Have you ever wanted to book the entire cinema hall so that you could watch your favorite movie without any distractions? Have you ever wanted to drive past a long, empty road, your favorite music blasting, and no one to question it? Is your idea of a great day sitting at home alone in your pajamas and watching your favorite crime documentary?
If you said yes to any of those questions, chances are you’re destined to be alone.
It’s Okay to Want to Be Alone… Sometimes
Sometimes being alone is a blessing. It’s a great way to get away from all that noise. You can take the time out to be with yourself. You can meditate and groom yourself. You can binge-watch your favorite TV show or even read a book.
The Difference Between Being Alone and Lonely
Being alone means being away from people or company—such as the moments when you decide to stay back at home and relax, not wanting to have another soul in the room you are in.
Being lonely is a different kettle of fish. Loneliness is the feeling when you’re in a room full of people, but you still feel absolutely alone. When everyone else is enjoying themselves, you’re the only person nobody is talking to. You’re not being welcomed or paid attention to.
Signs You Enjoy Being Alone
Some people just want to be alone for the simple reason that they’re introverts. These people have short socializing spans and get tired of sitting amongst people after a while. This doesn’t mean that they hate people; they just seek less social interaction than others.
There are a few traits common to people who like to be alone. Here are seven signs you just enjoy being alone:
– You Aren’t Glued to Your Social Media
Many lonely hearts find social media interactions exhausting. Most of them limit themselves to using only one or two social media sites at best.
If it’s been three days or more since you last checked who followed you on Instagram, there is a good chance you don’t care about social media at all.
You might have also heard your friends say that you should post more because weeks go by before you see they’ve tagged you in something. The worst part is that you don’t even mind this arrangement.
– You Like Staying in More Than Going Out
This one is an obvious addition to the list. While the occasional night in is therapeutic, a forever-alone type of person just doesn’t want to go out.
You get exhausted by the idea of getting up or getting dressed. You want to plop yourself down with a good book and a glass of wine. You’re okay with being alone.
– You Don’t Enjoy Anybody’s Company
Another surefire sign that you’re destined to be alone is that you don’t enjoy anybody’s company. You have been on a couple of dates, especially a couple of blind ones, but you’ve always wanted to run out the door before your date even arrived.
While it may partly be because you are a bundle of nerves or just anxious; however, there might be a chance you didn’t really want to meet them.
You are often wracked by the realization that nobody understands you. It might also be true that those who do understand you fail to like you.
– Social Interactions Are Exhausting
Even if by some miracle you do go out: you don’t like it. The people are pretentious, or downright awful, or even just lame. Of course, some people are terrible, but that can’t be true about everyone. Or can it?
If social interactions sound like a chore to you, there might be the possibility that they weren’t meant for you.
– Netflix Is Your One True Love
If your Netflix suggestions know you better than any human being you know, there’s a huge probability that you meant to be alone.
There might also be a chance that you just like it that way. It may also mean that you like to enjoy the fact that your Netflix account is the only being—real or automated, who knows the real you.
– You Always Have Your Headphones In
The angsty teen in you might have put your headphones to shut the world out. The angsty adult in you is no exception.
You do not like being talked to, especially when it’s a friendly stranger who does the talking. You would rather appear rude than speak to a random stranger on the subway, bus, or gym.
We know that sometimes you put your headphones in even when you’re not listening to anything. That’s not good.
– You Are Relieved When a Plan Falls Through
This sign just had to be there. Have you ever said yes to a plan a very pushy friend made and immediately regretted it? You prayed to a God you don’t talk too much and asked Him to cancel it?
And the miracle happens. The plan actually does gets canceled. Instead of feeling disappointed that you can’t meet your friends, you feel relieved. Chances are: you’re a loner.
Signs You’re Destined to Be Alone
While being lonely is a comfortable zone for some introverts, some signs indicate that you hate social interactions completely.
These warning signs should not be taken lightly. If you see any signs here that remind you of yourself, there is a good chance that you’re destined to be alone forever.
1. You Always Want to Go Back Home
You’ve finally agreed to go out with your friends for drinks. But as soon as you reached the bar, you felt drained. You found the music to be too loud, the people too obnoxious, and the conversations too dull. You wanted to go back home immediately.
If every single time you go out and want to return home, there’s a good chance socializing just isn’t your cup of tea.
2. You Don’t Like Giving or Receiving Gifts
Some people love giving gifts. It’s their love language. They adore the idea of buying something special and wrapping it in love and lace. If you find the idea of giving gifts horrifying, it’s likely that you’re not one of those people.
You find it hard to remember what anybody likes. In fact, you might just be the “generic” gift-giver in your social circle who gives coupons and socks as gifts.
