It happens to the best of us. You find yourself not wanting to think about your crush but begin to fantasize about them almost every second of the day!
You can’t wait to see them again, wondering where they are and what they’re doing. But you begin to wonder, is this creepy?
Am I being obsessive? What if someone likes me the same way? How often do guys think about the girl they like?
You’d be surprised to know that most men have sexual thoughts around 19 times a day, while women only experience them around 10 times a day.
If a guy likes you, chances are you’re in one of these 19 thoughts (give or take).
In addition, independent surveys have also found that men know they’re in love when they only want to think and be around that special someone!
You might think that men are primal animals, thinking about sex almost every single hour of every day.
While that might be true for some men, the reality of the situation is that it’s not that simple.
Men do think about sex many times, but they do not think about it every single second of the day.
In fact, a study reported on by the BBC asked men to self-record their sexual thoughts, which is a method known as experience sampling.
If a man had a sexual fantasy or sexual thought, he would record it and then report it back to the people conducting the study.
Using this method, the scientists found that men reported thinking about sex on average 19 times a day.
However, not all men had the same rate of thinking about sex. For some men, not thinking about sex at all or just once a day was normal.
On the other hand, the top respondent said that he thought about sex around 388 times that day (where has he been all of our life?!).
In any case, this study shows that, yes, not all men think about sex or about the woman they like every hour of every day, with the average many thinking about sex (including with their special someone) about once every waking hour (kudos to those men that dream of that special someone).
Now that you know how many times men think about sex, regardless of whether or not they’re in love, it’s also useful to know how men know that they’re in love and if this has anything to do with the thoughts they experience.
The simple answer to that is: they think about you!
According to an independent survey conducted by Cosmopolitan magazine, men who were currently in relationships admitted that one of the first signs they were in love was thinking about the person they loved.
Two separate men said that they wanted to find ways to think about their significant other, even if they weren’t actively trying to think about her.
Yet another said that he wanted to simply spend time with his significant other.
Reading, sipping on coffee, or even just sitting still were all activities he would prefer to do around that someone else instead of by himself!
While it’s normal for people to crave alone time, the survey shows that yes, men do want to be with the person they love, either through thinking about them or being with them in person.
You know that, on average, men think about sex around once every waking hour.
In addition, men also think about the person they are interested in during their day as well.
Putting it all together, it’s safe to assume that men think about the person they love or are interested in around the same number of times, if not more, that they think about sex during the day (once every waking hour).
However, if you think that someone is interested in you, you don’t have to rely on studies and surveys to tell you.
Nowadays, it’s relatively easy to express yourself to your future partner. Some things you can do to break the ice and truly find out if a guy likes you are:
- Ask them directly. It’s best not to be confrontational about it. But, if you’re flirty and want to really know how they feel, ask them! Some things you can say are, “Do you think about me a lot?” or “I think about you, do you think about me?” These are all subtle ways to know whether or not someone is interested in you.
- Read their body language. Does your love interest always seem to be around when you’re around? Do they lean in close when talking to you? Do they tilt their head or stare at your lips as you talk to them? These are all signs that your partner might be interested in you, and it’s good to know that their body is giving them away (literally).
- Look at their actions. Do they continue to send you texts that are meaningful? We’re not talking about those good morning texts that they might send to 15 other women. Do they ask about your day and ask about how you’re feeling? What about checking up on you if you’ve told them that you’re feeling upset? All of these signs of effort truly show that they are not only thinking about you throughout the day but actively trying to make you a part of their daily routine.
If you’re the guy thinking about the woman you love, you might feel a tad bit creeped out at yourself for thinking about them all the time.
It’s good to know that it’s completely normal to think about someone you are interested in. It’s only natural!
However, it’s best to limit your interactions with the person you like to things they are comfortable with.
For instance, if you think about the person you like and are wondering how their work day is going…don’t visit them at work.
This can be seen as incredibly awkward and creepy! Instead, ask them about how their day at work is going.
Feel free to send them a text message or even give them a quick phone call if they’ve expressed this is okay with them.
Nowadays, you might find it easy to contact someone not just through phone calls or text, but through Snapchat messages, DMs, Facetime, Zoom, and Skype – the choices are literally endless.
Don’t use all of these avenues to contact the woman of your desires. Take a step back and stick to methods of communication you normally use, whether that’s DMs or text messages.
When it comes to thinking about the person you love, there are limits to the number of times it is normal.
There are certain unhealthy behaviors that you need to catch yourself doing, and that you should also look out for in a partner that is trying to date you.
Some unhealthy behaviors that show emotional instability and possible codependency include:
- Someone wants to be with their significant other every second of the day, without letting the other person enjoy alone-time or time with other friends.
- Someone feels that are “unhappy” or “incomplete” unless the other person is around. Contrary to many romantic comedies, these are signs of emotional dependency, or codependency, and are not healthy behaviors at all. These can signal trouble if your loved one or the person you are interested in begins to threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t spend time with them or leave.
- You begin to have other obsessive thoughts about the person. Although it’s normal to have intrusive thoughts every once and again if you feel your thoughts are affecting your mental health or well-being, get help from a trained counselor or therapist.
Men have many signs that they are in love with a woman. These signs can range from playful and flirty, to being downright obsessive!
There is a common midground that is healthy, where men think about women and actively try to be a part of their lives by showing effort and care.
Men who think about women often might just be thinking about their future wife, and you might just be the object of someone’s lifelong affection if someone is constantly thinking about you!
Want to find out a man’s true feelings for you? Ask them!