When someone sends us confusing signals, it might trigger obsessive-compulsive behavior that makes our friends cringe and worry about our sanity. You become increasingly worried and perplexed by the actions of the person sending you mixed signals, and you spend hours dissecting it in your mind.
You go through chats again, looking for clues, and go over your last interaction to see what you missed.
In the end, even though you realize how ridiculous you look, you can’t quite stop thinking about the things they said or didn’t say. Read on to learn about the types of mixed signals, what they really mean, and what you can do about it!
6 Signs He’s Sending You Mixed Signals
Anyone who has been on the receiving end knows how frustrating mixed signals can be. If you think he’s sending you mixed signals, here are some signs to watch out for:
1. He flirts with everyone.
Relationships are hard nowadays. People have weird comfort zones, diverse sexualities and preferences, and different ways to express themselves.
While most of us believe in monogamy and having one partner for life, other people might have different ideas about what love means to them. One of the most frustrating mixed signals a person can send you is flirting with everything with a pulse – yet still claiming he’s faithful to you.
2. His behavior is so different day to day.
This hot and cold behavior is a classic mixed-signal, present in the dating world since the advent of texting. The basic premise is that this person is not consistent with their behavior. Sometimes, he makes you feel on top of the world – and other times, he may make you feel as if you don’t exist.
This hot and cold attitude is actually a toxic sign of an emotionally manipulative person, and is enough to drive anyone crazy.
3. He only connects with you on social media.
Another interesting mixed signal that has recently grown popular because of social media usage is keeping interactions with you limited to social media.
If they meet you in person, he’s either cold or doesn’t acknowledge you at all. This, combined with his flirtatious attitude, ends up making you look like a love-struck fool.
4. He only wants your attention when it’s convenient for them.
This is a mixed-signal found mostly in narcissistic individuals who see you as a trophy. They measure their love for you by what they think is an achievement. Some weird parameters they judge you by are:
- What you look like
- How your career is unfolding
- How much you’re earning
If you post a picture looking drop-dead gorgeous and see them slipping into your DMs, don’t be surprised. Remember, though: this isn’t sincere affection, rather just him trying to get your attention when he thinks “you’re worth it.”
5. He holds out on sex.
Few things can erode confidence quite like a lover who suddenly refuses to have sex as frequently as before.
Emotional mood swings can lead to feelings of inadequacy and undesirability, and physical concerns might lead to some partners avoiding the typical level of physical intimacy in their relationship.
6. They say one thing, but do another.
It’s aggravating when someone you’re dating claims they want to see you but then doesn’t show up. Likewise, it’s exasperating when your partner claims they’ll help with the laundry but then leaves it heaped on the floor.
People whose words don’t match their behavior may be fearful of commitment and conflict – or might be acting out their emotions rather than talking about them.
What These Mixed Signals Mean
1. He Just Wants Your Attention
This guy is sending you confusing messages, and starting all this drama because he craves attention. He’s probably the type of person who feeds on female attention because he’s lonely – so he entertains himself by being hot and cold, which also suggests his heart isn’t set on you.
2. You’re His Back-Up
Let’s face it: if he’s playing with your emotions, it’s probably because he wants to keep you as a “safety net.” He’s just biding time with you until he finds another girl he likes more.
3. He’s Feelings Things Out
It’s also possible that the guy is simply testing the waters with you and isn’t planning on taking it the entire way through. He isn’t sure of his feelings and is too shy to find out yours – so he inevitably plays games that lead to an unnecessary amount of hurt.
4. He Wants to Take Things Slow
This might be one of the many possible explanations why he’s hot and cold at different times. Sometimes, he bares his soul to you, while others, it’s a battle to get a word out of him.
This could simply be because he’s not searching for a committed relationship at the moment. He likes you but isn’t ready to commit – but he doesn’t want to give you up, either.
5. He Likes To Play Games
Some men thrive on receiving female attention. They become so arrogant that they start mistreating the girl who made them feel good in the first place.
In public or when his friends are present, he probably acts indifferent towards you – while when you’re alone, he’s all over you. This isn’t a man, he’s a computer game!
6. He Enjoys Making You Feel Bad About Yourself
This is an insecure man. He sees you winning at life and thinks to himself, “I need her in my life”. He isn’t a man who likes you or is even attracted to you.
As cliché as this might sound, he’s attracted to the idea of you – and to the idea of this fun-loving, successful person who is also pleasant to the eyes.
His mixed signals are just a way for him to channel his insecurities into you, and make you go crazy trying to decode his behavior.
7. He’s Inexperienced
This one comes as a piece of good news, but might be rare. By circumstance or otherwise, some men haven’t had many girlfriends and have spent the better part of their lives amongst boys. This is a boy who isn’t sending you mixed signals because he is trying to use you.
