If you are planning to end your relationship with your narcissist partner, be prepared for some guff.
He or she will become very angry and may badmouth you to everyone in sight. Of course, it will be YOUR fault for this break-up as it can never be theirs.
He or she could even resort to pleading with you to stay in the relationship. Be strong and determined. After all, it is for the best.
One of the tactics a narcissist may use in order to keep you from leaving them is to attempt to make you jealous.
They often parade around town with a barrage of other potential partners. Naturally, he wants all your friends to see this and report back to you.
If you actually do move forward with the break-up, expect this behavior to accelerate to full speed ahead. Now your former partner just wants to get even with you.
If you give in and agree to stay with him, things between you will only worsen. He could really begin to dominate you now.
Remember to always fully stand your ground with him.
Another thing the narcissist will try to do when you want to break up with him is to ply you full of empty promises.
He’ll pledge to change his wicked ways and make you proud of him. At this point desperation sets in on his part.
He will do anything to keep you from walking out that door.
What you must keep in mind during these actions is that he cannot change. The evil ways of a narcissist were practically born into him.
He does not know how to act any differently. Although he might seem sincere in his promises to change, in reality, he never will.
This can depend on the quality of the relationship between you two. If he thinks it was great but is now bored with you, he may try to spare your feelings.
In this case, he will attempt to lure you into an awful fight. Of course, the only way to resolve this dispute is to break things off.
On the other hand, if things have always been difficult between you, he won’t care about your feelings.
Then he’ll resort to other tactics such as flaunting a new girlfriend in front of you. If he gets desperate, he will tend to behave in a horrible manner towards you.
The idea behind that is to force you to end this awful relationship.
This is one of the worst personality flaws of the narcissist. That is, he must always be in control of the situation.
For example, if you are the one who wants to end things, he will be angry that he is not controlling this situation.
Even if he really also wants to terminate things, he attempts to drag it out. For him, the only way to end the partnership is if he can control how it ends.
It is all part of the general make-up of the narcissist.
Although this personality flaw seems like something he must have been born with, most of the time it is a learned behavior.
Maybe one of his parents or siblings was very narcissistic. Or his current set of friends display these traits, so he has picked up on them.
No, not at all. There are scores of women who meet all the criteria. A woman narcissist can be every bit as toxic as her male counterparts.
Her mate will suffer just like anyone else. It also is not specific to heterosexual people. There are some same-sex-oriented people who are narcissists.
Unfortunately, this disruptive personality flaw can surface in anybody.
There is little doubt you wanted to stay in this toxic relationship anyhow.
But if your narcissist partner is going to beat you to the punch, you should be able to recognize some of the signs. Here is a brief list:
- They criticize you often
- They go back and forth between becoming irritated with you and ignoring you
- They start to be extremely distant toward you
- They take more advantage of you than usual
- They heap false accusations of lying or cheating upon you
- They gaslight you
- THEY are the ones who begin stepping out with anyone they can find
- Their temper gets the best of them more frequently
- They cannot control their anger towards you anymore
- They flat out tell you they want to end the relationship
In the first place, it is likely he never really loved you. Instead, he wanted somebody in his life that he could manipulate.
You probably learned to love him in spite of his narcissistic ways.
That kind of scenario does not present enough of a challenge for him. Your love comes too easily. Now he is bored with you and wants to explore his options.
But of course, the termination is still your fault in his eyes.
This type of person tends to be hostile, combative, and controlling. These are all characteristics that the average person hates.
Then there is the vanity and the self-absorption on top of that. No wonder you want to get away from that.
It really would be better for you if you found someone else who is not a narcissist.
Be prepared for a battle. If the termination is your idea, he will put up a fight. That is because it is not under his terms.
Create a plan for yourself of how you are going to do it. Make out a list of factual reasons why you want out.
If necessary, seek advice from a professional counselor who is familiar with narcissists.
Be confident and firm. Under no circumstances should you allow him to talk you out of this. If you have to, bring someone with you.
This last piece of advice applies if you believe he might become abusive and even physically violent. If you don’t think he will, it is really better to approach this event by yourself.
Sometimes that is hard to do. In the beginning, there will be things about him you find appealing. The narcissistic qualities are only starting to show through.
At this point, they almost seem charming. Maybe he is handsome and witty. A narcissist has methods of hiding his true self for a while.
The wise thing to do is to watch out for the worsening signs of this kind of personality. When you discover them, get out of the relationship immediately.
Now that his true mannerisms are apparent, they will never go away.
If you choose to put up with them and stick with him, ultimately, he could find you boring. Then HE will end the union.