The term “#relationship goals” seems to have been heavily used as a hashtag in modern culture, gaining an almost cult status. It’s natural to begin to wonder – what’s all the fuss about? Is it just a trendy hashtag, or is there any actual substance or deeper meaning behind it?
A #Relationship Goals couple is one we might admire, who seem to have it all. They’re the couple we wish to emulate, because they seem to embody all the best qualities and the high relationship standard we should be reaching.
Urban Dictionary defines the term as “the best couple out there, the power couple, the one everyone else wants to be like”. But does that couple even exist? Read on to find out.
What Does it Really Mean?
Relationship goals and couple goals are two extremely popular hashtags online. At first glance, it seems so unattainable. How does one find that perfect partner to be #relationshipgoals with?
Take a peek at any of the Instagram photos behind the hashtags, and you’ll quickly see a that they all share one thing in common: they look unbelievably happy. A couple is swinging on a hammock in Bali… a couple is laughing while grocery shopping… another has given up on traditional careers and somehow become digital nomads and traveling the world…
These couples are tanned, rich, and inexplicably good at photography – and in everyone’s eyes, it looks like a dream! The world seems truly obsessed with #relationshipgoals, and how can they not be? Everything about them oozes love, fun and happiness. We want to be just like them!
What many of us fail to acknowledge is that there’s more than what sits behind a social media hashtag. The truth is there is a huge issue with #couplegoals on social media:
- A lot of it isn’t real
- A lot of it is a carefully curated product
- In most cases, these posts are sponsored by big brands.
- It doesn’t always mean what you think it means. It sells a dream – but that’s all!
How to Be #Relationshipgoals
Want to be true #relationshipgoals with your partner? Here’s what it takes in order to get there:
1. Give each other space.
The best couples out there know a little secret that most other couples don’t have a clue about: They’re two individual people – not one. They’re first individuals, then a couple. They know that becoming a single entity is a huge mistake; It’s a trap other couples fall in, thinking that’s the way to be together.
Other couples seem to have morphed into one, living their life from their relationship bubble, always checking with one another about everything, finishing each other’s sentences, and not letting anyone else in.
Do you want to be #relationshipgoals? You need to have some space in the relationship! Like a power couple, you need to achieve things on your own and come together stronger because of it – not the other way around.
A couple should feel comfortable enough in their relationship to be apart, trust one another when separated, and never tolerate or celebrate jealousy.
2. Work for everything you have together.
A couple that’s #relationshipgoals seem to have it all, and they usually do. They work hard so that they can have it all – or, at least, is as much as realistically possible. What seems impossible to other couples, comes easy to them.
They don’t believe in sacrificing one thing in favor of another. They want the romance, the successful careers, the children, the fun, the nice house, the travel -and why shouldn’t they have all of it?
They’ve got the right mindset and the right plan in place to support each other and get where they need to be, both as a union and as individuals.
One thing you can really learn from this couple is how hard they work for the things they want. They know that things don’t come easy, they accept that, and they don’t give up at the first hurdle they encounter.
3. It’s a constant learning process.
Any successful couple out there will tell you that what makes them withstand the test of time and deal with the inevitable difficulties in life is their shared love for learning and growth. There is nothing more powerful than a couple who’s willing to learn, and admit they have so much more to learn.
All true learning is about the ability to change, being ready to abandon old or bad habits, and to embrace a better way of living and being together.
4. Learn each other’s love language.
#Relationshipgoals isn’t achievable unless both partners speak each other’s love language – and there’s a lot of hard work that comes along with it. You need to recognize:
- How they feel loved
- How they want to be loved
- Understanding that you should love them that way, and really make the conscious effort to do it.
It’s about focusing on them, and not on yourself. It’s about giving to them, loving them the way they want to be loved, and not loving them the way you like to feel loved.
For example, if your love language is receiving gifts, you may feel tempted to keep buying things for your partner because it comes natural to you – but you’ll end up disappointed when he doesn’t seem to appreciate them. Perhaps his love language is words of affirmation. He wants your approval, encouragement, affection – and you’re choosing to give him gifts.
It’s important to understand those nuances in order to live and love accordingly.
5. Be the best of friends.
The saying that you should marry your best friend might sound confusing to some, but it’s ever truer when you want to be #couplegoals with your partner.
Ask yourself – how would you treat a friend?
- Would you nag them about the toilet seat?
- Would you be jealous of them when they speak to someone attractive?
- Will you fight with them over the pettiest things?
The couple deserving of the #relationshipgoals label is one in which both partners respect each other and are each other’s biggest fan. They don’t badmouth one another, and they don’t let each other down. They’re best friends, and their friendship is the basis of their union.
It’s easy to spot a couple like this – they act like a team wherever they go and whatever they do, and they’re proud of one another. They hold each other in positive regard, and it’s extremely inspiring for other couples to see.
6. Flirting forever after
#Relationshipgoals means not forgetting who you are as a couple, no matter how long you’ve been together. Make time to flirt with each other, kiss often, show some PDA, and have some fun with each other.
Being stuck in a relationship rut is often a result of forgetting the fun, novelty and excitement of the early days of the relationship. Couples tend to stop making an effort or flirting with each other because they no longer need to impress the other – and that’s so wrong.
They say once the honeymoon phase is over everything changes for the worse – but it doesn’t have to! There’s no one-size-fits-all, rather it all depends on the effort you put into your relationship.
Make sure that you still impress and surprise each other, that you make an effort, and that you don’t let yourself go just because you’re in a long-term relationship. Look good for one another – look your best, as often as you can. Have your eyes set on your partner, and show them you find them attractive and sexy.
Check out some Unique Date Ideas, and keep the spark of your relationship alive.
The Bottom Line
When it comes to #relationshipgoals, you need to be ready to define it for yourself – without a photo or a celebrity couple you admire.
What actually sits behind the term? What does it mean in practice? How is one couple better or different? What are the non-negotiable traits of their partnership that other couples should aspire to have?
It’s important to remember that social media is mainly there to celebrate your highs and hide your lows, so what you see depicted on it is far from the whole truth.
At the core of #relationshipgoals are trust, loyalty, compromise, fun, patience. It’s embracing the other person as a whole, accepting them for who they are, and loving them the way they wish to be loved – and it’s about making their happiness a priority for you, not an afterthought.
#Relationship goals is a real goal to have – and it’s possible to achieve if you’re willing to put in the work.