Do you feel like you have to hide your phone from your partner even when you have nothing to hide?
Does talking to a person of the opposite gender make you feel like you’re “cheating” on your partner?
Are you constantly apologizing to your partner for things you haven’t even done?
If these sound familiar to you, you might be in a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship. Keep reading to learn how to deal with those false accusations.
Why Do People Make False Accusations?
If you’re constantly being accused of cheating, you may being in a relationship with an insecure, individual. This insecurity may result from a previous betrayal or a trauma that requires time and attention to heal. This individual will often exhibit jealousy, paranoia, and low self-esteem.
Past attachment injuries may lead to a seriously anxious attachment. They may be living with the belief that people can’t be trusted or that they’ll eventually stray. They may see the world through their feeling of not being desirable or deserving, because they have never felt well-loved and deeply bonded with anyone, including their parents.
Unfortunately, they might have a habit of looking for evidence that supports their narrative that a stable relationship is not feasible for them.
What to Do When You’re Accused of Cheating
It’s aggravating to be accused of something we didn’t do, particularly when there’s no way to prove our innocence. If you’ve been falsely accused of cheating by your boyfriend or significant other, you may be wondering how to handle the situation.
Here are some things you can do:
1. Be truthful to yourself
When you’re wrongly accused, the most important thing to note is who you are.If your partner is seeing you differently right now, it’s can seem hard to affirm your integrity and worth to yourself.
Allowing yourself to be defined by how you’re perceived by him is a mistake. Make sure you remember your own self-worth, and don’t let his negative thoughts affect how you view yourself.
2. Stay calm, and give him time to calm down
Try to remain as calm and collected as possible, and don’t let his anger enrage you.
Remaining calm can be difficult to do in this situation, particularly when you know you’re right. Ask him to calm down so you can speak to him about his accusations properly. Allow time to speak to your partner and work out the problem together in a mature manner.
If he realizes how relaxed and calm you are, he will probably realize his mistake and that he had nothing to be worried about. If you continue to remain as relaxed as possible and don’t give in to his frustration, it’ll be easier to resolve the situation.
Give him some time to calm down. When this time has passed, he’ll probably understand how wrong he was and apologize to you for his behavior.
3. Try not to become irritated and defensive
If you respond negatively, he might become even more convinced that you cheated on him – since someone who actually cheated is are likely to get angry and frustrated. Try not to become irritated and defensive.
Turn the situation into a big fight won’t fix anything – and will just make you both angrier. Even though being falsely accused of cheating is unpleasant, it’s important that you maintain your composure to reduce any further escalation of the problem.
4. Evaluate why they’re accusing you
There are other types of cheating besides having sex, and your partner may be picking up on something. If you’ve become emotionally attached to someone or something else, and it could be tainting the relationship with your partner.
If that’s the case, it’s reasonable that your partner will jump to a false conclusion. If there was a reason behind their insecurity, apologize – and make it clear that it won’t continue. Your partner may not be overreacting because you may be doing things that can make them suspicious.
5. Always be respectful
While there’s no “ideal” relationship, certain characteristics create meaningful relationships. Each partner in a relationship should be treated with integrity and respect.
6. Communicate with your partner
If your partner does this a lot, you need to talk to them. Once they’ve calmed down and the situation is handled, tell them how you feel and what you want in the future. Make an effort to listen to their side without being defensive.
7. Consider couples therapy
If you’re having trouble resolving this issue, it may be time to consider couples counseling. It’ll help you listen to each other and work out some underlying problems.
8. Reevaluate your romantic choices
If this keeps happening to you, there might be a deeper issue here. Do you frequently choose abusive partners? Is it becoming a pattern for you? Do you have a history of infidelity?
The Bottom Line
While there are many ways to deal with false accusations of cheating, the best advice is to always remain calm. Getting angry solves nothing -and only creates more problems. Make sure to communicate with your partner effectively.