Dating and finding a compatible companion is an important part of life for most people.
Human beings thrive off having another person around that they can love, relate to, depend on, and simply spend time with.
Certain religious beliefs can interfere with a person’s ability to enjoy having a boyfriend, and some might wonder if it’s Haram to have a boyfriend.
What is Haram? In Islam, Haram means prohibited. So, is it Haram to have a boyfriend?
Muslims have beliefs that can differ from modern social norms. When it comes to dating, Islamic leaders enforce some very specific rules, and yes, it is Haram to have a boyfriend.
According to the Islamic religion, there is to be no social interaction between boys and girls at all, even if it is completely platonic.
There are no exceptions to this belief, and even if a boy and girl plan to be married, this rule is still strictly enforced.
The Islamic religion believes that if a boy and girl are friends or date prior to marriage then their relationship is cursed.
They also consider dating, even if there is no sex involved, to be adultery, especially on the boyfriend’s part.
They feel that he will be thinking about sex while dating the girl, and just his thoughts are enough to be considered adultery even if he doesn’t act on them.
Why is it Haram to have a boyfriend?
Islamic laws state that dating should only be conducted in order to find someone compatible to marry.
They feel that other cultures date for merely recreational reasons and that marriage may never be intended, which is forbidden in Islam.
Some Muslims are a bit more lenient when it comes to dating, and they feel that as long as the man’s intention is to take the woman he is dating as his wife, then it is alright.
However, even when Islamic laws are more relaxed, adultery continues to be strictly prohibited, as anyone who disobeys this law will be severely punished by Allah on Judgement Day, according to the Quran.
If a young Muslim man and woman are allowed to date, they are only allowed to do so if they are accompanied by family members or specially appointed chaperones.
This is to ensure that no inappropriate behavior occurs such as handholding, kissing, or of course, sex.
Islamic law states that no man is ever alone with a woman, as Satan is also always present, and that Satan will encourage the man and woman to commit forbidden acts that will cause them to become cursed for life.
How do Muslims find spouses if they can’t date?
Since Muslims are not allowed to date, they are often unable to choose their own spouse. Arranged marriage is the most common way that people in Islam marry.
This custom began many years ago and still continues in modern times.
Today, even though most marriages continue to be arranged, the couple ultimately has the last say as to whether they want to marry the other person or not.
Islamic people have strong beliefs regarding ensuring that their choice of a spouse is a good one, so it is often made by the parents.
Most young people do not choose their own spouses, but they do have some say.
If the young person objects to the person their parents have chosen for them to marry, they have the right to reject the person.
Some parents may try to force their kids to marry the person they’ve chosen for them, but it is Haram for a child’s parents to actually force them to marry someone they object to, regardless of the reason.
Islamic law states that a young person has the right to marry someone that they feel attracted to and that they personally feel would be a good spouse.
Many parents will meet with the parents of prospective spouses for their children, and they will get to know the entire family.
If they feel that the family is good, then they will introduce the boy and girl so they can plan to be married.
Again, if the boy and girl date prior to being wed, their family members will accompany them.
There is no physical contact allowed before marriage, no matter how small or how harmless it may seem.
A long dating period is strictly prohibited in Islam, as well, as they feel that the longer the couple dates, even with chaperones and family members present, the more likely they are to be tempted to engage in unlawful behavior.
As soon as it is determined that a couple is compatible, the wedding plans will be made.
In some Islamic cultures, some couples will exchange portfolios that act as a biography in lieu of actually dating.
This is done to prevent a couple from being tempted to disobey Islamic laws while going out on physical dates.
They feel that these portfolios are a great alternative, as it gives the prospective spouse the chance to get to know his or her future spouse without meeting in person.
Punishment for disobeying Islamic laws
Islamic laws state that a person will go to Hell should he or she fail to follow the rules and laws of Islam.
Despite this fact, those who don’t live in Islamic communities don’t always follow the proper rules for dating.
This is especially true if they live in another country, such as the United States, and their parents aren’t around.
Young people in these situations will often conform to the normal dating rituals of that society. However, should their families in Islam find out, they face being disowned.
Even if the young person marries the person they were dating, their parents and leaders believe the marriage will be cursed.
They believe that a demon will follow the couple and bring negativity into the marriage and even to any children the couple may have.
What if a couple discovers they’re not compatible after marriage?
Islamic people have strong views regarding marriage, love, and family. They feel that marriage is sacred.
They frown greatly on divorce, but they will not prevent a couple from seeking a divorce if the couple desires one.
However, Islamic leaders will attempt to help the couple work out their differences so that they can remain married.
However, if after counseling and attempts to keep the couple together fail, divorce is possible.
Divorce is somewhat of a long process in Islam, because so much time is spent trying to help the couple reconcile, and because of arbitration.
Arbitration involves the married couple’s friends and family members acting as mediators in an attempt to prevent the couple from divorcing.
Since family members are very aware of the couple’s strengths and weaknesses, they focus on those attributes as they intervene and try to help the couple to better communicate in a last-ditch effort to keep the couple together.
In many instances, arbitration is successful, but not always. Sometimes a couple is simply too incompatible, and nothing can prevent their inevitable separation.
Every religion has its own specific laws and set of beliefs that its people must abide by.
While Islamic law may seem archaic to others, it works well for Muslims, and as a result, they have longer, happier marriages when compared to many other cultures.
Of course, Islamic people’s marriages sometimes end in divorce like in any other culture, but they feel that their laws prevent divorce from happening as frequently as it does outside Islam.