No couple has a perfect sex life throughout their entire relationship, and many experience a number of sexual problems. These sexual problems could include anything from erectile dysfunction to vaginismus and anything in-between, and many intimacy-related problems can lead to sexual frustration. So, what is sexual frustration?
Sexual frustration is when a person begins experiencing anxiety or increased stress after going for an extended period of time either without having sex at all or failing to derive satisfaction from the sex that is being engaged in. This can cause a person to be on edge and frequently in a state of agitation.
Some sexually frustrated individuals are in a constant state of sexual arousal but are unable to relieve that arousal. Many sexually frustrated individuals try to relieve their frustration through masturbation, yet many only increase their level of frustration when they’re unable to achieve orgasm.
Those experiencing sexual frustration don’t necessarily have higher than normal sex drives, as even those with low and normal sex drives can experience sexual frustration.
Issues leading to sexual frustration
Sexual incompatibility is often the cause of sexual frustration. Many people automatically believe that the male in a traditional heterosexual relationship desires more sex than the female, but this isn’t always true.
Many women have a higher sex drive than their partners. Sexual incompatibility can lead to feelings of rejection, cause arguments, and, of course, lead to sexual frustration.
Stress is another cause of sexual frustration. Maybe a married couple used to have regular sex but now that they both work full-time and parent several kids, they may be in a state of chronic stress, which causes them to refrain from having sex.
While it would seem like an easy fix for such a couple to simply make love and relieve the anxiety, it’s not always that easy. Sometimes couples work opposite shifts or they’re simply too exhausted at the end of a busy day to engage in romantic activities.
There are many other issues that can lead to sexual frustration as well. Sometimes, a person is simply bored with having sex in the same positions. They may want to try something new but find that their partner isn’t interested. Illness, religious beliefs, pregnancy, and more can also cause a partner to experience sexual frustration because they are unable to experience sexual satisfaction.
How sexual frustration can affect a marriage
Sexual frustration can severely damage a marriage by causing communication problems, arguing, and more. A spouse may not understand why their spouse won’t engage in sex more often.
The sexually frustrated spouse may become distant, refuse to be intimate with their partner in non-sexual ways, and may begin flirting with other people.
If sexual frustration isn’t relieved, it can break up a marriage, especially if there are other problems in the marriage already. The only way to fix things is if both parties recognize there is a problem and work together to come up with a solution.
Are sexually frustrated people more likely to cheat?
Sexually frustrated individuals may be more likely to cheat, but it all depends on the specific person as well as the reason why they’re sexually frustrated.
Not all sexually frustrated people are in relationships, so there is no significant other to cheat on in such a case. However, when a person suffering from sexual frustration is in a committed relationship, the chances of infidelity increase substantially.
If a person is experiencing an ongoing heightened state of arousal that masturbation has been unable to remedy and is enticed by another woman or man, then there is a high likelihood of cheating. This is one reason why sexual problems can be so detrimental to a marriage or other types of committed relationships.
Masturbation to manage sexual frustration
Some people may be able to manage their sexual frustration by masturbating, but again, masturbation doesn’t relieve the anxiety in every sexually frustrated person.
The most effective way to manage sexual frustration is to get to the root cause of the problem. But until the person is able to address the underlying cause, looking for better ways to masturbate can certainly take the edge off.
If you’re unable to reach orgasm, perhaps the addition of porn or sex toys could help you. Experiment with different ways to pleasure yourself, and you’ll likely find a way to climax soon and relieve a great deal of that anxiety and frustration you’ve been experiencing.
Special situations require special measures to manage the underlying issue
For instance, if a man’s wife was raped, she may have been unable to be intimate with her husband for an extended period of time.
While the husband is likely to understand and sympathize with his wife, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s very sexually frustrated because he’s used to having sex with his wife.
The only way to fix the root cause of his frustration is for the couple to undergo couple’s therapy so they will be able to eventually resume a healthy sexual relationship.
Reconnecting with your significant other
Sometimes, a person may not be exactly sure why they’re sexually frustrated or unfulfilled. Oftentimes, life has simply gotten in the way and temporarily extinguished a couple’s flame.
Luckily, the sparks can be reignited if the couple is motivated to make things work. Perhaps they could plan a vacation to a romantic destination for a week, which is a very effective way to reconnect and manage sexual frustration.
It’s not always realistic to go on vacation, however, as much as most couples would like to. But that doesn’t mean that a couple can’t work on their intimacy issues so that both parties are satisfied.
It is important that the couple finds time to sit down and discuss how they feel. The sexually frustrated spouse needs to honestly communicate how and why they’re feeling the way they are.
It is important to speak calmly and not to place blame on the other spouse, as this only causes arguing and more problems. Perhaps the couple could compromise or even schedule a regular date night so they both know when they’re going to be having sex in advance.
Physical activity to relieve frustration
Physical activity is an excellent way to relieve sexual frustration. Running, working out at the gym, or even using a punching bag can take your mind off how sexually frustrated you are. Taking a leisurely walk in a park, or on an indoor track if the weather doesn’t permit walking outdoors, can also work wonders for managing sexual frustration.
Meditation is another great way to relieve sexual frustration. You don’t have to be an experienced Buddhist monk or lifelong yogi to effectively meditate. There are a number of free guided meditation videos online that can help you to effectively relax and release all your pent-up sexual frustration.
If you’re not successful with your first or second try, don’t give up. Make sure you’re in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Many people find that using headphones to listen to guided meditations is a great way to block out noises from inside or outside your house.
Sexual frustration is a common problem that many couples experience at one time or another. While sexual frustration can lead to a breakup, it doesn’t have to. As long as those in the couple still love each other and are willing to take the time to work on their problems, they can effectively repair the relationship and rid the partner of his or her sexual frustration.