A guy with a soft heart is highly sensitive and is a rare instance of perfection. They have big hearts, and so much love to give that they can’t contain it.
While most other men spend their time hurting people or pursuing selfish interests, a soft-hearted guy does things for himself and others. He falls fast and hard in love, and isn’t afraid to show it.
While he might sound perfect, these men can be problematic – and in fact, dating a soft-hearted man might do more harm than good.
Scroll down to learn why.
1. They’re not available for casual flings.
The biggest problem with soft-hearted guys is that they become too invested in everything they start doing. Because they have a huge heart and so much love to give, it is hard for them to understand that not everyone feels things as intensely as they do, and that doesn’t make those people bad.
Thus, soft-hearted guys are the worst choices for rebounds, lovers, or casual flings. They’ll give you your heart whether you’ve asked for it or not.
2. They can be needy.
If you have strong feelings for him, be prepared to deal with a lot of neediness. This is a man who finds it hard to share you with anyone.
If you usually text him in the evenings and miss the time slot without informing him, he’ll get insanely worried. While it might sound cute to have someone worry about you, a guy who absolutely loses his calm without hearing from you might be a curse more than a blessing.
3. They get jealous easily.
If you’re someone who enjoys going out by herself and enjoying the platonic or romantic company of men, get ready to throw that out the window the minute you start dating a soft-hearted man.
He is someone who finds it hard to wrap his head around the fact that you can have other male friends. In fights, he’ll use it as a way to insinuate that you’re disloyal to him.
If you’re dating an overly jealous man, here are 10 ways to handle it.
4. They want you to be as passionate about their interests as they are.
They’re a whirlwind of passions and tend to be very vocal about their passion projects – which could incidentally be one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place.
However, these men are also very brutal to the people who don’t feel as passionately about the subjects they’re passionate about. For instance, if your man is passionate about climate change and his friends aren’t, he might make them seem like they’re evil for no apparent reason.
5. He’ll make you feel horrible for not supporting the same causes.
This is a continuation of the previous point, but it must be made. The problem with people with passion projects is that they want everyone to be on board with what they believe in.
Change, no matter how necessary, takes time. If he wants to have all shelter dogs adopted, he will need first to create awareness around the cause – and should never shame you or others for not feeling as passionately about adopting dogs as he does.
6. They’re too sensitive.
Sensitivity is a big issue with soft-hearted men, and it won’t take too much to notice this. He will cry at sappy love stories or animated Pixar movies, which is okay (and yeah, maybe even a little cute), but it becomes a tad bit annoying when they’re sensitive to everything.
How would you feel if your man starts weeping at an ad for a detergent, or shares quotes about heartbreak and people who’ve hurt him on his social media all the time?
7. Loving them is hard.
There are so many things about a sensitive man that are beautiful. However, with all their many strong points, they do have some glaring negatives too.
When the two of you fight, which inevitably all couples will, he’ll turn it into a war. Because he feels so passionately about everything, it’ll be hard for him not to be melodramatic or make it seem like you’re the worst person on Earth.
8. They’ll struggle To Be Your Macho Ideal
While the past ideal of an emotionally stunted, macho man has been somewhat shattered, you might still need your man to be able to do some “manly” things.
For example, he should be able to change a flat tire or replace a bad bulb. While no one expects him to be the human embodiment of Bob The Builder, he should be able to manage basic household repairs.
We’re sorry to break it to you though: most soft-hearted men fall short of being the “macho man” you’ve always imagined yourself with.
9. They’re too clingy.
If you’re someone who likes her alone time, you’ll need to make some big changes to your preferences. A soft-hearted man is clingy, and will want to spend “quality time” with you all the time.
While it may be fun at first, it might get exhausting and redundant after a while.
10. They have many insecurities.
This is a man who takes everything to heart. So, if you gave a fleeting compliment to another man without thinking about it, you’ll definitely hear about it later, because your man probably took it as an insult or dig at the qualities he has.
A soft-hearted guy has spent much time trying to overcome his insecurities, and you’ll spend a lot of time convincing him he’s good enough.
11. They might have been hurt before.
Before this soft-hearted guy met you, the was most likely in previous serious relationships – and probably got hurt when they ended.
