women and men are equally as likely to respond positively.
So, if you’re looking for a new way to explore your partner’s body, start by giving one of the following spots an intimate touch:
- inner thigh
For one night, week, or month, remove genitals from the equation. What new ways can you and your partner explore different types of sexual pleasure? There’s only one way to find out!
2. Get out of autopilot.
You may have made it through the awkward and painful phases that accompany a new relationship, but eventually, you might find yourself in a “sexual-autopilot” state – when both partners become so comfortable with each other to the point that they barely even think before having sex anymore.
These couples are on an endless road of mindless intercourse for what feels like no good reason at all!
Sex is a vast and varied landscape, with plenty of options to explore. Savoring the variety will keep you from getting bored in bed – which ultimately leads to much more fun on your intimate adventures!
Wouldn’t it be nice if every sexual encounter we have was different? Maybe that’s why people are always looking for new things outside their relationship; they never want the same old thing that they’re doing at home all the time.
Sex can be boring when two or three positions become routine. Doing this often leads to partners not fully exploring each other’s body, nor experiencing full pleasure together due to the lack of variation during these encounters.
3. Communicate before and after sex.
Instead of falling straight to sleep after sex, you may want to have a quick talk about how the moment was. Take this time as an opportunity to revel in the joyous moments you just shared together – and also improve future encounters by discussing what turned each other on or what didn’t.
If you enjoyed what just happened between the sheets, it’s always best to start your post-sex conversation with a compliment — but don’t forget that honesty is also important.
4. Educate yourselves.
We read self-help books for everything from finances to weight loss, so why not use them when your sex life is at stake too?
Whether your focus is revitalizing your sex life, learning more about the female anatomy, getting turned on, or discovering new positions – there’s a book for it!
A great book for couples is Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It discusses the intricacies of female sexuality in a way that will have you and your partner eager to take notes, while also exploring how women are incredibly powerful creatures who use their brains more than any other body part during sex.
5. Explore toys.
There are many options in the world of sex toys, so it’s not easy to choose just one. If you’ve been looking for a way to spice up your love life with something new and exciting then look no further!
There’s an incredible variety of toys that can help out any couple – or even solo player – who wants more adventure than their own hands offer them.
You may choose to purchase a vibrator, whip, body paint, or butt plug. All are great toys for adding extra spice to your sex life. You can even shop for the products together, which allows the two of you to enjoy a date that’s a bit different from normal.
6. Masturbate on your own.
Masturbation is a common way to explore one’s sexuality. It has been shown that it can help improve physical and mental health, which makes masturbation an excellent practice for people of all ages!
Studies have found links between masturbating during adulthood and stress relief, better sleep quality, boosting immunity levels (due to the release of endorphins), increased self-esteem, and an increase in libido and sexual desire. Masturbating might even offer some insight into how you like sex – whether alone or shared with others.
The most common way to masturbate is by using one’s hands, but there are many other ways to still produce the same enjoyable results – such as using lube or experimenting with different toys.
7. See a therapist.
If you’re having trouble with your sexual frustrations, it’s time to find a sex therapist. They’ll be able to help guide you through many of these difficult topics that you’ve been hesitant in talking about for so long.
Many of us are so tender and sensitive around sexuality, which can make it difficult to talk with each other about it – especially in a way that isn’t blaming or hurtful.
8. Do kegel exercises.
These exercises can improve the strength of orgasm. This passage talks about the importance of exercising your pelvic floor muscles and how it can lead to better sexual fitness.
Both men AND women need to exercise their pelvic floor muscles in order to improve all aspects of sexual fitness, including being more confident during sex. You can do a kegel by simply tightening up those same muscles you use when trying to stop urine midstream.
After a few months of practice using these methods, one’s body will become stronger – and also have greater control over orgasms, which can lead to even better self-confidence.
9. Be healthy.
Physical activity is a great way to improve your sexual functioning. Look for ways to incorporate aerobic exercise into your daily routine, which will get the blood pumping and strengthen those heart muscles!
