One of the most painful situations in any relationship is coming to terms with the fact that you don’t have a future together. Despite the love, memories, and the mutual life you’ve built, you just don’t see it going anywhere in the long run.
Maybe he takes you for granted, or is often jealous to the point that its hard to be with him. Perhaps he doesn’t respect your family and friends or is actually abusive. Or, maybe he’s perfectly fine – but you just don’t feel the same way anymore and have become attracted to someone else. Whatever the reason, don’t let a relationship drag out because you don’t have the courage to end it.
Most women stay with men they don’t love (or don’t see a future with) out of fear – fear of being alone, of never finding anyone else, of online dating, etc. They feel ashamed that the relationship has gotten where it has and would do anything to save it – but not every relationship is due a happily ever after.
Read on for 15 clear signs that it’s time to call it quits in a relationship.
1. You don’t have fun anymore
You used to laugh your head off together. Everything he did was just so adorable. You were spontaneous, and planned fun activities all the time. Now the most fun you have is takeout on a Friday night, and you can’t tell what went wrong and when!
You miss the couple you used to be, the places you used to go to and the people you used to hang out with. If you just aren’t having fun anymore then perhaps the relationship has simply reached its end. It’s okay to admit it!
2. You are no longer sexually attracted to him
Remember those days when the mere thought of seeing him gave you butterflies? If the answer is no, then perhaps the relationship has been stagnating for a while. Maybe you don’t make time for intimacy anymore, or maybe you’re just not attracted to him anymore.
You used to think he’s the sexiest man you know. Now, you’re not so sure – and he isn’t putting in any effort to rekindle your feelings for him. How long can you stay with someone who just doesn’t make you feel weak at the knees anymore? Life is too short to be in the wrong relationship.
3. His behavior is dangerous
If you are dating someone who has some dangerous hobbies or addictions, its common to think that it’s not that bad, that you can help him, or that he will change. But what if he doesn’t? What if only a professional can help him, or he doesn’t even want to be helped?
If his behavior feels a little dangerous, then no one will blame you if you call it quits. You don’t have to stay with someone who drinks too much, takes drugs, gambles or is into fast driving. Dangerous and reckless behavior will put a massive pressure on the relationship and make you question everything.
4. He doesn’t meet your needs
Most relationships end because one partner is unsatisfied with the other. If that’s you, then you can talk to your partner about your needs not being met instead of keeping it all inside until you can’t take it anymore.
- Has he started to take you for granted?
- Is he not paying much attention to you after he’s back from work?
- Does he prefer to hang out with his mates over you?
- Do you need to nag him in order to get him to answer a simple question about your life together?
If you feel neglected and no longer happy with him, it’s probably time to call it quits. He can’t say you didn’t warn him!
5. He cheated
He cheated on you, and nothing is the same anymore. There is a huge crack in the relationship which, no matter how much you try to mend, is always there.
It was just that one time, he said. It didn’t mean anything… I only love you, he promised.
You might be desperate to believe him and forget about it, but you know deep down it won’t be just that one time. If he truly loves you and only you, he wouldn’t allow himself to be in a situation where he might cheat. You try and justify his behavior because you love him and the shock and pain of leaving him is too much to deal with.
Unfortunately, the ghost of adultery is always going to be there between the two of you, especially if you know that you need to leave him.
6. He’s abusive
You should never be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you right. Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, from manipulation and constant criticism to verbal, emotional and even physical abuse.
The victim of an abusive partner often stays longer than they should, thinking they did something wrong or that they deserved the abuse. You probably love him so much you can’t even explain to yourself what’s going on. Maybe he’s changed, and you’re constantly treading on eggshells around him.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to leave an abusive relationship and never ever look back. You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and love – and abuse is no sign of love.
7. You want different things
No matter how strong the relationship started out as, if you’re not on the same page about life, whether it’s work related, where you want to live, or what you want to do with the rest of your life, sometimes you just want different things – which might not be the end of the world.
But, wanting polar opposite things, not sure where the relationship even fits in the plan, is a big issue.
8. You are more apart than together
If you’ve found yourself in a relationship with a guy that’s never around, then sooner or later you will start to really feel the pain of his absence. Whether it’s long-distance or he took a job that keeps him mostly in the office, you get the feeling he’s never around.
Making plans is tough because his schedule is always packed. Planning for the future seems pointless. You just want to have a normal relationship and see him more than once every other week, or month! But, you get the feeling that’s the way he is – and the best you can do for your sanity is to simply call it quits.
9. You fight all the time
If your relationship is more about making war than making love, then you really need to take stock. While healthy arguments can be really useful in a relationship, fighting all the time can be a really bad sign that there’s something wrong.
It’s also important to take note of how the fights are like. Do you discuss different opinions while remaining kind and respectful? Or are you both trying to win the argument by outshouting the other one?
A clear sign to call it quits in a relationship is when you feel that all you do is fight, and you don’t enjoy spending time together anymore. You know he will get annoyed by you saying or doing a certain thing, but you don’t even care anymore. You are used to fighting and it’s almost become normalized.
10. You are only with him because of your kids
Now, this is a tough one. No one can tell you to leave your partner, no matter how bad the relationship has become. But you need to ask yourself a few things:
- Would I still be with him if it wasn’t for the children?
- Do I want my children to grow up watching two adults who don’t love each other?
- Are we showcasing them healthy behavior, or is it just damaging in the long term?
Then, you can make your decision! Children aren’t an excuse for you to stay in a miserable partnership or marriage. Once they are grown up enough to tell you that same thing, they will.
11. You are only with him because of religion
So, you married a guy your family approved of, but now things are getting ugly. He isn’t the guy you want to grow old with anymore. You don’t see a happy future together, but you’ve made your vows.
Going against your family as well as his in order to break up the relationship might be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but you should remember that there are many people who do it – and end up having a happier life as a result.
12. You are only with him because you are afraid to be alone
So many women stay in unhappy relationships because they can’t picture a life in which they are single. All you need is a reminder that you don’t need a man in order to be happy.
All the happiness you need is inside of you. Once you realize that a relationship isn’t there to complete you or define you, you will be free to move on from one that isn’t good for you anymore.
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely, but the only way to find that out is by calling it quits.
13. You don’t love him anymore
You may be dating the most perfect guy in the world, but if he isn’t perfect for you, then there’s no reason you should prolong the relationship and confuse matters even more. Yes, perhaps your family loves him, and all your friends think he’s great, but you just aren’t feeling it anymore.
Put your happiness first and call it quits – you will be doing both of you a huge favor in the long run.
14. There’s someone else
If you’ve got your eyes on another guy, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to leave the one you are with. But, you probably know that if you truly loved your current boyfriend, you wouldn’t be in a position to be developing feelings for someone else.
There is something much bigger going on, and you know it!
15. Everything about him annoys you
Now that the initial infatuation has worn off, do you feel annoyed by most of the things he says or does? Perhaps you were never with him for the right reason, and you just liked the idea of a relationship.
If everything about him annoys you and you aren’t even working on figuring out how to fix it, perhaps it’s time to let him go.