Falling in love is never the same experience twice. While some relationships last a lifetime, others may crash and burn. Some even end amicably.
If you have had your first love and you are wondering if you can be friends with them, this article is for you.
It is possible to be friends with your first love, depending on the context of your relationship and how your relationship ended.
Being friends with your first love is possible if you have an amicable relationship with one another, if you fall in love at a young age, or if neither of you feels romantically for the other.
Being friends with your first love may seem impossible, especially if you are dealing with a breakup or if you cannot imagine your life without your first love.
However, many people report that remaining friends with their first love is often much easier than subsequent relationships they pursue later on down the road in life.
Remaining friends with your first love requires an understanding between both parties involved.
However, a long-lasting friendship with a first love is often one of the most unique and deeply personal connections one can make.
Some people remain friends with their first love because they have a special bond with one another, especially if they fell in love at a young age or even throughout childhood.
Falling in love for the first time is unforgettable, people often remember the experience for the rest of their lives.
Shared fond feelings and memories are usually why some couples choose to remain friends.
Remaining friends with your first love is much easier if you have fallen in love at a young age.
When you are with your first love at a young age, you will spend much more time together than you might as you get older and start to work towards careers and building a family.
Your first love will create a special bond, as you have never experienced the feelings you are experiencing or spent time with someone in a romantic capacity before.
When you fall in love for the first time, you may also feel more protective and sentimental of your first love, especially if you first get together while you are young.
Having a special bond and growing up together can lead to lifelong friendships, even if you do not end up romantically with your first love.
Surprisingly, it can be fairly easy to remain friends with your first love, depending on the situation you are in, the length of your relationship, and how your relationship first ended.
Being friends with your first love is simple for some, especially those who end a relationship on positive terms and without any negative feelings and emotions.
Being friends with your first love may come naturally as you feel more protective of your first love than others.
Over time, through dating, divorce, and having children, you may not feel the same way as you once did when falling in love for the first time.
A first love is a special experience for most, which is why so many who have young first loves have the ability to remain friends throughout the duration of their lives.
This is another subjective question that greatly depends on the type of relationship you had with your first love, when you had your first relationship, and how your relationship ended.
Because there are so many variables and factors that may need to be considered based on the relationship you were in with your first love, no one individual can tell you if it is healthy to be back in a relationship again or not.
However, there are a few ways to determine whether or not you are in a healthy relationship with your first love as a friend.
Some indicators of a healthy relationship that has clear boundaries with an ex-partner may be:
- You never feel uncomfortable or pressured when around your first love.
- Your past partner does not pressure you or make you feel obligated to have romantic feelings for them or to reciprocate romantic gestures and advances.
- Your ex-partner does not attempt to interfere with your present-day life, including your current relationships.
- You and your ex-partner have established platonic boundaries or are well aware of the status of your relationship as friends only.
- You have both forgiven one another and moved on from the past.
Similar to being able to have a healthy platonic relationship with your first love, it is also possible to find yourself embroiled in a hot mess of drama.
If you pursue a relationship with a first love who is not over you or who is unaware or unwilling to respect boundaries, then you could be in for some trouble.
When you are friends with your first love but they are preoccupied with getting back together and pursuing a romantic relationship, your friendship will not likely work out.
If you are already in a relationship and you are uninterested in rekindling the romance, you may run into issues if you attempt to become friends again.
If you are pondering the idea of connecting platonically with your first love, it is important to take a step back to evaluate and analyze your own situation first.
Ask yourself the following questions if you are thinking of building a friendship with your first love again:
- Am I in the right place to be friends with my first love, or will this cause me to feel romantically about them again?
- Is my ex-partner in the right place to be friends with me? Will our friendship come between the relationships and lives we are leading now?
- Is it possible for me to set boundaries with my first love to protect both of us from developing feelings or pursuing a romantic relationship again?
- How can I best introduce the possibility of working on a friendship with my first love without coming off too strongly or in the wrong light?
- How can I tell if my ex-partner is ready for a friendship, or if they are even interested in one?
- Am I able to handle the prospect that my first love is uninterested in pursuing a friendship with me, even if I am ready? If I am not, is it healthy for me to even try?
It can be difficult to determine if you can be friends with your first love if you have never attempted to reconnect or if you are unsure of where to begin.
If you are already connected with your first love, that is the first step to reconnecting and rebuilding a potential friendship.
When you think of becoming friends with your first love, what do you feel and think immediately?
Do you recoil in disgust, or are you optimistic about the opportunity to reconnect and get to know one another again?
Do you still have romantic feelings for your first love, or do you simply care about them and how their life is going?
Asking yourself a few questions can help you to know if pursuing a relationship or friendship is the best choice.
It is also important to consider where you are in life when you are thinking of becoming friends again.
Is your first love married? Do they have a family and children of their own? Where does your first love live, and are you still able to get in touch fairly easily?
If you are already connected to social media or through other means, you can easily reach out to reconnect if you believe you are both in the right place.
However, if you think you may still have romantic feelings for your first love, it’s important to take a step back to assess first.
Knowing if you can remain friends with your first love is subjective, as every relationship differs as well as the type of love you have for one another.
While some signs may be more obvious in one relationship, others may be more difficult to detect.
However, if you are curious about pursuing a friendship with your first love, there are a few signs that can indicate it is a possibility, such as:
- When you think of your first love, you do not harbor any feelings of bitterness, shame, guilt, resentment, or anger.
- You have an amicable relationship now and your relationship has not ended on bad terms.
- You genuinely want the best for your first love, even if that means not being in a romantic relationship together.
- You are both interested in remaining friends and are comfortable with maintaining ongoing communications.
- You have both acknowledged boundaries and have set them in place.
- You are both content with where you are in life.
- You are not attempting to reconnect with your first love due to other issues that are going on in your own life or your own relationship.
- When you think of your first love, you do not immediately wish to rekindle your relationship or pursue a romantic connection.
- You are both open-minded and not possessive of one another, even after spending time together romantically.
If you want to cultivate a friendship with your first love, consider whether or not you are already connected via phone, social media, or another means of contact.
If it is difficult to find your first love online, they may not want to be found, or it may be best to seek contact information directly from someone you know in person.
If you are already connected with your first love, you can reach out and simply attempt to communicate directly.
Reminiscing and presenting the possibility of becoming platonic friends again is the most direct way of knowing whether or not it is a possibility for you.
If you have a strong and unwavering connection with your first love, their response may surprise you, as they may also have a fondness for you that is immeasurable.
Being friends with your first love is not all that uncommon, especially for those who experienced love at a young age or ended the relationship on good terms.
If you are able to maintain a friendship with your first love, you will have a unique and special relationship throughout the rest of your lives.