The pain of getting over someone is sometimes too much to bear. It can be hard to think about life without them, and it’s difficult to move on when you’re still so emotionally invested in the relationship.
If you want your heartbreak to end, there are some things that you need to do – and these 18 tips will help get your mind off of the past and start focusing on a future without him.
1. Accept what happened.
Once we accept that the relationship has ended, any previous hope will eventually fade away. Either accept it now, or put up with months of even more heartache as you wait around for something unlikely to happen at all.
It’s always better to face the truth than live with uncertainty. Remember that they may not have rejected or ghosted you out of a lack of care, but because they were scared and didn’t want more pain in their own life.
2. Work on your self-esteem and be positive.
Before you can move on and be happy, you need to have your self-esteem in check. We all have things about ourselves we don’t like, but at some point you’ve got to learn how not to be so hard on yourself- or else you’ll never feel good enough for anyone.
The secret is learning to love yourself despite your insecurities, which will bring an increase in confidence and happiness as well.
The more you put yourself down, the worse it’ll be. It’s easy for us to focus on what we’re not doing well or why we don’t measure up, but when we shift our focus and only think about the things that make us feel good, then those thoughts become a lot less frequent. Start praising yourself and being proud of the person you are.
Just because the relationship is over, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
3. Surround yourself with family and friends.
Spending time with those close to you will make you forget about your ex. When you’re with people who care about you, it’s easier to feel positive because they know what makes you happy.
They can help remind you of the good things in your life and will be there if anything goes wrong. Spending time with family is a great way to strengthen bonds – not just for yourself, but for everyone else around you.
Consider going on vacation or having them come visit. Aside from spending less time worrying about whether or not your ex is doing something without you, everyone needs an escape now and then! Besides, nothing beats going somewhere beautiful with friends.
4. Hit the gym.
Focusing on your physical well-being can be a great tool to distract you from anything and everything. Lifting weights will get the endorphins flowing, and the results will make you feel so much better about yourself. A great self-esteem booster to try out is exercising naked – you’d be surprised at the benefits and results!
The natural mood-boosting effects of endorphins released when we work out can help us go through tough times, making this a perfect way to get over someone without wanting to get back with them.
5. Set goals for yourself.
Maintain a focus on your goals and what makes you feel productive, whether it’s work related or not. Remind yourself daily that there are so many good things waiting ahead of you.
Put in some hard work towards achieving something meaningful. It might not be a big thing, but set small goals for yourself and achieve them! Accomplishing these tiny tasks will lead to greater things, which could take up more time than you would think.
Not only do achieving your goals distracts from thinking about an ex (or anyone else), it also gives our self-esteem a natural boost in the process.
6. Change your routine.
A regular schedule can really help us feel grounded and content. However, once something changes, like moving or breaking up, our routine will be disrupted – which might lead into some negative feelings about yourself or even make you more depressed than before.
It’s time for change:
- Try out new routines, like going to bed at different times
- Try an unfamiliar food
- Meet new people
- Change the color of your lipstick
These probably seem like small changes, but they’re important ones that will allow you to start fresh again from day one.
7. Stop using social media.
Take a break from social media and all technology for at least 48 hours. This will allow yourself time to think about what you want for your future.
It’s also extremely important to remove your ex from your social media accounts so that you’re not tempted to look at their posts. Stalking an ex’s social media is a common thing to do after a break-up, but make sure you avoid it.
8. Get rid of old photos.
If there’s a photo album that reminds you of him, take it out on the porch and burn it! Watch how quickly those memories disappear into thin air with just one match.
This also includes deleting old pictures on your phone. You might need to go into your phone’s “favorite photos” section to delete some photos. This might be very hard to do, but it’s paramount to moving on – otherwise, you’ll just keep looking at these photos and living in the past.
9. Donate clothes or items they gave you.
It’s time for some spring cleaning! Donate any gifts they’ve given you and anything that reminds you of them. This will allow you to move forward in life without holding onto things from someone who doesn’t want to be a part of your future.
10. Reorganize your living space.
This is a time for fresh starts, so make sure everything is tidy for when you’re ready to meet other people. Make your living space all about you! Fill it with pictures, memories, and other items that represent what you value most in life and what you stand for.
11. Go for walks every day.
Being outdoors every day has been proven beneficial for our mental health. In fact, going for a walk has been shown to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. You don’t have to go on a massive hike – just walk around the block and soak in that sun and fresh air.
12. Meditate for 15 minutes every day.
The key to remove stress is to meditate – and stop over-thinking why things ended. Instead, live in the present moment. Meditation is a great way to start the morning or end the evening, since it relieves any tension we might be carrying throughout the day.
13. Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about.
Volunteering is a great way to get back in touch with who you are and what matters to you, especially when you volunteer for a cause that’s close to your heart.
It can also be a great way of expanding your social circle as well. Volunteering is about helping other people. Not only will it help make them feel better, but it could potentially give you some peace too!
14. Play music, and dance.
Try creating an inspiring playlist that’ll make you feel good inside and out! Playing music has been proven to increase happiness levels and allow one’s thoughts to focus elsewhere than the negative thoughts cluttering them up.
You may want to listen to a few sad songs to release your emotion, but be sure to switch to upbeat songs after a few days. Blast feel-good songs while alone in your bedroom, and dance like no one is watching!
15. Make new friends.
Your ex was likely a friend as well as a lover. Make new friends to make up for the one you’ve just lost. Meet people who share the same beliefs as you do so that you make friends for life, not just someone random who opposes your views and beliefs.
Sometimes we need someone new in our lives to distract us from the pain of being alone, and you may gain extremely loyal friends in the process!
16. Start new hobbies.
Engage yourself in new hobbies, like painting or cooking, with a different group of friends. These can all distract you from thinking about what could have been. Just doing the same things you did when you were with your ex will only lead to you keep thinking about them.
Have you never painted with your ex? Then grab a canvas, head to your local river, and unleash your creativity!
17. Focus on yourself!
Take a long hard look at your life and figure out what you’re unhappy with or what needs to change. Fix it, one step at a time.
This is an important part of the process. If things aren’t where they should be when you start to date again, then the other person will only have the opportunity to break your heart before you know it.
18. Buy yourself a gift.
Gift yourself something you’ve been wanting for a long time, like that amazing pair of shoes or new coat. Sometimes it takes just one little thing to make someone feel better about themselves and remind them they’re worth being happy. Do the same, so that your self-esteem doesn’t suffer when you’re single again!
The Bottom Line
There are plenty of ways to get over someone. Sometimes we just need to move on with our life! While doing these things won’t magically allow you to get over him quickly, it’ll distract you from feeling lonely while teaching you not to depend exclusively on others for your own happiness.
Incorporate these tips into your life, and soon enough, the feelings of love for this person won’t be so apparent anymore. Just be aware that this takes time – it may be a while before you feel like your heart has healed enough to move forward and into new relationships, and that’s okay!
The most important thing to remember when you’re trying to get over someone is that the most important person in your life should be YOU. It’s time for you to put yourself first and focus on what will make you happy.