Do you struggle to know what it is that men want? You want to be a great girlfriend and a great company to be around, but men bewilder you.
You might start to ask yourself questions like:
- Does he like me as more than a friend?
- Is he flirting with me?
- What does he like about me?
The big questions that remain: why do men fall head over heels some women, and not others? What is that special quality some women seem to have that makes them a magnet to all men around? The answer goes way beyond mere looks.
Read on to find out why men are deeply attracted to some women more than others, and learn the 11 things that every man looks for in a woman.
1. He Wants Someone Really Attractive
At the end of the day, every man wants to be deeply attracted to a woman. Being attractive definitely matters, as men are visual beings – and ignoring that won’t get you far.
However, the world is filled with all sorts of men, so you don’t have to look a “certain way” to attract a man. There isn’t a certain image of attractiveness that works on everyone.
What this means is that you should be the most attractive version of who you are, and not some distorted image of yourself or something you think society tells you to be.
When it comes to how you look, you shouldn’t concern yourself with the men that don’t pay attention to you.
Here’s how can you become your most attractive self:
2. Love yourself.
Women tend to focus on what they hate about themselves, and unfortunately, media and society promote this concept. That there isn’t something to fix, and you don’t need to be perfect or look like a filtered Instagram model.
Focus on your best features, because that’s what a man will be attracted to. He won’t be focusing on your flaws, so don’t point them out. Accentuate your best features, and don’t try to conceal your flaws.
3. Wear flattering clothing.
You need to invest in a good wardrobe – not just a bit of money, but time, research and effort.
This includes everything like the right colors for your body type and tone, quality fabrics, and the right shapes and sizes. Clothes should make you feel good about yourself, powerful, sexy and on top of the world.
Most importantly, it should be you wearing a piece of clothing – not the other way around. When a man looks at you in an amazing dress, he should think “What a woman!”, not “What a great dress!”.
4. Look after yourself.
Not just visually – but emotionally, mentally, and physically. You need to put effort towards living a healthy life, exercising, eating right, and looking after your thoughts, mental health, and wellbeing.
A healthy mind in a healthy body is always attractive to men. If you feel great about yourself, you will always attract men’s attention.
5. He Wants a Best Friend
Every man seeks a woman he can ultimately be friends with. What it means in practice, is that he knows he can trust you. He knows you’ll be there for him, no matter what. You won’t judge him, you won’t nag him, and you won’t ask him to change who he is.
Ultimately, he wants someone who will be his biggest fan – always taking his side and having his back.
Men desperately search for someone to share their passions with – as they would with their friends – and not someone who stands in the way of what they enjoy. What he really wants in a woman is for her to recognize his passions, respect his hobbies, and not criticize what he likes.
That woman is definitely a keeper in a man’s eyes. Next time you’re hanging out with a guy you like, ask him about his passions – and really listen to what he tells you. It may tell you a lot there is to know about him.
By being a really good listener, he’ll feel comfortable opening up to you and being vulnerable, which is usually only reserved for friends. He’ll know he can trust you and that you understand him, which is extremely important to him.
6. He Wants a ‘Mom’
This probably sounds controversial, and a lot of women will rebel against the idea of acting as a man’s mom, but hear us out. Men are big babies – and they and their mothers have always had a special bond, for life. Instead of trying to change that, use it to your advantage.
There are a lot of things that he often subconsciously sees in you that ultimately reminds him of his mom, whether it’s the way you talk to him, the way you show your caring side, the way you stop to listen to what he’s got to say, or simply being there, no matter what.
If you can figure out how to treat him in a sense that reminds him of his mom looking after him, you’re onto something.
7. He Wants a Woman With a Sense of Humor
A woman with a cracking sense of humor is always more fun to be around – and any man would tell you that. She’s just way more appealing! A conversation with her goes smoothly, as men feel more relaxed in her company.
Being able to break the ice, to laugh at just about anything, and to banter back and forth is a very attractive trait in a woman.
Being fun and easy to talk to will also attract more male attention – and he might just fall in love with you quickly, just because you can make him laugh, and you are fun to hang out with.
A good sense of humor is always a sign of intelligence, which is also attractive to men. Ultimately, a man wants to stay interested in the woman next to him, and not get bored after a few weeks of dating.
Your way of thinking, your sense of humor, and your charisma can keep a guy in love for life, and will get him to start chasing you.
8. He Wants Someone Who Shares His Dreams
The most long-lasting and passionate connections are between a man and a woman who are headed in the same direction. They’re still individuals, with their own hopes and dreams, but they share a lot in common – and are on the same wavelength about things.
A man might not be attracted to you if he doesn’t feel that you really click, and that’s okay! Attraction and compatibility shouldn’t be forced, but should happen naturally. You should ultimately share the same values and want the same in life.
- Are you on the same page with how you imagine yourselves in 5 to 10 years?
- Are you on the same page about where you’ll live?
- How about post-retirement – are you keen on travelling the world or just settling down in a quiet village?
- What do you spend money on? Are there are any big discrepancies in your respective lifestyles?
Ultimately, he wants a woman that he feels compatible with – not someone he’s constantly questioning. True compatibility is when being with someone just feels easy; it isn’t forced. It’s effortless!
Of course, there are conflicts, misunderstandings, and arguments. Couples fight in a healthy relationship – but as a whole, the connection is just right. A relationship is hard work, but it shouldn’t be a constant fight.
9. He Wants a Woman With Individuality
One of the worst things for any man is when the woman he’s attracted to simply clings to him straight away, and becomes needy. It’s such a turn off for him, because men value their independence and want to be with a woman who values her own.
They don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t seem to have anything going on for her, or is willing to change her life, hobbies and even abandon friends just to be with him.
A man is always more attracted to a woman who’s got her own interests, goals and dreams in life – and works hard to achieve them.
She isn’t fixating on the relationship or being controlling. She’s busy enough to respect his space, and that’s extremely attractive to a man. When a woman has her own life, it’s much easier to have a strong relationship that’s balanced, and works well for both partners.
10. He Wants to Be Accepted the Way He Is
This is a huge deal breaker in many relationships, and one of the things men notice early on about you. Are you trying to change who he really is? It may be subtle, like something you say, a slight dig, or a passive-aggressive comment that sets off alarm bells in his head.
He shouldn’t have to change for the women he’s with, and he certainly doesn’t want to be criticized for his flaws. No one is perfect. An attractive woman is one who cares about the real man standing in front of her.
She doesn’t have an agenda, and she isn’t playing a game to get him to be someone she wants him to be. She’s happy with who he is now and isn’t questioning his potential.
11. He Wants Someone Who’s Good in Bed
Let’s not fool ourselves: before a guy commits to you, he wants to feel a great sexual connection with you – and you probably want just the same! You don’t want to be stuck with someone who isn’t exciting in bed, and neither does he!
He’ll be watching for signs of how fun you are in bed by how you carry yourself, how you dress, and how/if you flirt.
The Bottom Line
If you’re looking for signs that he’s interested in you, check out our guide to the 12 Sure-fire Signs that Men Find You Attractive.
There are 12 Things Nobody Tells You About Men, so it’s important to learn more about how men really are before jumping into the dating game to find your special someone.