You’ve been dating someone for a while, and you think things are going great. But then all of a sudden, you get that nagging feeling that something is wrong.
And it isn’t just one thing – it’s a lot of little things.
You get the feeling your boyfriend no longer wants to be with you. He doesn’t say it, but he might as well!
The truth is that people show their dissatisfaction with a relationship in very different ways.
Some will just snap at you and tell you they can’t take it anymore while others will let the negativity and resentment breed for months and won’t address it.
If you have a feeling this relationship is sinking, you need a proper checklist.
Here are 18 signs that a man is unhappy in the relationship and some ideas for what to do about it.
1. He’s always out with his friends
One of the first signs of an unhappy boyfriend is that he is never around. All he does is go out with his mates, stay out late, and book every weekend with someone else and not you.
What is going on? Doesn’t he want to be with you anymore?
He pretends like it’s no big deal, but it’s really starting to bug you. This is especially tough if you don’t live together – you might as well not be dating because he is never around.
What can you do? Confront him about it! What’s the point of waiting around when you might as well be dating someone else?
Equally, if there is an actual issue in your relationship, how are you supposed to fix it if you are barely ever together?
2. He isn’t accommodating anymore
When a man is in love, he’ll move mountains for you, that’s a fact. You know that because you used to enjoy all of his devotion, affection, and attention on a daily basis.
Nothing you asked was too much, he wanted to be your hero, and he gave you all his time.
But now he isn’t at all accommodating. He won’t compromise, he won’t try to meet you halfway, he has no interest in making things easy.
It just feels like he’s unhappy and has checked out completely. The only thing he hasn’t done is articulate how he actually feels about you.
3. He needs to be alone…a lot
Another sign that a man is unhappy in the relationship is his need for an inordinate amount of “me time”. What is he doing?
Why won’t he spend more time with you? He isn’t even asking for it, he just takes alone time and doesn’t text back.
4. He is less physical with you
Of course, when a man is unhappy in the relationship, he will be decidedly less physical, and you will certainly notice. It isn’t just the sex either.
He just won’t touch you like he used to. He lets go of your hand, he doesn’t cuddle you much anymore, and a peck on the cheek is the most action you get these days.
Another reason he is physically distant could be that he’s got his eyes on someone else or he’s cheating on you.
If his heart isn’t in it, he probably feels that it won’t be fair to you to continue being physical.
It’s time to ask – is he even with you anymore?
5. He picks up fights all the time
When a man is no longer invested in the relationship, he doesn’t care about arguing often.
In fact, he might feel the need to pick fights with you because it will be easier to justify the breakup.
Some men want you to see them as the bad guy and make the tough decision to break up yourself, instead of him telling you that it isn’t working.
As a result, he’s argumentative, sarcastic, and challenging. You get the feeling you are no longer on the same page, not even the same chapter.
Often, he’ll pick up fights for no reason and blow things out of proportion – another way to show you that the relationship isn’t working for him.
6. He won’t make an effort for you
If your boyfriend suddenly stops taking care of himself, you know that something’s up. He just doesn’t seem to care anymore. Some signs include:
- He doesn’t shower regularly
- He won’t put on a clean shirt before going out with you
- He makes no effort with your friends or family
- He won’t text you during the day just to say hello
7. He has stopped saying “I love you”
Perhaps the ultimate sign that your boyfriend has checked out is the fact he doesn’t tell you that he loves you anymore.
It’s really noticeable, especially in the instances when you say it to him, but he won’t say it back. He just leaves you hanging!
8. He won’t make long-term plans with you
Of course, a man who doesn’t want to be with you anymore won’t spend time making plans with you, even if just to fake it.
He’ll just ignore all of your attempts to plan holidays together, attend concerts, or go to a friend’s wedding.
