Marriage can be challenging at times; any married couple would tell you that. It comes with a lot of compromises, sacrifices, time, and effort. After a few months or years of being married, it’s only natural to ask yourself:
Did I marry the right person?
Does he really know me?
Is there something I can do to improve our relationship?
How can I avoid fighting over silly things?
There are many signs that a marriage is destined to last, despite the challenges along the way. Keep reading for 14 signs of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife – and see if your relationship is meant to survive!
1. You spend time on shared activities that you both enjoy.
One of the great signs of a healthy and mature marriage is sharing various activities that you both enjoy doing together. As relationships are full of compromises, you may find that you always have to figure out when to do things that you like or when to do things that he likes.
However, it’s when you find the middle ground in shared activities you both enjoy that the real magic happens. Find what you both enjoy doing and do it often – whether that’s wine tasting, binge-watching TV, hiking, or running.
Support one another to truly immerse yourselves in the activity.
2. You spend time apart.
The healthiest marriages are based on trust, respect, and giving each other space. They aren’t about spending every waking moment together and losing yourselves in the relationship.
If you and your husband still spend time apart doing the things you enjoy individually, then you’ll certainly have a long-lasting marriage.
It’s essential to:
- Connect with friends and family separately
- Spend evenings on one’s own at home
- Be okay with spending time apart
- Be comfortable enough to sit in the same room in silence
3. You pay attention to each other.
It’s normal to get busy with the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life and be less attentive than you were at the start of the relationship. However, a couple who really pays attention to each other will be happier.
- This is a couple that is willing to put their phones down and really listen to one another.
- Your partner should notice what you want and need at any given moment and be there for you – and the same goes for you.
- If one partner is stacked with work, the other shouldn’t nag them about forgotten house chores; they should be comfortable with stepping in to help.
Marriage is a balancing act. It means there will be periods when you take turns supporting each other and being extra attentive; it’s critical to the success of the relationship.
4. They’re the first person you tell good news to.
… and the bad stuff as well. This is a clear sign of a strong and healthy relationship. If something good happens to you, it should really be your husband you want to tell first.
If you’ve got a challenge you’re working through, he’s your go-to person (not a friend). No matter how tough a conversation is, if you’re married to the right person, you’ll trust them with it anyway – even if you feel like you may disappoint them.
5. You don’t keep secrets from one another.
Of course, at the start of a relationship, you want to put your best foot forward. You may withhold some information about yourself or your family. You might even tell the occasional white lie.
But once you’ve been with someone for ages and are married to them, there’s no room for secrets. Secrets breed a lack of trust, intimacy issues, and all sorts of problems.
You shouldn’t be keeping secrets from your husband; he should be the one who knows everything there is to know about you – and you should trust that he’ll still love you, no matter what.
6. Your relationship is built on trust.
It goes without saying that trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife. In fact, you should most definitely not marry someone unless you trust them 100%.
Trust is absolutely critical for the survival of a marriage. It means:
- Trusting them to make the right decisions that involve both of you – without you having to micromanage everything.
- Trusting them to take care of the home when you’re not there and allowing a little bit of mess once in a while.
- Trusting them with money and financial decisions, because you’re one together.
- Trusting their judgement and advice, especially when you ask for it.
- Trusting them to be faithful to you – and not being jealous when they give you no reason to be.
The list goes on…
Trust ensures that you don’t have time to be jealous of each other. You don’t just react like any other couple. You don’t cause a scene out of nowhere. It’s okay to feel jealousy, but you’re confident enough not to take notice of it. You aren’t defined by it and you don’t react to it.
7. You’re physically affectionate.
They say marriage kills romance – but that’s just a poor excuse some couples make for why they aren’t spending enough time with one another. In fact, the best marriages are full of intimacy, passion, cuddles, and quality time together.
Mature partners realize that it’s normal to spend less time together than at the honeymoon stage, but they still make an effort to give each other time and attention. They make sure their partner feels cared for and really seen. It leads to true marriage satisfaction and bliss – which not all couples can proudly say they have.
Not Having Enough Sex? Here’s How to Please Your Husband.
8. You know how to fight.
A happily married couple knows that arguments will arise in any relationship, but when they do, they know how to tackle them healthily and respectfully. They aren’t trying to outspeak the other person, raise their voice to make a point, or storm out of the room when frustrated.
A healthy relationship requires both partners to fight fairly with each other. They:
- Listen to understand, and don’t wait only to respond
- Assume good intentions
- Play back what they’ve heard to check their bias
- Have fights that are productive, not destructive
- Aren’t scared to be the bigger person and apologize
- Don’t use blame language
9. You put them first.
Between work, kids, and commitments, it can be hard to put your spouse first. This is why some couples stand out as exceptional partners. When you’re with the right person, you find ways to make each other feel special, give back, help, and ensure they’re happy.
It can be as simple as doing the dishes after dinner or saying “I love you” unexpectedly. Small surprises also go a long way.
10. You’re on the same wavelength.
When you know the person you married is your soulmate, things just make sense. You click, you speak the same language, and you’re on the same wavelength. Things are effortless – not because they’re easy, but because you’re both willing to put in the work.
A huge sign of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife is sharing the same values, beliefs, and life goals. It doesn’t mean that you have the same interests or personalities, but that you balance each other out. You complement one another in a special way. You just work.
11. You’re a power couple.
The definition of a “power couple” can be a little bit vague, but it should certainly not be underestimated. Whilst power couples exist among celebrities, they aren’t the only ones. A power couple is one where both partners are equals. They have shared goals and ambitions, but they also have their own goals.
They support each other and push each other to be the best versions of themselves. They aren’t jealous of each other’s success. They don’t compete with one another. They build each other up and no one can come between them.
You always know when you are in the presence of a power couple, and if it’s you and your husband – people will naturally be drawn to you and wonder: how do you do it all?
Are you a power couple? Click here to find out.
12. You make each other laugh.
Humor and laughter are powerful tools in a long-term relationship, and you can trust that when they’re present in a marriage, you’re in a good place. At the same time, if no one is having fun or having a laugh, you should really be worried.
Humor alleviates tension, raises creativity, and provides a real energy boost. It can bring you closer to your spouse and form a stronger connection. Humor is that one special thing that smoothes over differences and makes people drop their guard.
13. You can always ask each other for help.
The healthiest relationships between a husband and wife are ones in which both partners aren’t scared to ask for help or admit that they can’t do it all by themselves. If your spouse has more experience or knowledge on a topic, it’s okay to admit that and rely on his support.
14. You share financial goals.
Marriage is tough – and a lot of the difficulties boil down to finances. In fact, studies show that money worries are the leading cause for marriages to fall apart. Make sure you don’t become part of the statistic!
Here’s how to do that:
- Ensure you’re on the same page when it comes to money.
- Talk openly about spending, debt, sharing costs, and saving; no topic should be a taboo.
- Keep some finances shared but always keep some money apart too.
- Talk about pension and where you need to be money wise to be secure in your old age.
- Discuss your attitudes towards money and what you’d like to pass on to your children.
- Agree on any non-negotiables (such as big expenses, borrowing from parents, lending money to friends, dealing with credit card debt, or playing the lottery).
- Discuss job opportunities and pay rises as if they impact both of you (because they do!).
The more comfortable and open a couple is about money, the stronger the relationship.
The Bottom Line
No marriage is perfect, but the above 14 signs of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife are proof that some marriages are a lot more successful than others. It’s the combination of all the above that makes an amazing and long-lasting marriage, rather than those factors in isolation.