Most of the relationship advice you’ll hear revolves around making sure you don’t get too involved with your partner too soon or attached too quickly. While it is great advice, there comes a point where the speed of your relationship might signal that things aren’t going as well as they should be.
How slow is too slow? Read on to find out.
Why You Should Take it Slow
When you fall deeply in love with someone new, it’s almost as if you’re getting a rush of excitement, and can leave you breathless. On the other hand, the end can be confusing and heartbreaking.
Slowing down and getting to know someone might feel like too much work, but it’s definitely the better choice if you want a deeper relationship.
- It will allow you to savor every moment with your new significant other.
- You’ll spend more time getting to know each other
- It allows both partners to feel more emotionally secure in the relationship
Just because a couple hasn’t thought about moving in together for a year doesn’t mean their relationship is doomed. When it comes to the pace at which a relationship develops, there’s no right or wrong response. You’re the expert on your own experience, so you should trust your intuition wholeheartedly.
Is My Relationship Going Too Slow?
Slow-moving or stalling relationships can disillusion you about your future with that person. It’s important to talk to your partner if you think your relationship is going too quickly or too slowly.
Does it feel like your relationship came to a halt? Does your relationship have a future? If you’re unsure, read on for a list of red flags that’ll tell you if you need to start searching for love elsewhere.
1. You’re uncertain about the relationship’s future.
You’ve probably pestered your partner about your current relationship status and where they see your relationship going in the future, but you always get a “I don’t like planning so much” or even an “I’m happy where we are right now” response.
You should both be aware of the fine print of your relationship. If you and your partner have been together for a long time and still disagree about your relationship status, that’s a big red flag.
2. You’re not exclusive.
When both partners in a relationship realize that they only want to be with each other, you become exclusive. If you haven’t done this yet, and your partner is still active on dating sites, you have a serious problem on your hands.
If you haven’t agreed to become exclusive yet, it means your partner isn’t certain about a future with you and hasn’t made up their mind.
3. There isn’t any real progress.
It’s perfectly acceptable for someone to take their time getting married. However, if you’ve been frustrated about watching other people walk down the aisle, it’s might be a sign that he’s moving too slowly – and he might not be interested in marrying you at all.
There needs to be some progress and clear change in a relationship.
4. You haven’t met each other’s families.
When two people are truly in love, they can’t wait to introduce their partner to their closest friends and family members. But, if your partner hasn’t made an effort to introduce you to the people who are important to them, your relationship is progressing at a snail’s pace.
5. You Haven’t Been to His Place
It’s quite an awkward situation when you’ve been dating for months, and your partner still hasn’t invited you over to their house.
What is it about your partner’s way of living that they don’t want you to see? They may be concealing something from you.
6. Your partner doesn’t come to you for advice.
If your partner never asks you for advice and instead turns to friends and family, it’s a sign that your relationship isn’t progressing at a healthy pace.
We all have a network of trusted friends and family, but in a stable partnership, significant others should feel secure enough to rely on each other’s assistance -as much, if not more than the support of everyone else they trust.
7. You make all the plans – and he rarely accepts.
When your partner is absolutely ecstatic about talking to you, and if you know they are interested, it’s fine to text or call first.
But, if you find yourself initiating every conversation, whether it’s a simple text chat or making plans to meet up on the weekend, it’s not a positive sign.
If your partner is unable to commit to next weekend’s plans, consider it a sign that you aren’t high enough on their list of priorities. If they consistently act like you’re not important enough for them to quit whatever it is that keeps them occupied, it’s time to pay attention to this big red flag. Both of you should be collaborating and working towards shared interests in a healthy relationship.
8. Your Partner Doesn’t Respond to Your Texts
Let’s face it: certain people are just not texters.
However, if your partner frequently fails to respond to simple text messages, something is wrong. This might seem insignificant, but if a partner repeatedly ignores your text messages, then you should heed the warning before it is too late.
9. You don’t talk about your hopes and dreams.
When a relationship is going well, partners grow closer to one another and feel more comfortable expressing their hopes, dreams, and weaknesses.
If your partner isn’t very open with you, it’s possible that he or she doesn’t feel close to you. They don’t consider you to be someone who understands them. Perhaps they don’t trust you with their thoughts and fears.
10. You’re feel like you have to pressure him to commit.
If you’re beginning to feel like you need to “sell” him on being with you, or you have to find new reasons to convince him your relationship is worth putting in an effort for, you have to accept that he is either clueless or simply unwilling to commit to you at this stage.
Stop wasting your time with him, tell him what you want out of the relationship, and realize that it’s time to leave him if he walks away from you. If he doesn’t want to commit, you can’t change him.
11. He still flirts with other people.
If you’re exclusive, and your partner is always flirting with other people, their conduct might be considered inappropriate if you are dissatisfied with it.
If he continues after you told him how you feel about his behavior, he’s literally looking for other potential partners while he’s with you. The relationship isn’t moving too slow, it’s dead!
The Bottom Line
Healthy, long-term relationships have a certain degree of comfort, where both partners feel safe and free enough to be themselves. Of course, every relationship is unique in its own special way. If you’re concerned about your relationship’s future, the only thing you can do is to communicate with your partner.
You can question yourself to no end and look for signs and clues everywhere, but the only way to know where the relationship is heading or if it’s moving too slow is to have a heart-to-heart conversation to figure out where you both stand in your relationship.