After moving in together, it’s easy to fall into a routine and see your partner as more of a roommate than a significant other. However, if romance takes a backseat, so does your affection for your partner.
This pattern of disinterest can soon make you take the entire relationship for granted. If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut or if you think your relationship is in danger of becoming dull and stagnant, take these steps to maintain a stable and stimulating relationship.
1. Split the Household Chores
Of course, you’re together – and you might be messy together – but it’s not one person’s job to clean up the entire mess. Make sure you have a chart that designates what each of you will do.
An excellent way to split the chores is in order of preference. If you like ironing clothes and your boyfriend doesn’t mind doing the dishes, you can just split the chores accordingly.
2. Plan Mini-Vacations
Taking tiny, little breaks from the monotony of everyday life can keep the romance alive – and can honestly also keep you sane.
Have a small travel-sized bag packed and head to the nearest beach house available or rent a cottage nearby and take time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
3. Keep Up Appearances
Maintain yourself by having a healthy routine that includes waxing, shaving, getting mani pedis, and whatever else makes you feel like your best self.
4. Nobody Expects You to Be Perfect
If you’re putting in an extra effort in showing him how effortlessly gorgeous you are, kudos to you – but the routine of waking up early and putting on makeup will soon get exhausting if it already hasn’t.
You don’t need to look perfect every day! Let him see you at your best… and at your worst.
5. Keep the Sex Life Alive
When you see your boyfriend as a roomie, the appetite for sex is, well, low. He isn’t looking his most attractive, and neither are you. However, you need to work on this aspect of your relationship. After all, why move in together at all if you can’t have an absolutely crazy night whenever you want to.
6. Have an Entertainment Routine
A fun option to spend time together would be Netflix and Chill. Find a show both of you love, and enjoy it together. Just make sure to never watch a new episode while he’s away.
7. Make Him Feel Like a Hero
If he’s a typical man, he would love feeling like he’s a strong savior. Make his Marvel hero fantasies come true, and have him open jar lids or lift heavy things. Whatever it is, don’t forget to compliment his muscles; that always seems to get most men going.
8. Get Your Freak On
Now’s the best time to buy that set of lingerie that he’s been begging you to wear for the longest time. Wear it and surprise him when he comes home from work.
9. Have a Dance Party
The two of you might be crazy, maddening, loud, joyful, funny, and melodramatic enough to have an entire reality show revolving around you.
You can do incredible things even without the cameras. Make a playlist of all your favorite songs, ask him to dance right in your living room, and have a blast!
10. Go On Conventional Dates
Not everything needs to be boring and informal when you guys move in together. To keep the romance alive, try and go on dates that are typically conventional. Dress to impress in your elegant black dress and him in a suit. Go to a fancy restaurant that serves terribly small servings for extraordinarily high prices, and enjoy each other’s company for a while.
11. Spend Time With Your Friends
Just because you’re together doesn’t mean you have to spend all hours together. In fact, being together too much can actually make you tired of each other, leading to short tempers, bickering, and fights – and who wants that?
Plan a night out with your friends. Check out some city sights and retire to your favorite restaurant with loads of drinks and incredible amounts of fun – let him miss you a little, that’s okay!
12. Don’t Text Him Too Much
When you weren’t living together, texting was probably your primary mode of communication. With so much unwarranted access to one another, it’s good to create some boundaries.
To do that, limit yourself to only texting him sometimes, even if you miss him. Practice self-restraint and don’t always be in his inbox. If you do this, he will value you more.
13. Be Flirty
If you do text him, make it flirty. Send him a selfie in a skimpy new dress from the dressing room to show him you’ve still got it. You can keep him on his toes!
This flirting can keep the romance alive and make him see you in a very different light.
14. Show Him You Love Him
If you’re in no mood to go all the way to a dressing room just to stake a selfie, that’s understandable. Find ways to send him cute reminders about how much you love him.
15. Get Some Alone Time
We all crave alone time from time to time, especially if we’re constantly with someone who lives in the same room as us, uses the same washroom, and is there when we wake up in the morning. Being together all the time can be overwhelming and can definitely put a strain on your relationship in the long run.
Take frequent alone time. Watching a movie in peace, or maybe doing some self-grooming can make you feel better than therapy ever could.
16. Encourage Him to Spend Time With His Friends
If you’ve been craving some alone time lately, what better and politer way to do it than to encourage your partner to go see his friends. Ask him why he’s been neglecting his social life, and pitch a plan of a weekend getaway with his friends.
This can give him a fresh perspective on his life and you some time alone to wind down..
17. Have a Separate Space for Your Other Interests
It’s great to share a living space that allows you to spend each waking moment together. If you’re in love, it might actually even be a blessing.
However, it’s also okay to not want company all the time or to not talk or laugh or do anything entertaining. Sometimes, you just want to waste the time you have without anyone’s say-so. Have your own separate place in your house that gives you an ample amount of space in which you can be yourself, and make sure he has one too.
18. Develop a Sense of Trust
Once you’ve moved in together, you have to start relying on one another for important things in life. For example, you need to tell each other what groceries are needed or about pipe leak in the kitchen sink.
We know the two of you have spent a lifetime wanting to be seen as independent adults, but now you’re in a relationship – so co-dependency is your new norm.
19. Be There for Him
If you’re always there for your partner, you also need to be there when he needs you the most. Don’t neglect each other. If work or life gets in the way, find a way to make yourselves available to each other. It’s important to focus on each other’s needs, and to be their for your partner in their time of need.
20. Surprise One Another
Surprises can often make life worth living. Surprise your lover by coming home with a little gift, preparing a favorite recipe for your partner, or scheduling a spontaneous weekend trip. These kinds of surprises keep the suspense alive and stop your relationship from getting stagnant.
The Bottom Line
You and your partner are meant to be. – it’s just written in the cards. However, even the best hand can lose sometimes. To be the person your partner loves forever, you need to be the person you were when they first fell in love with you.
Creating little meaningful habits, like welcoming your partner when they come home, can be vital to a sustainable relationship. Welcome your partner with a kiss on the cheek at the doorstep and share the pleasure of being together. This will start the relationship on the right foot and lead you back on the course.