3. You Like Yourself Best
When working with a team of people, you always think that you have the best ideas. When you’re out with a group of friends, you don’t like what they’ve ordered. When you’re out on a date, you can’t seem to agree with anything they are saying.
Simply put, you like yourself best. And not in a fun, self-loving way. This behavior is making you sound like a pompous narcissist.
4. You Struggle With Empathy
If you’re the sort of person who skips a PETA ad and groans when they see a change.org petition before you scroll past it, you might have trouble with empathy.
Empathetic people can feel other people’s pain. If you can’t shed a tear even when you’re watching The Art Of Racing In The Rain, you’re in trouble, my friend.
5. You Doubt Everyone Who Tells You They Like You
Here’s a situation you might have been in a few times in your life. You meet a person at a bar, and instantly you both hit it off. Drinks and jokes are flowing, and you’re having a good time for once.
They smile at you and say, “Hey, I like you.” Your mind races to one conclusion: they probably say that to everyone. Or better yet, they’re only saying that to get you into bed.
Sounds familiar? If you said yes, there might be trouble lurking around the corner.
6. You Avoid Mirrors
You’ve battled with body dysmorphia and a poor body image for as long as you can remember. While you have received countless reassurances, you just don’t see yourself as desirable or attractive to anyone by any stretch of the imagination.
Because of this, you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. Not just your dressing table mirror. You avoid looking at your reflection in shop windows and the occasional puddles. You’re also not big on taking pictures of yourself.
These are incredible signs you might be someone who is destined to be alone forever.
7. You Think Everyone Is Stupid
While it is true that social media has exposed all of the baseless preconceptions and opinions people have, it’s also true that not everyone is stupid.
However, a person who finds every opinion to be wrong might actually have a deeper problem.
8. Your Contact List Is Getting Shorter Everyday
While most of us don’t have our phones blowing up every second of every day, we do have some close friends we talk to every couple of days. However, your phone’s almost always silent. In fact, it’s been a couple of days since your phone buzzed with a call or text from a loved one.
And if your phone ever does ring, it’s an ad or a text from a service provider.
If you can relate, there’s a good chance that you need to reevaluate your choices.
9. You Hold Grudges
Of course, the average person does hold a couple or two grudges throughout their lives. This might be against a person who cheated or robbed you or even someone who hurt you or a loved one.
However, certain people find a way to hate everyone. And not just their friends, coworkers, or relatives. These are people who will hate the traffic officer and the guy who crossed the street incorrectly. These grudges are deep and vindictive for no apparent reason.
Sounds like someone you know? We hope it’s not you.
10. Couples Exhaust You
Seeing happy, lovey-dovey couples, especially when you’re single or experiencing a bad breakup, can be tough. And let’s be honest, we’ve all comforted ourselves on a lonely Valentine’s day with Chinese takeout and a bad romantic comedy.
However, some people hold actual grudges against people in relationships. These people accuse couples of being co-dependent and cringe-worthy.
If you are one such person, you need to rethink your priorities.
How to Cope With Feeling Lonely?
We all love the occasional night in. However, it can feel incredibly lonely if we do it all the time. Not seeking company and isolating yourself may also be a sign of depression. This could have dire consequences on your physical and mental health.
Here are some ways how you can cope with feelings of loneliness:
Create Meaningful Friendships
No matter what age, gender, or facet of life you belong to, you need friends to help you live a fulfilling life. No one expects you to have a posse of friends always around you.
However, a couple of meaningful friendships can make you feel welcome and loved.
One major reason why people seek loneliness is that they are too afraid to ask for company. They usually pretend not to like people because they are worried they might not be liked back.
This can be a toxic place to be. Try seeing yourself in a more positive light. People will like you when you like yourself.
Start Seeing a Therapist
Prolonged states of loneliness can be indicative of anxiety or depression. It is best not to self-medicate. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather one of strength. It means you’re getting help.
Give Strangers a Chance
You meet strangers every day on your everyday commute, your daily jog, and even when you go grocery shopping. Wear a smile on your face that makes people feel you’re interested in being talked to.
Strike a conversation with a stranger. That’s how people become friends.
Social Media Might Be the Answer
So many people have met incredible people online. Some people who first interacted with one another over a social media post even got married.
Create and use your social media account to rekindle old friendships. Like and subscribe to accounts that pique your interest.
It’s okay to be comfortable with your own company. It’s also okay to take breaks when you want to be left alone.
But pushing people away is not a good sign, especially if these people love you sincerely. If you are struggling with loneliness, talking to trusted loved ones or a therapist can help.