Human beings are curious creatures who love unveiling things and getting to the root of mysteries, and when it comes to our romantic relationships, we find it hard to stay interested if we aren’t just a little bit curious about what the other person is like.
If someone is an open book, or shares every aspect of their lives on social media, it makes us feel overwhelmed with information and want to withdraw our attention.
Most men are looking for passion, grace, and lots of steaminess when it comes to relationships. They see James Bond and shape their ideal woman up to be irresistibly sexy with a playful mystery that keeps them on their toes.
When we think of a mysterious woman, we think of someone with incredibly sharp facial features, clad in black heels, with a gorgeous shade of red on her lips and her nails, who’s gone like the wind the second you look away.
While you don’t have to do that exactly, having a healthy sense of allure around you cultivates a sense of curiosity no man can resist. Keep reading to find out how!
Why Be Mysterious?
It’s no secret that after a while, relationships can become monotonous. Many men are so ambitious that they flee their relationships the minute they feel like they’re getting bored or settling into a routine.
Being mysterious in a relationship can keep up the tempo and make it more interesting. it’s important to always keep that man interested by never doing what he expects you to do.
It’s important to remember that you’re perfect the way you are, and any man would be lucky to have you – but if you’ve been struggling with striking the right chord with how much to hide and how much to reveal, this guide is for you.
Here are 22 ways to be more mysterious in your relationship:
1. Don’t be online all the time.
While it is good to be available to your beau, being online all the time might give the impression that you’re too available. Me might think that you have all the time in the world and no real interests of your own except to chat with him.
Any man who values mystery and wants a mysterious woman will recoil at the sight of you being online all the time.
2. Don’t reply too quickly.
This is in conjunction with not being online all the time. Even if you’re on your phone when your man texts you, and no matter how much you have been missing him, don’t reply too quickly.
Make him wait, and make him wonder what you are doing that is so important that you just can’t get back to him. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least half an hour before replying with an “Oops! Didn’t see your text!”.
This is actually one of the fool-proof 11 ways to make him chase you through text.
3. Make your social media accounts private.
This one might be a no-brainer, but most people share their lives on their social media accounts. Having a public account means that everyone can come and see your posts, like and comment on them, and even view your stories.
With no privacy, the element of mystery you’ve been trying to cultivate will go right out the window. The first step to being private is to have private social media accounts.
4. Don’t have too many social media followers.
When somebody has too many followers on their social media and a private account, the first thing we think is that they probably accept everyone’s follow-requests, and that their privacy is just a façade. You don’t want that.
Add only the people you know very well on your social media. After all, why should strangers like your selfies anyway?
5. Don’t post too much about your life.
No matter what you do on social media and no matter how many hours you spend on it, try to keep the nitty-gritty details of your life private. Don’t post pictures of yourself every day, and don’t overshare on your IG stories.
Nobody needs to know where you are every single day of your life.
6. Don’t tell them everything about your day.
Never dominate the conversation with your boyfriend or partner by bombarding him with details of your day. Be mysterious. Nod politely and encourage them to talk about their day instead.
Fend some questions, and don’t delve into the tiny details of your hour-by-hour schedule at the slightest prompting.
7. Don’t share too many intimate details.
Even if intimate questions about your life – especially your past – come up, try to avoid them politely. Everyone has done embarrassing things in their lives, and everyone has had heartbreaks – but it’s unnecessary to talk about all of it.
Don’t be so quiet that you seem eerie; rather, keep the answers to your questions truthful yet short.
8. Create boundaries from the start.
A great way to keep the mystery around you alive is by creating an aura of allure around you from the start. You shouldn’t suddenly start keeping things from your boyfriend or partner, as that’ll only make him suspicious.
Try to start the relationship in a manner that he understands your tight boundaries and preference for privacy from the start.
The right guy will both respect that and find you irresistible.
9. Don’t make them meet all your friends.
Another great way to be mysterious in a relationship is to keep details of your life outside of your relationship private.
This doesn’t mean that you turn cold as soon as he asks you about your friends. Just don’t take your man to every party or reveal private details of your friends to him. Sisters before misters!
10. Don’t take them to family events.
Family events are as intimate as it gets. These are the people that know you the best and aren’t afraid of talking about embarrassing details of your past. They also have a collection of the ugliest pictures from your adolescent years.