These failed relationships must have left permanent scars on his very soft heart, and he might consciously or subconsciously compare you to the girls who hurt him in the past. Here’s how to deal with someone who’s been hurt before.
12. They mistrust everyone around them
Prior ailed relationships may have given him a lifelong mistrust in people, especially those with whom he enters a romantic relationship. So, beware: this is a man who says he loves you and respects you, but doesn’t trust you.
When the time comes, he’ll use his “broken heart” as an excuse and will break your heart before you know it.
13. They’ll try to change you and your bad habits.
While this may seem like a positive thing, it is shrouded in guilt. Abandoning bad habits is an incredible thing, but is a decision one must make independently. Nobody, not even the people you love, can force your hand.
He’ll make you feel so guilty about the things you do or don’t do that you’ll have no choice but to change if you want to be together.
14. They overthink everything.
While we’re all guilty of doing this at some point in our lives, a softhearted man is guilty of overthinking almost everything. They infer meanings out of the things you said or the things you didn’t say and the things you did or didn’t – and will drive you absolutely insane asking for explanations and justifications.
15. They’re all about the grand romantic gestures.
While the occasional over-the-top romantic gesture is one to be remembered for ages, if grand romantic gestures become a part of your daily routine, they become redundant and less meaningful.
It also ups the ante on how you’re expected to reciprocate. Because there’s such an overwhelming amount of love coming your way, you’ll always feel a little inadequate for not reciprocating correctly.
16. They’re quick to place blame, and never to accept it.
The line between being a soft-hearted and emotionally manipulative is blurry, and most guys skip between the two areas with expertise. A lot of times soft-hearted guys have sympathy for one person only: themselves.
When they make mistakes, everyone around them is cruel and doesn’t understand them. When the roles are reversed, and somebody else makes a mistake, they’re typically less than forgiving.
17. The relationship can negatively affect your self-esteem.
Being with a person who’s always too much to handle can be exhausting, and you might feel emotionally drained taking care of them. You might also feel like a terrible person knowing that no matter how much effort you put in, he will put in more.
You’ll end up feeling like the less-invested girlfriend who just can’t take care of the man with the “heart of gold.”
While it can be great to be with a person who understands and cares, it shouldn’t be at the cost of your self-esteem.
18. They always over apologize.
“Sorry” is a powerful word, and is one that a soft-hearted guy uses… a lot. It might be genuine occasionally, but a soft-hearted guy uses it as a weapon and sometimes as a shield.
They’ll mess up, insinuate guilt, make you feel like a smaller person, and then say sorry. They’ll keep saying sorry until you cave and tell him it’s okay.
The simple truth is that sometimes you don’t want to forgive so easily, but they don’t give you a choice in the matter.
19. They don’t have any confidence.
Are you the girlfriend who has to talk to the cashier when your boyfriend has to return clothes that he ordered the wrong sizes for? Do you have to fight the driver who turned a corner without having the right of way, even while you’re sitting in the passenger seat?
Sounds like your boyfriend lacks the confidence to stick up for himself, and he might just be a soft-hearted guy.
20. They might see themselves as victims.
They feel like the world is out to get them. Something bad happens to them every single time they hit a plateau in life, and they have a tendency to overreact and blow things out of proportion.
While other people understand that life has its highs and lows, this man feels like the entire world is conspiring against him.
21. They tend to wallow in self pity.
A big consequence of being someone who overthinks is that they might think everything is their fault. So, in a way, they make everything about themselves.
From the rude barista to the over-salted lunch, they’ll make it seem as though everything was their fault when that just isn’t true.
This also means that you’ll have to control the damage every single time and prevent them from absolutely spiraling over a piece of burnt bread.
22. It’s hard for them to forgive or forget.
Whether it’s his ex-girlfriend, his mom, or his 7th grade bully, he finds it hard to forgive the people who might’ve hurt him. No matter how much time has passed since an incident, he holds grudges and justifies it by saying that his heart was hurt.
While his soft heart may be adorable sometimes, holding a grudge against everyone you might’ve had a skirmish with is a strange way to live life.
The Bottom Line
If you have fallen in love with a soft-hearted guy, our only advice is to tread with caution. This relationship might be your peace, or might be a landmine full of explosives at every turn.
Think you might be in a relationship with a soft-hearted man? Here are 22 Signs You’re With A Kind-Hearted Man.