They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This is perhaps most true when it comes to what men and women are like in relationships.
Are you wondering whether the guy you like has been in a relationship before and how he might treat you? Then read on our summary of 10 top signs why you might be dealing with a dating newbie.
Men who’ve never been in a relationship need a lot of time, communication and patience from their partners. They might be a little shy and nervous at first, messy and selfish around their place, or just plain confused as to how they should treat a woman. Here’s how to tell if a guy has never had a girlfriend before and what that means for your potential relationship with him.
1. He’s awkward on the first date
There’s a lot you can tell from the way a guy treats you on a first date. Is he mainly talking about himself, or being extra quiet? Is he fidgety and nervous, or very shy and reserved? Is he picking up the check like a gentleman would?
A guy without much dating experience will be a little awkward on a first date, and can exhibit unusual behaviour, so much so it may be a deal breaker for some women!
What it means for you: If you spot the signs of an inexperienced dater that early on, you probably have got a choice to make – stick around to figure out if he’s dating material or move on. It all depends on how much you like the guy!
2. He doesn’t know how to talk about the relationship… or doesn’t even want to
Once you are dating, it may take you some time to get on the same wavelength with your guy. That includes the dreaded DTR-time! Chances are an inexperienced guy won’t be ready to define the relationship, and in some cases, he might not have even realised that you two are dating!
What it means for you: Want commitment from him? Spell it out for him early on and leave little for interpretation. Men are simple beings – better not have him guessing what you mean, so just be straight forward with him.
3. He’s clueless about your needs
An inexperienced guy might be a little clueless about what you need, which is to be expected. Things that are important for you, like going to the cinema, or sharing hobbies together, watching movies, or just uninterrupted cuddle time might make your man scratch his head. Why is he just not getting it? Well, he’s never had to!
What it means for you: Again, communication is key, especially early on in the relationship. You will have to teach him what you really need every single day you are together. And if he doesn’t acknowledge your needs after a while, perhaps it’s time to assume you won’t be the woman changing him.
4. He just can’t take a hint
A guy who’s never had a girlfriend before just tends to miss even the most obvious cues. Perhaps it’s a new dress that you’re wearing, and he doesn’t compliment you? Or you need his help, and he isn’t offering it? Whatever the situation, it will probably be really frustrating for you. Women want men to notice but remember men can’t read minds!
What it means for you: Whatever the cue is that he’s missing – it’s important not to take it personally. Try not to feel rejected or overlooked just because he doesn’t know any different.
Instead, share how you feel when he doesn’t get it, for example, saying something like “When you don’t tell me I am pretty when we go on a date, I feel a little sad”, instead of shouting “You never tell me that I am pretty!”
5. He treats his place like a bachelor pad
Ahh, every guy’s dream – to live in a true bachelor heaven, free of responsibility and order. Are his socks lying around when you come over? Is he using plastic plates to eat his food? There are so many signs you can pick up just by seeing what a guy’s place is like.
Single guys just don’t spend a lot of time creating a cosy place that a girl will feel comfortable in. It’s usually a woman’s role to bring in that special something to a guy’s pad.
What it means for you: If his place or room screams “I’ve been single all my life”, it’s probably time to show him the right ways – even if it means at first doing it for him. A lot of men will actually appreciate a female touch, they just don’t see it the way women do.
However, if he rejects your help or claims it emasculates him, then maybe he’s just not that into you. Don’t waste your time on a man who isn’t ready to date, or ready to change.
6. He’s clueless about feminine things
It’s that time of the month and all you want to do is curl up under a blanket and eat chocolate, but your guy insists on going to see the football game, or is playing on his Xbox super loudly?
If you feel like punching him for being so inconsiderate, it’s probably because he’s never had to deal with it before. Be upfront about the important stuff that comes with having a girlfriend.
A relationship newbie will be clueless as to why you need an hour to get ready before going out, or why sometimes you get so overwhelmed with emotion you just need a good cry, or why texting your girlfriends is priority when there is gossip to discuss.
What it means for you: Again, he will surely build up knowledge with time, but you need to be direct with him. And if he’s got sisters but is still a little clueless, then that’s just plain lazy, so it may be a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
7. He’s a video game addict
Video games take hours… at least that’s the way it seems to women! Chances are a guy who spends hours (and often pulls all-nighters) in front of the screen isn’t dating material. Can you change him? Probably…Will it be hard? Certainly!
What it means for you: If a guy doesn’t know when to stop playing and pay attention to you, it’s time for a big conversation. Setting up some ground rules about your time spent together, versus his time with his hobbies is essential. All of the above being said, if you are into video games yourself, you may have found the right partner. Just make sure you two occasionally leave the house and make time for your relationship too.
8. He’s too needy or not committed at all
A guy who’s never dated before can be a little clingy, meaning that he will want full-on commitment early on in the relationship, or he will say “I love you” way too soon. It can be off-putting, or plain overwhelming for a woman!
On the other side of the spectrum, his inexperience might be due to being a commitment phobe. We all know one or two people, well into their 30s (or even later!), who just never seemed to find anyone to date. If you think you might be dating a commitment phobe, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into.
What it means for you: Whether he’s too eager or not eager enough, he will require patience and effort from your side, in order to get things just right. Finding the right tune in a new relationship takes time.
Setting up boundaries is important, as is ensuring jealousy isn’t a good thing in a relationship.
9. His underwear drawer needs a big overhaul
This is perhaps one of the biggest signs your guy has never had a girlfriend before. If the guy you like is wearing old, saggy, and in many cases – childish printed underwear, that’s a big sign he’s never dated anyone before, or at least not for long!
No self-respecting woman will “allow” a poorly dressed, or should we say undressed man in her life. If that’s the case with your guy, some action will need to be taken. It’s not all doom and gloom, though!
What it means for you: It’s time to Marie Kondo his panty drawer and do it quickly! Quality male underwear is definitely a bit of an investment, so if you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, just wait until the next occasion to surprise him with a multipack.
In between Valentine’s day, his birthday and Christmas, you will have overhauled his underwear drawer within a year or so. And trust that any woman that he dates after you, will be forever grateful to you!
10. All he can make is a boiled egg
Does he strike you to be a newbie in the kitchen? Is he just a little lost with a pan and a spatula? Unless he’s one of those rare guys who grew up with a mother who instilled the love of cooking in him, chances are if he’s never dated before, he’s never cooked much before.
What it means for you: A guy who knows his way around a kitchen can truly sweep a woman off her feet. They say the route to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but the same can definitely be said for a lot of women. It’s a sexy sight to have a guy cook up a storm in the kitchen, just for you. Let him know if that’s the case!
Just like with the fancying up his bachelor pad, the cooking lessons may need to come from you to start with – especially if you are in it for the long haul.
The above signs that a guy has never had a girlfriend before are perhaps the most obvious and they are very easy to spot. And still, a relationship newbie presents a great opportunity for a woman, who’s up for a little dating challenge.
Don’t reject a guy just because he’s inexperienced, we were all once inexperienced, right? If his heart is in the right place, he will have lots of potential to be a great boyfriend to you. Moreover, dating newbies are always a little shy which can be very cute.
Overall, if you are ready to arm yourself with patience, effort and time, before you know it, your guy will be impressing all of your girlfriends. And that’s a proud place to be in!