Let’s be honest – no one is perfect. There’s a great joy that comes with loving someone flawed in his or her own adorable way. However, some men aren’t flawed – but rather, desperate.
Such men are desperate for affection, attention, or even just aggression from the opposite sex. All these men want is to find a woman they like, cling to her like a leech, and drop her when they get bored.
To a desperate man, you aren’t exceptional – you’re just someone willing to put up with him until he finds someone else. He’s well aware that the relationship won’t last and deliberately wastes your time until you see through his façade and dump him.
Are you dating a desperate guy? Read on for the signs to watch out for!
1. The Relationship is Moving too Quickly
This sign is a pretty apparent one. A desperate man is scared that you might be too smart for his antics, so he tries to get as much out of you as soon as he can.
This means that he’ll make the relationship move quicker than it should, initiating sex and taking you on vacations before the first date has ended.
A relationship should evolve over time, and if you’re dating a man who moves too quickly for you, this is a red flag you should keep your eyes open for before things spiral out of control.
2. He’s Available at All Times
Who doesn’t want a man who’s always ready and willing to help – someone you can rely on to be there for you when you need him? The best of us do, and because needy guys are aware of this situation, they frequently milk it for all it’s worth.
The relationship starts with your typical Mr. Nice Guy, swooping in to save the day and rescue you (the “damsel in distress”) – but there will come a point when you realize that he’s kind of always there.
He’s always available at any time of any day. The problem is, no adult man is that unoccupied, especially on the weekends. If it seems like he doesn’t have a life, then something is amiss.
3. He Spends Too Much Time with You
We know what you’re thinking: a man willingly spending time with you, especially at the beginning of the relationship, is an adorable angel – not a desperate man!
Think about it this way: why doesn’t this man have plans of his own – or even friends of his own?
While you may enjoy this extra attention for a couple of weeks or even a few months, you’ll soon get tired of it. Him not heading home even after you’ve spent the weekend together will make you realize that he’s not in love with you; he’s just desperate for your company.
4. He Doesn’t Respect Your Time and Space
Relationships are great, and even the best ones tend to have some clinginess from both sides. However, there’s a fine line between “always hanging out together” and never being alone. The former is endearing, while the latter can be creepy.
Desperate men will stick to your side like glue – even when you have to run errands, go shopping, or pick up your laundry. When he’s tagging along like a clueless puppy on your fourth errand run of the week, you’ll start realizing what a desperately clingy person you are with.
This man also won’t leave you alone long enough for you to make weekend plans of your own.
5. He’s Constantly Buying Gifts
This habit can be unattractive and even irritating to some women – because gifts lose their meaning when a man gives them to you all the time. Now that’s not to say that the thought isn’t wonderful – but you’ll become tired of always getting things after a time.
Looking forward to a surprise is a big element of getting gifts, and if you get something all the time, the gesture loses its value.
6. He Tries Taking Your Focus Away From Important Things
Having someone special in your life is great, but when he starts drawing your interest away from things like caring for a loved one or taking care of normal things, the relationship can get stuffy. He often tries to make you think that you should only be there for him.
You may find yourself being hopelessly irritated when he calls to make plans because you know he won’t let you do anything else.
7. He’s in Constant Agreement with Whatever You Say
This suggests that the person you’re in a relationship with is a people-pleaser, which is a quality that can be destructive. Does he lack any opinions of his own?
It simply implies that the man lacks a backbone and takes things people say far too seriously. This is a frequent problem with someone who is overly dependent.
8. You Find Him Making Future Plans Too Soon
Chick flicks aside – if a man looks into your eyes and tells you he’s going to marry you on the first date, it means he is desperately looking for a (read: any) woman. You being that particular woman doesn’t matter to him.
He’s not attached to you – rather the idea of you.
So, if you hear a guy say to you, “you’re the only girl for me” before you’ve even been on your third date, you have a desperate man on your hands. Turn around and flee before he has an opportunity to break your heart before you know it!
9. He Has a Low Sense of Self-Worth
Men with poor self-esteem are more inclined to be desperate than those with high self-esteem. A desperate man will go to any length to please you (or any other woman) he thinks he has a shot with because he knows he won’t have many other options.
Unlike self-confident individuals who can choose to leave a relationship if it gets abusive, people with low self-esteem stay in relationships because they feel safe. His desperation may stem from a lack of self-esteem if:
- Your lover is socially reclusive
- He apologizes for the smallest things
- He’s extremely sensitive to criticism
10. He’ll Go to Any Length to Have a Chance With You
We all react to rejection in different ways. Some people become enraged and say hurtful things, while others try to keep their calm and persuade you to reconsider.
Desperation, on the other hand, can drive a guy to try every trick in the book. Try coming up with a list of desperate things you don’t think anyone would stoop low enough to do – and this guy will do them all.
From begging you to stay to stalking you, this guy will try everything he can to hold on to you, the “girl of his dreams.”