He might also downplay it by saying something along the lines of:
Oh, it’s not for months, too early to plan now
I am not sure; I will need to check with work
Let’s talk about it some other time
9. He’s glued to his phone
One of the most obvious signs that a man is unhappy in a relationship is the sheer amount of time he spends on his phone instead of talking to you.
Not only that, but he is not bothered when you complain about it.
You can see him smiling at his phone often, which could only mean one thing – he’s texting other women.
He might not have said he wants to break up yet, but he’s showing you that his mind isn’t really on you.
10. He talks about other women…a lot
Not only does he text other women, but he also mentions other women in front of you!
Even if you are not a jealous person by nature, you can’t help but feel annoyed. Does he really not care how it makes you feel?
He mentions works colleagues, friends, even his friends’ girlfriends. Sometimes he even compares you to them, which is hurtful.
11. He won’t talk to you
He seems to have time for everything that he loves and all his friends, but when it comes to talking to you, he doesn’t seem interested.
His texts are short, he rarely calls, and when you are together, there’s an awkward silence.
Whenever you want to talk about anything relating to your relationship, he doesn’t really seem interested. Are you sure you want to keep trying with this guy?
12. He doesn’t ask about your opinion anymore
A rather subtle sign that your boyfriend would rather be dating someone else is that he no longer seeks your opinion.
He used to ask what you thought about anything. Now, he seems to know best. He won’t even double-check on important matters that concern both of you.
It’s a clear sign that he’s unhappy, just hasn’t said it yet.
13. He’s always busy with work
Of course, now that he no longer cares about the relationship, all he can think about is work. He is just constantly busy!
He stays at work late, he stresses about work, and he won’t share much about it with you.
You just get the feeling that he’d rather work late than spend the evening with you, which makes you feel really sad.
14. He criticizes you, often for no apparent reason
The man who used to adore you is now not so happy with you. As a result, there is always something he finds to criticize!
Whether it’s your cooking, your jokes, or the way you dress, he seems to have an opinion on it.
It’s time to remind you that you are who you are, and if he doesn’t like it, he can at least not say anything mean.
15. He doesn’t really notice you anymore
If your boyfriend no longer notices little things about you and pays you compliments, he’s definitely checked out.
The sad thing is even if you point it out it won’t make a difference. He just doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore.
16. He doesn’t care about your friends and family
Another big sign that your boyfriend wants out of the relationship is his entire attitude towards your friends and family members.
He used to make an effort, want to hang out with your friends, and be respectful to your parents.
You don’t see this effort anymore. He’s cold towards you and completely uninterested in the important people in your life.
17. He asks for a break from the relationship
If your boyfriend starts to suggest taking a break, you know the relationship is headed to its end. No matter how much you resist or prolong it, a break usually just means a breakup.
It might be a nicer and more subtle way to ask for one, but it’s still that.
What he is saying is: this is the end, and you should accept it.
Of course, depending on how emotionally you react, he might pretend that there’s hope but nine out of ten times, this is the end.
18. You know it in your heart
One of the strongest powers you have is the power of your female intuition. If you feel it in your heart that the man you’re with is unhappy, you are probably right.
If things are not going well, you will just know.
What to do if your man is unhappy in the relationship
Not everything is doom and gloom. Sometimes, there are other reasons for your boyfriend’s unhappiness, including money troubles, work stress, and family pressure.
Before you despair, sit down with him, and have an open and honest conversation about what’s really going on in your relationship.
Ask him some big questions he can’t avoid, such as:
What do you wish I could change?
What’s frustrating you about our relationship?
Do you still love me?
Do you want to make this work?
One of the best things you can do for yourself is lower your expectations and accept that if he’s checked out (and no longer in love with you), you don’t have to keep pushing to save the relationship.
Of course, there are things you can both agree to do and change, however, it’s okay to accept that this might be ending.
At the end of the day, the end of one relationship is an opportunity to find another and possibly have the best relationship of your life.
Don’t get hooked on the idea of saving something that is beyond saving unless both of you will work at that.