You feel like your boyfriend is cheating on you. Maybe you’ve even discovered some things that back up your suspicions. However, sometimes people are so preoccupied with their own worries that they miss what’s really going on entirely.
Don’t be like this.
Constantly worrying about a partner cheating on you can lead to overthinking, delusions, jealous behavior, and eventually, the end of your relationship.
How to stop thinking your boyfriend is cheating
1. Take good care of yourself
There are a few practical things you can do to combat paranoia. The best option is to consume a healthy, well-balanced diet. Caffeine consumption should also be limited, as it has been linked to an increase in anxiety in some people – and anxiety leads to an increase in paranoia.
It’s also critical to have a decent night’s sleep. Attempt to get seven to eight hours of sleep each night. If you don’t get enough sleep, your paranoia will certainly get worse over time. Make sure you go to bed at a respectable hour to avoid disrupting your daily routine.
2. Believe in your love for him
Stop feeding your need for reassurance all of the time. Reassurance can take numerous forms, ranging from wanting to check your partner’s emails for suspicious messages to making persistent verbal requests that your partner show their love more frequently.
This type of comfort can become a dangerous addiction. You should replace it with confidence. Remind yourself that you are deserving of love and that your partner has no reason to abandon you. These self-assured remarks may become a self-fulfilling prophecy, increasing your partner’s desire to stay with you and your comfort in the relationship.
3. Accept that you have no control over the outcome
No matter how much you worry, you can never completely prevent your lover from cheating. You might ask for their social media passwords, and they may even give them to you, but there may come a time when they stop loving you as much as they do now.
The best thing to do to overcome this fear of infidelity is to understand that life is unpredictable, and you can’t control every aspect of it.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to be oblivious or gullible if you find out your partner is cheating on you. This just means that you need to stop worrying about things that might happen and know that there are some things you just can’t control.
4. Keep busy
When emotions become overpowering and uncomfortable, they can influence every aspect of a person’s life. People who are constantly in the throes of passionate thinking become less active and don’t feel motivated to complete even the most mundane of tasks because their thoughts are distracting them.
To not constantly obsess over the possibility that your boyfriend is cheating on you, you need to keep yourself busy and distract yourself from these obsessive thoughts as much as possible.
Doing something you enjoy can keep your thoughts occupied and allow you to appreciate other areas of life beyond the relationship. For some, this may entail preparing a delicious dinner or going for a walk. Others may find solace in writing in a journal or taking a long, hot bath.
5. Seek assistance
One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with paranoia is the strain it places on your partner and your relationship. Seeking advice from family and friends, as well as a therapist, can help you express your anxieties without making your partner feel guilty.
Your mental health and well-being are crucial and prioritizing them can help you move forward healthily. So, if you feel at risk, don’t hesitate to go to a therapist. They can teach you how to deal with problematic ideas and feelings as they arise as well as how to avoid emotional outbursts.
6. Don’t check their phone or email
Don’t peek at your partner’s phone. There’s a good chance you’ll find something to be concerned about. This isn’t because they are unfaithful – it’s because you are so primed to find something fishy.
If you don’t discover anything odd, there is a good chance your brain will just invent something. Maybe you’ll find it odd that his phone is too clean. You need to trust your partner and give them the freedom to do whatever they want on their phone.
If you are sure they love you, you have no reason to worry about what they do on their phone all day – even if they don’t share it with you.
7. Be more intimate with your partner (and more often)
If you’re married (or in a sexual relationship), make an effort to be regularly intimate. If there is a shortage of intimacy, people may seek it elsewhere.
Be available and willing to engage in fun, stress-free sexual activities that will keep the spark in the relationship alive. This will keep your partner from trying to find intimacy with someone else.
If your significant other has a stronger libido than you or likes different things in bed, you should talk about ways for you both to be happy in your relationship. It’s important to consider that neither person can change completely for the other person, so it’s better to meet each other halfway.
8. Look as attractive as possible
You’ll be less worried about your significant other cheating on you with someone more beautiful if you know you are also beautiful yourself.