11. He Has Very Low Standards
Since he’s desperate, this man wants female validation and wants it quick. If this guy tells you he likes you, don’t be flattered – because he’s probably said that to every other girl he’s ever had a relationship with. He’ll say anything to get closer to you.
His urgency to convince you to give him a chance is not there because he likes you for who you are, but because he wants to get laid or to avoid being alone – and his low standards will cause him to do the same for literally any girl.
12. He Might Stoop to Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail isn’t out of the realm of possibility for the average desperate guy. He knows girls are soft-hearted and are suckers for tragic backstories, so most desperate guys spin up sob stories to lure the girl they want to them.
Whenever he messes up (which he frequently will), he’ll conjure up some sob story that will melt your heart or make you want to be with him for another day.
Desperate guys are masters of manipulation – and know exactly what to say to make you feel sorry for them.
13. He Brings Sex into Every Conversation
You’ve probably met the rowdy guy at the party who can’t maintain a decent conversation without bringing up a sexual topic. He’s the sort of person who’ll make jokes with innuendos or sexual punchlines and try to get physically intimate with you before he even learns your name.
With this sort of guy, the intention behind his affection is thinly veiled. He tries to sit close to you, ogles you like there’s no tomorrow, and tries to place his hands where they don’t belong.
While he is attracted to you, it’s more to do with his desperation than being a compliment to you. He doesn’t want you for your personality or your wit; he’s just there for your body.
14. When He Gets What He Wants, He Gets Bored
It is true that as any relationship progresses, it’s bound to get a little boring – because it’s hard to keep the intensity you had when just starting out. However, most couples understand that there’s more to a relationship than just the honeymoon phase, and settle into a more mature relationship over time.
This man, however, has no such notions. Wildly attracted to novelty and desperate for something or someone new, he’ll leave you high and dry the second he feels like the relationship is getting boring.
15. He Checks Out Every Woman Around
This is the easiest way to spot a desperate man. Just take him to a bar you know hot women frequent, and observe him as he checks every woman that walks in and out.
Most straight men indeed tend to check women out from time to time, but desperate men tend to check out women all the time.
The desperate man won’t actually talk to these women. Instead, he’ll stare at them until they get uncomfortable and get grossed out by his creepiness.
A desperate man is desperate no matter where you take him.
16. He Has No Boundaries
At first, he may appear to be a compassionate man concerned about your feelings and will go to any length to please you – but you’ll soon discover that he has no boundaries since he’s desperately attempting to win you over.
He’ll do anything to please you and keep you for a time, even if you go against his beliefs and push him beyond his limits. He’ll choose to stay with you, and will do anything to convince you to stay a little longer.
17. He’s Very Insecure
The insecurity of a desperate man is one of his defining characteristics. He’ll want to be near you all the time, and he’ll go to any length to make that happen – maybe even going so far as completely rejecting his beliefs for you.
Aside from the constant messaging, don’t be surprised if he calls you every hour or so to check in on you. Even if you tell him you’re busy, he’ll set up dates and expect you to show up.
He will constantly check in with you and might even blow his lid off at the slightest mention of another guy. He wants you for himself, so he’ll become irritated at any other guy who likes you or is your friend.
18. He Can Get Irrational
Another weird thing about desperate men is that they tend to act in unpredictable ways. Sometimes, they’ll go to great lengths to convince you how much they love you. Other times, they’ll give you the cold shoulder or ignore you when they have the attention of another woman.
These kinds of men also tend to act very strangely if you break up with them, and might even get a little dangerous. For example, they may threaten to leak private conversations or even nudes, blackmailing you until you do what they want you to do.
19. He Treats Women Like Trophies
Check how he treats the women in his life. If this man treats them like trophies rather than human beings, you have your answer.
Whether he’s slept with them, dated them, or is just friends with them, he’ll compliment himself for “scoring” so many women in his life. Then, he’ll brag about his conquests to his friends – whether they care to listen or not.
He might not even know a woman well and tell his friends how much she likes him anyway – because to him, there’s no greater prize than getting validation from a woman, even if it’s not real.
This just goes to demonstrate how obsessive a desperate man can get. His ego is fed through the attention he gets from women and this satisfaction also helps others see him in a brighter light.
20. He Brags About Himself
Another surefire sign of a desperate man is that he’ll try to please you by reiterating all of the fantastic things he’s done until you get sick of hearing about them. He wants your admiration – and to him, telling grand tales is the way to go about it.
Even when you can tell that he’s clearly flawed, he’ll go on and on about all the things he has done, is doing, and will do for you.
In his opinion, he’s flawless and can do no wrong. According to him, nothing about him – from his appearance to his accomplishments or personality – needs any improvements.
The Bottom Line
These are the telltale signals of a desperate man. Yet, remember that nothing is fixed in stone. Finding one or more of these signs in your lover isn’t an indication that he’s desperate. Instead, other reasons may cause the signs you found.
However, if almost all these signs are present in the man you have in mind, remember that there are many other less desperate fish in the sea.