He just doesn’t know your worth and isn’t sure about your feelings for him, so all he does is be hot and cold, trying to ascertain what you might be feeling towards him. Here are some helpful tips to implement if you’re dating someone who’s never had a relationship before.
8. You Give Him Mixed Signals Too
Sometimes, we’re the reason our relationships are failing. One of the main reasons he might be sending you mixed signals is that you do the same to him. For instance, you might take a long time to reply to him or flirt with other guys and call it a “harmless friendship.”
His mixed signals might be a reaction to your behavior.
9. He’s Confused
His conflicting signals could indicate that he’s battling with his emotions and is unsure of what he desires. He might have been hurt by his ex and is still trying to get over her.
Just because he’s not replying on time or only seeing you a couple of times a month doesn’t mean he’s a bad boyfriend. Chances are that he’s conflicted about this relationship and requires a little time to figure things out independently.
10. He’s Trying to Be “Cool and Casual”
This one is a classic reason why boys behave the way they do. They keep sending you wild mixed signals that are tough to decode because they’re too afraid to feel what they’re really feeling.
Your man might be acting on advice given to him by his male friends on how to play games so that the relationship doesn’t become boring.
11. He Only Likes You for Your Body
Guys may convey mixed signals when they don’t want a full-fledged relationship, but simply want to have a good time in the bedroom. If this is the case, he’s definitely not looking for an intimate bond.
He’s probably just trying to push your boundaries to see how far you’ll go with him without asking for explicit commitment. Check out 7 Reasons Why He Keeps You Around Without a Relationship to see if this explains his actions.
What Can You Do About It?
- Stop Chasing Him
No matter what the reason behind his signals is or how strange they are, the fact of the matter is that it’s hurting you. It’s hurting you enough to go and look for reasons why he’s behaving the way he is, and you’ve probably even searched your heart to see if you’re the one at fault.
The bottom line is that he’s just not worth the time, attention, or the chase. This is a man who is showing you by his actions just how little he cares about you. It’s time you see this relationship for what it is: a farce.
- Stop Decoding His Signals
Building upon the previous point, another thing you need to stop doing is spending all this time decoding his signals. Men are action-oriented, and they tell you exactly how they feel by their words and their actions.
He’s just not worth the time and effort you are putting into decoding his signals. The best thing to do is just to let this guy go.
- Go With the Flow
Simply enjoying the game is a relaxing alternative. When he’s flirting with you, flirt back -and when he backs away, do your own thing. Allow yourself to enjoy yourself rather than allowing him to control your emotions.
- Be Sexually Powerful
Games and flirtatious fun are signals that someone is attempting to elicit sexual advancements.
Find out how far he wants to go and utilize that information to your advantage. Then, try to seduce or entice him physically if you want to keep the intrigue going without really committing.
- Don’t Fall For Him
If you’re ready to play his games, remember not to make the mistake of falling for him. You don’t want to find love with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Keep the pace light and pleasant until things become apparent because he isn’t ready.
- Don’t Give Him Too Much Attention
If you’re sure about your feelings for him and don’t want to let him go, then you need to start speaking his language. If he flirts with other girls, flirt with other guys too. Show him what he’s missing – and give him a taste of his own medicine.
If this man decodes your signals, then voila: you have yourself a man who is too good to be true.
- Play Games With Him Too
Okay, you’ve followed his rules – and they’re not working. Now, it’s time to take command.
Attempt something new. If he flirts with other girls, don’t act jealous. Instead, pretend it isn’t worth your time and act aloof. Make him realize that his actions do not diminish your worth.
Let him decide how much he cares for you and how ready he is to pull his act together.
- Call Him Out on His BS
If a guy gives you confusing signals and you’re fed up with it, you should confront him – but just be aware that this usually doesn’t end well.
If you do have the confidence to take this step, make it permanent. If he refuses everything, break away – since he doesn’t deserve what you’re willing to provide.
- Know When it’s Time to Go
There will come a time when you’ll realize that this man has wasted too much of your time with his silly, boyish antics and mixed signals that are too exhausting to decode. Sometimes, even despite our best efforts, we can’t seem to make a man behave.
That’s when it’s time to let him go – and harbor no feelings of hatred against him. He’s just not worth it.
In any relationship, communication is crucial. If you’re having trouble understanding someone, being upfront about it can help you both get on the same page and, ideally, avoid further misunderstandings.
If you’re honest with your romantic partner about these concerns and they don’t change, it could be a sign that you’re not fit for the same sort of partnership or that you need to set some boundaries. After all, your priority should be to protect your own heart. If you’re still unsure about him, check out 15 clear signs it’s time to call it quits.