When it comes to different religions, there are many things that people aren’t familiar with, especially when it comes to Islam and its strict beliefs.
If you’ve been studying what’s haram and what’s not haram, you might have a great number of questions.
For instance, you might wonder if it’s haram for a person to have a crush.
Haram means something that is prohibited in Islam, so if you’re wondering if it’s haram to have a crush, then the answer is no, it isn’t haram to have a crush.
It’s the things that having a crush leads to that are haram, such as thinking about kissing and having sex.
If a person simply has a crush on someone and doesn’t act on those feelings, then it is completely normal and acceptable, even in Islam.
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Are Islamic people allowed to date?
Strict Islamic communities do not allow dating prior to marriage, which might lead many people to wonder how a couple gets to know each other before deciding to marry.
Many Islamic communities still practice arranged marriages, and while the parents will decide who their children marry, the children do have the right to reject their parents’ choice.
However, if the children decide to choose their own mates, then they need to go on “group dates,” which entails one or more chaperones going with the couple to prevent the occurrence of any “inappropriate” behavior.
Do some Islamic couples wait until after they’re married to date?
Yes, it’s not uncommon for some couples from stricter Islamic backgrounds to wait until after they’re married before they begin dating.
While in many other religions, dating after marriage might seem backward and ridiculous, in Islam, it’s viewed as being a more acceptable way to date.
Since dating and engaging in kissing and other prohibited activities prior to marriage are frowned upon, once a couple marries, they can do anything that they desire on their dates and not be considered sinners.
Muslims dating outside their religion
Muslims are people just like anyone else, and they sometimes find themselves falling in love with someone of another race and/or religion.
This can be problematic, especially for Muslims who come from very strict upbringings.
However, although it is frowned upon, many Muslims have dated and even married outside their race/religion and had successful marriages.
What if those in Islamic communities fail to follow certain rules?
If a person living in an Islamic community fails to adhere to the specific rules, then that person is likely to be ostracized and would no longer be welcome to live in the community.
The person’s parents would likely disown them, and they would be shunned until they finally relocate to another community.
However, not all Islamic communities follow strict rules, and in some communities, there could be little to no consequences.
What are Muslim weddings like?
Everyone at Muslim weddings will be dressed modestly and respectfully since Islamic weddings are typically held in churches (mosques,) where people pray on a regular basis.
Men and women are usually separated at weddings and receptions because mingling between the different sexes is strictly frowned upon.
Islamic weddings are quite short, and guests must remove their shoes before entering the mosque.
Infidelity in Islam
Infidelity is forbidden in Islam, and while this is true, the Muslim “bible” does not dictate any consequences for such behaviors.
There are no stated consequences for sinners, or cheaters, in the Qur’an
However, in most Islamic communities, infidelity is strongly forbidden, and individuals having committed adultery are looked upon as having committed the most heinous sin.
What is the average age that couples get married in Muslim communities?
Many Muslim communities believe in marrying as soon as a person reaches adulthood, which is often the same as the age of consent in Islam.
While this age is typically 12, there are some Muslim communities in which this age is different, and it can be as young as 9 years old or even as old as age 15.
If a girl gets married at the age of 9, the marriage is often not consummated until she reaches the age of 12 and has gone through puberty.
Benefits of arranged marriages in Islam
It has been a custom for centuries for marriages to be arranged by parents. In many cases, it has been proven to be very beneficial to arrange marriages.
Not only are these marriages more likely to be successful and lasting, but the husband and wife are often a lot more compatible.
If a spouse dies, is it haram to remarry?
Islamic laws believe in marriage and companionship, and those of the Muslim religion are allowed to remarry if a spouse were to die.
Men can marry again as soon after the death as they can find a suitable mate, while women must wait four months and ten days before they can remarry after their husband dies.
Are Muslims generally happy despite all the strict rules?
For the most part, most Islamic people are happy with their lives, despite the strict rules.
Muslims make the choice to continue to remain in these communities. If they don’t agree with the rules, they can leave anytime they desire as they aren’t forced to live there.
There have been some Islamic individuals who have decided to rebel against the strict rules, and they were eventually asked to leave the community or opted to leave on their own.
Muslim men and multiple wives
While not all Islamic societies allow it, some Muslim men are permitted to have as many wives as they can afford to comfortably care for.
Women are not allowed to have multiple husbands, and if they’re in a marriage with a man who has multiple wives, they are expected to honor and obey their husbands regardless of any jealous feelings.
In fact, Muslim women are not supposed to show any jealousy because their husbands may have multiple wives, as they’re taught to love everyone, and that jealousy is a sin.
Sex is a ritual for Muslim men
Before a Muslim man has sexual intercourse with his wife, he is required to read a prayer.
The intention of this prayer is to protect the child that could potentially be conceived from their union.
Ablution must also be performed before intercourse, which is the act of taking his wet hands and wiping them over his face and head, and dry hands can be used if access to water is not possible at the time.
Other dating and marriage rituals in Islam
There are certain times when a Muslim man must not engage in sexual intercourse with his wife, and this includes the first, middle, and last nights of the lunar month, and Friday afternoon or Friday night is the most preferred time at which to engage in intercourse.
Furthermore, a married couple must clean their genitals with soap and water after intercourse, even if they plan to have sex again on that same day or night.
Is sex other than traditional intercourse prohibited in Islam?
Yes, while a married couple is permitted to engage in sex in as many different positions as they desire, oral and anal sex are strictly prohibited.
Do couples still engage in these prohibited forms of sex?
Sure, there are many couples that do so behind closed doors, but some couples’ beliefs about Allah are so strong that they will refrain from defying Allah because they feel that he’s watching them at all times.
Is it permissible for married Islamic couples to divorce?
It is permissible for married Islamic couples to divorce, but only as an absolute last resort.
It is often recommended that couples undergo marriage counseling through the church before beginning the divorce process, which church leaders believe can be very helpful in enabling couples to remain married.
Sometimes intervention from family members is another effective way to prevent divorce because no one knows the couple as their families do, and they can sometimes act as mediators to help the couple communicate more thoroughly.
While many people from other societies might look at Islamic communities as having strange and outrageous rules, they’re not outrageous to Muslims, and many of them take their beliefs very seriously.
So, even though it’s haram to have a crush, it isn’t haram for a person in an Islamic community to act on a crush.
Even if the person desires to merely court the crush, it is often prohibited, unless others join in on the dates as chaperones.
