When you fall for a guy, there are a ton of things that go through your head, and these things will depend on the type of guy you’re into.
While not all girls like bad boys, it’s impossible to say that none of them do. The problem is, how exactly do you get a bad boy to fall in love with you?
While you may feel pressured to become a “bad girl” in order to woo him, you don’t necessarily need to become one to spark his interest. Let’s take a look at some of the things you should and shouldn’t do to get a bad boy to fall for you.
You should still try to attract them, but with a bad boy, trying too hard can often be a major turn-off.
The solution to this problem is to do small things to draw his attention your way.
Quick glances and eye contact may well give you an air of mystery and make him want to know more about you.
You should also be mindful of the kind of person you are.
If you are a preppy girl, keeping with social norms and the like, that by itself will run the risk of turning him off completely.
That doesn’t mean that you have to compromise your identity; rather, you should try to explore your style, interests, and beliefs to see what feels right.
In addition, you should try to make sure you have something all your own.
If someone can’t describe you without describing a dozen other girls in your circle, you are not going to be terribly appealing to someone on the fringes of society.
This is especially true for all of you who keep your fringe interests concealed in favor of going with the flow and chasing trends with your friends.
No matter how cool a bad boy may be, the important thing to remember is that you can be cool too.
In addition to not trying too hard, make sure that you don’t seem like an outsider to him. Show him that you can be a part of his group.
Once you have started to actually hang out with him, you shouldn’t be too needy or direct.
Playing hard to get or ignoring him may backfire, so be careful if you intend to try that tactic.
However, you’re going into this with more intense feelings than he appears to have, and you don’t want that intensity to put him off.
When you hang out with him, you also shouldn’t let him walk all over you.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to take charge and never listen to him but be sure to take control of the hangouts as much as he or others do.
Honestly, one of the biggest turnoffs for a bad boy is when a girl tries to transform herself into something she’s not, as a bad boy can usually tell when a bad girl is a fake.
As mentioned above, you can still try to explore your identity in this way as a social misfit, but you shouldn’t try to force the change.
When all is said and done, if you want to get closer to anyone for any reason (romantic or otherwise), the best way to do this is to make an effort to get to know them better.
While bad boys have a reputation of being social outcasts, that doesn’t mean they don’t have significant depth to them and their personalities.
If anything, you might find that they have a lot more depth than a lot of other people, they just may not show it off for others.
When you’re trying to get into a relationship with a bad boy, you should show some appreciation for the kinds of things they enjoy.
Not everyone is going to like the same things, however, so you may only be able to take this so far.
Yet, making an effort can do a world of good to show this bad boy that you appreciate him.
There are different degrees of what it means to “get into” his hobbies.
Often, getting into something can just as well mean that you ask him about his interests and listen earnestly when he talks about his hobbies.
Yet, it may also mean getting actively involved, or at least trying to do so.
You should also make a point of figuring out how much your prospective beau appreciates your efforts.
If it doesn’t seem like he is closing the gap between you two, it may be a sign that he is not as interested in you as you are in him.
Yet, he may also be reticent to show his emotional side, which is not a bad thing in and of itself.
If this bad boy has shown interest in you and your appreciation for him, it’s time to make sure he’s willing to reciprocate.
Once again, he doesn’t have to be super interested in what you are interested in, but if he doesn’t even try, he may not be worth pursuing in the first place.
You shouldn’t try to force him into your hobbies but be cooperative if he is trying to figure out why you like it.
Who knows? Maybe you talking about it will help him get into it even more than you are!
Don’t try changing him
The worst thing people do with a bad boy is to try to change him.
This is actually surprisingly common with people who fall for a bad boy – they get the desire to “fix him.”
However, there is simply nothing to be fixed, so long as he is actually just a bad boy.
To form a healthy relationship, you need to be able to accept your partner’s personality.
If you find that you are not actually as attracted to the personality as you once thought, the solution should be that you either need to address that with him, or you need to break up with him so he can be with someone who appreciates him better.
The term “bad boy” has a bad reputation with a lot of people, though whether that reputation is earned will ultimately depend on how a person defines the phrase.
A bad boy is not necessarily bad in terms that actually matter; rather, a bad boy is defined by their defiance of conventional social norms.
This can certainly manifest in unhealthy ways, but again, it is not a mandatory aspect.
Comparatively, a bad guy is, strictly speaking, bad (and not in the cool way).
They tend to mistreat the people around them and being with them can prove to be rather unhealthy for you.
Be careful that the guy you are attracted to is not the wrong kind of guy for you.
A healthy relationship, no matter if it is platonic or romantic, should have a reasonable level of mutual support.
If the guy you like does not show you any support, or worse, is causing you grief, that is not the kind of guy you want to get involved with.
If the guy speaks harmfully or negatively of you, especially frequently (such as speaking sarcastically or demeaning you), that’s a huge red flag.
Controlling behaviors are another kind of toxic attribute that you may see in a guy. This is when he tries to make you do what he wants and doesn’t allow you to feel like you can be free to be your own person.
The biggest bad flag is if there is any physical violence involved in your relationship. Violence is not a bad boy trait, it’s just abusive.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you, it may be difficult for you to figure out what to do about it. After all, love can make you do foolish things.
The best thing to do, painful though it may seem, is to distance yourself from him.
This may be difficult, especially if this person is in your friend circle, but you have to focus on yourself first and foremost.