Ask your boyfriend what he likes in women and what he likes in you. Try to embody that and show your boyfriend just how good you can look. This doesn’t mean that you constantly fret over your looks. It just means that you should look presentable and clean whenever he meets you, so he feels naturally drawn to you all the time.
Plus, also understand that the most attractive quality in a person is how kind and soft-hearted they are. Don’t focus on your outward appearance so much that you forget how to be a beautiful person on the inside.
9. Rethink just how valid your fears are
Any couple will benefit from discussing things openly and often. But in some cases, this is not an option. Confronting your spouse with accusations of adultery almost always results in conflict that only aggravates the issue.
So, first and foremost, give yourself some alone time to consider the situation. Look through your partner’s social media accounts for any indications that they are cheating on you.
Look for any firm clues, such as a comment, a photo, or even a unique post. But be careful not to let this process go on too long because it could turn into an obsession.
There is a good chance that you will find no evidence to validate your fears.
10. Approach the subject politely
If nothing else helps, tell your boyfriend that you are afraid of losing him and that the thought that you might not be enough for him keeps plaguing your mind.
Try to keep your tone polite and loving, and do not get defensive or offensive if he gets upset. Also, don’t use an accusatory tone – it might drive your boyfriend away. Confess to him where you think this insecurity comes from and ask him to help you trust him more.
11. Spend more quality time with your boyfriend
Sometimes, because we are away from someone, we start wondering what that person is doing in our absence. Maybe you are constantly thinking about your partner cheating on you because he is away and that is making your imagination run wild.
Take your partner out on a classy date and make sure you have plenty of laughs. Behave as if you both are children or best friends. Try to do things that you love doing and ignore everything else, shifting the focus back on one another.
12. Understand the toll it’s taking on you
If your partner ends up cheating on you, understand that there is nothing you could have done to prevent it and it was not your fault. It says more about them than it does about you.
Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you. Instead, create coping mechanisms that will help you deal with such a scenario if it ever occurs.
Why am I worried my partner will cheat on me?
Falling in love tests us in unexpected ways. The more we value another person, the more we worry about losing them to someone else. We grow worried about getting hurt in the process of loving them. Plus, let’s be honest: we all have a fear of intimacy.
But it’s not just the things that happen between a couple that leads them to worry that their partner is cheating on them. It’s also the way we perceive the world and what our history has taught us.
We become sidetracked from truly connecting with our partner when we get lost in our heads, focused on these worrisome thoughts. We may begin to act out in negative ways, such as making snide remarks or acting juvenile or unnecessarily suspicious toward our partner.
We start overanalyzing their every move, wondering what will give them away and which one of their actions is an indication of guilt.
Most of our fears about infidelity come from a place of insecurity or mistrust. This could be because you have had a partner who was dismissive about his flirtatious encounters with other people while being with you. Or maybe you have had past relationships where you caught the other person cheating and lying about it, and now you struggle to trust your new partner, no matter how nice they are.
What’s the difference between suspicion and paranoia?
Paranoia is characterized by high levels of dread and terror. Coping with obsessive thoughts can be overwhelming for those who suffer from paranoia.
While most people have nervous thoughts now and again, paranoia can generate chronic intrusive thoughts that feel impossible to overcome. It can also have an impact on a person’s conduct and how they respond to stressful situations.
People who suffer from paranoia can become angry or violent and have trouble trusting their partners and navigating their emotions.
Suspicion triggered by a shift in your partner’s behavior is not the same as paranoia. This shift can be alarming if your partner seems distant or if their actions have changed significantly. When someone is cheating, they may get defensive or withdraw from their relationship.
It’s critical to let your partner know what you’re feeling. You may think they’re cheating when they’re actually not. Their behavior could be the result of a variety of factors other than cheating.
While there are many strategies you can employ to stop worrying about the possibility of your partner cheating, the effectiveness varies from person to person.
Instead of constantly fighting and driving the person you love away, gather some courage, and face your fears about your relationship.
Keep in mind that more often than not, your suspicions and anxieties are not rooted in reality.