When it comes to physical arousal, a healthy heart and blood vessels are key. If you’re looking for the best way to improve your health in general or ramp up sexual activity, try adding some fun sports into the mix! You’ll be amazed at how much better this makes you feel overall – not just sexually, but emotionally as well.
Aerobic exercises can be especially important when it comes to reaching orgasm – which is due to their association with good blood flow throughout our body (notably essential during sex).
10. Try different positions.
Position-playing can not only spice up lovemaking sessions but also help overcome some of the problems that couples face. For example, a woman may find it difficult to achieve an orgasm in missionary. However, with certain positions like “doggy style,” she’ll be stimulated in ways that better suit her body type and preferences.
Different sex acts have been around for centuries and usually serve a few different purposes, whether that’s exploring fantasies together or overcoming sexual difficulties, such as pain during certain positions.
11. Use lube
Lubricants are a serious game-changer for many couples because they allow for more enjoyable intercourse without the pain or friction of dryness.
The truth is that even if you’re insanely turned on and ready for sex, using extra lubricant can make the experience even more enjoyable.
One study found out that women who used lubricant during sex were more satisfied with the experience. More than 2,000 female participants reported feeling like they had a better time when their genitals felt wetter and slicker due to lube use.
The vagina can become dry or irritated for a variety of reasons, some more serious than others. It may be because of birth control pills, stress, age, or dehydration. If you’re new to lube shopping there are many options available, but I recommend following these rules:
- Choose one that’s glycerin and sugar-free. Many girls are unaware of the fact some ingredients can have a negative effect on their vagina. Maintaining an unhealthy pH balance by using these products will lead to complications like yeast infections and other issues.
- Don’t use an oil-based lube with condoms. The oil in lubricants can break down the latex and even affect sperm viability – which is why it’s best to use water-based lubes for safer, healthier sex!
- Silicone-based lubes don’t work with silicone-based toys. If you use silicone toys in the bedroom, use water-based lubes.
- Limit the use of household products. Many couples use products from their bathroom or kitchen cupboard, such as shampoo, coconut oil, petroleum jelly, or butter. However, this isn’t clean – and should be avoided if you can.
12. Mark a special night in the calendar.
Sure, most people would say that sex is something to enjoy when it happens naturally or spontaneously – without setting a time for it first. However, there are benefits to putting some thought into planning lovemaking sessions well ahead of time!
It’s likely that one of you is the main instigator in the relationship. While this doesn’t seem like an issue, it can cause inconsistencies and resentment further down the line.
People can become resentful and frustrated with their partner for constantly saying no to requests, and this cycle of rejection can eventually lead partners away from each other. It’s important that you think about how often a person feels like they’re being rejected by having an open dialogue on what works best in your relationship.
An easy way to deal with the possibility of a significant other rejecting any request is by making sure there are some days where both people have time off work to be romantic! Just knowing that every week has certain hours set aside helps reduce tension between couples who may want different things from the bedroom.
With the frequency agreed upon, each partner will know when they can look forward to their next date. This removes any worry of rejection and builds trust in one another. Plus, your libido will be at an all-time high knowing you’re going to have sex later…
13. Be more spontaneous.
While scheduling can work for some, it’s still advisable to be spontaneous with sex. Sometimes the best sex happens in the middle of doing other things, like cooking a romantic dinner or watching TV.
Though structured sex can be a helpful tool for maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships, it’s not the most satisfying. Spontaneous sex generates newness and excitement in your relationship that’ll never happen with routine sexual encounters.
The next time you want to get it on, start by touching in a normal way that’s nonsexual, such as touching her hair or playing with his tie – and then slowly turn the heat up. It’s exciting and spontaneous!
The Bottom Line
Though you’ve grown fond of each other over time, there’s no doubt about it: doing the same positions every night, sex becomes something you just do – and you may not be able to reach orgasm.
In fact, your lovemaking ends up being nothing more than choreographed movements on top or below until one party reaches climax…
But hopefully, the tips in this article have helped you see things in a different way. It’s time to bring back that spark – you can do it!