Simply put, there isn’t anything more intimate than taking your boyfriend to meet your family, especially around the holidays – so if you want to keep the mystery alive, don’t do that. Save that for when he becomes your partner!
11. Don’t constantly text them.
This is a classic example of where us girls go wrong. While we know you can’t get enough of your man, part of maintaining allure is to not text him at all times of the day. Most men want to work their way into a girl’s heart. Don’t give him that position easily.
A simple rule to follow is this: if he hasn’t asked about it, don’t tell him.
12. Don’t talk too much.
When you hang out together or even with mutual friends, be confident and charming – even adorably interesting – but never extremely chatty and talkative.
There are 11 Things Men Hate About Women, and this is one of them. Remember, you want to keep him on his toes, not turn him off – so check out these 17 Ways to Instantly Become More Attractive to Men.
13. Vent with caution.
Of course, you can’t be so focused on hiding aspects of yourself that you never let the man in. It’s okay to share your problems and concerns with him, and even seek his advice.
However, be careful not to let the most vulnerable parts of you be exposed. The problem with venting is that you never realize just how much you overshare. He’s your boyfriend, not your therapist.
14. Be a good listener.
Become adept at the subtle art of listening intently. Practice this with your friends and in front of a mirror when alone.
Nod your head and practice how to smile. When you talk to your man, make him feel like he’s the center of your world.
15. Don’t discuss past relationships.
Most of us indeed want to know how many people our current partners have been with before us and the dynamics of those relationships. However, it’s a good idea to contain your curiosity.
Even if he asks, don’t tell him too much about your high school crush you thought would last a lifetime or the first boy you dreamed of having children with.
16. Surprise them.
Most of us have uniquely special tricks up our sleeves. Maybe we can speak fluent German without showing any signs of it or even solve a Rubik’s cube in under a minute.
Whatever your weird superpower or talent is, keep it private. Only reveal it when the situation calls for it – for instance, when you have to ask the sommelier in a French café for a special bottle of wine in pitch-perfect French.
17. Don’t share every detail about your job.
Most of us know the ins and outs of the office politics our partner goes through. We support them through deadlines, downsizings, and demotions.
Another great way to keep up the mystery around you is to brief your partner about your job/career but not reveal too much. They don’t have to know the name of your office best friends or even what you had for lunch.
18. Don’t interrogate them about their lives.
While every relationship starts with a giddy curiosity about what the other person is like, what they want to achieve, their hopes, dreams, and disappointments, take our advice: reel in the giddiness.
Don’t ask them such intimate questions about where they grew up and where they want to retire. Intimacy makes you look too invested, and your goal is to remain mysterious, simple, and casual (of course, if that’s not your goal, check out the 17 Different Types Of Relationships to see where you fit and what you’re really looking for).
19. Don’t answer every question about your personal life.
While you don’t have to be rude or shut your partner down, when they do ask you a question about your personal life, try to keep it brief. Say something simple and truthful but don’t sit down and start telling them everything from the beginning.
What they don’t know will only keep them wanting more.
20. Have a life of your own.
We can’t emphasize this enough. The best way to have a sense of mystery around you is to be your own person – and not abandon the social aspect of your life when you enter a relationship.
No rulebook says you have to be completely transparent the minute you enter a relationship. Keep the private details of life private till you’re sure he’s the one.
21. Travel by yourself
Another great way to keep the mystery alive is to travel by yourself. You don’t need to be bound to your partner, and there’s no reason why you must travel together or not at all.
When the opportunity comes and you get the chance to travel somewhere, whether for business or pleasure, jump at it.
22. Keep old photos to yourself.
There must be hordes of photos of you in albums that are graying or turning brown. Your journey through time, your ups and downs, the weight gains, the acne, the hairstyles… all of them make you who you are.
Keeping the photos as a private part of you and even a mystery to your partner is a great way to reclaim parts of your life that you’ve lived alone. In fact, it makes you more whole.
The Bottom Line
Relationships take effort, and don’t get any smoother the longer you’ve been together. But, they do get more complicated as familiarity, mystery, and desire fade.
By focusing on your relative freedom, friendships, and free time, you and your partner will find a way to keep the flame alive.