There’s nothing worse than the silent treatment – especially when you’re in a relationship and used to constantly talking to each other day in and day in day and out.
It’s like you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach, and you probably have this overwhelming feeling of confusion.
You’re probably thinking, what did I do? Why is he not talking to me?
First of all, let me tell you that this is perfectly natural to feel this way.
However, there is a reason that he’s being like this, and to help you, we’re going to try to help you find out why and seek out the possibilities on how to rectify it.
1. He’s mad at you.
Okay, let’s start with the obvious: your boyfriend might not be talking to you because he’s mad! Maybe you can relate to this. Have you been upset at him or someone in your life? Have you been so angry you weren’t able to express your feelings? This could be happening to him.
Put yourself in his shoes. Have you done anything that might have made him really mad recently? He could be ignoring you due to something you’ve said while arguing. Plus, when you’re constantly talking to him, you could be making him even more upset – and he might just see negativity when talking to you.
Ignoring you can be a childish response to being upset with you – but in these moments, it’s important not to counteract childishly. You have to take the moral high ground on this one and wait for him to communicate his feelings with you. Only then can you work with him to resolve the issue he has with you.
2. Talking to you brings him down.
Are you an optimist, realist, or pessimist? Whatever you think your mindset is, it might be perceived differently by your boyfriend – especially if you’re complaining all of the time and are just so negative. The thing is, if you’re always complaining, it could become a bit of a habit that even you don’t notice it.
While it might not affect you that much, it could really bring your boyfriend down; in fact, it could wear him out completely. The sad thing is, if someone points out that you’re a negative person, you jump into defense mode and immediately become more hostile.
Try to smile more often, even if you’re forcing yourself – and think of happy thoughts. It may not seem natural to you, but over time, you will become happier. This way, your boyfriend will see you as a positive person instead of a sad one. Happiness can be infectious – and once you’re happy, he will want to be a part of it.
3. He’s hiding his emotions.
A genuine reason your man might be not talking to you is that he’s upset, although not upset with you! Men are often put under toxic pressure from society that causes them to feel uneasy opening up and showing their emotions.
Most of the time, when sad, men like to go into their little man cave and hide. They often fear that if they show their emotions, they might look weak and not strong – so they close themselves off from others.
He could be sad for another reason, and might be taking some space to see how he can manage his sadness.
If you feel that he is upset, do your best to make sure your boyfriend has the space he needs. He’ll need time to process his feelings. Once he comes to you, show him your support and be there for him as his girlfriend. He may not appreciate it at first, but looking back, he’ll realize how much you were there for him when he needed you the most.
4. He could be cheating on you.
As women, when our boyfriends aren’t talking to us, we sometimes jump to the worst possible scenario – cheating. It’s important to know that this might not always be the case, and it could be other reasons.
If your boyfriend regularly hangs out with other women, then it could be likely. The last thing he’ll want to do is to send a text to you that was meant for his new side chick or vice versa. Therefore you should not rule cheating out!
To know if your boyfriend is truly cheating on you or not, you have to remain calm. Ask your boyfriend out on a date, and make sure the date is an activity of his liking to see how he responds.
If he agrees, remember to look beautiful and engage in great conversation. In these moments, it’s important to remind him why he should be with you over other girls.
5. He’s jealous.
Is he a jealous person? Think about times in the past where he’s expressed his jealousy, and then think about whether you’ve been hanging out a lot with your girlfriends or guy friendss recently.
If you’ve been spending more time without him or trying to catch the attention of other men in front of him, he could really be taking it hard and getting jealous quite easily. As a result, he might not be responding to your messages or trying to avoid you completely to teach you a lesson.
If he’s jealous, don’t take his jealousy too much to heart. It’s his problem, not yours. If you respond viciously or negatively, it could make the situation even worse! Instead, just keep your head held high, smile, and be happy. As a result, he’ll want to spend more time with you.
One way to help ease his jealousy is to spend more one-on-one couple time with him. Many couples do this by incorporating a date day or night into their hectic schedules. This will allow the romantic bond to blossom even more.
Check out 23 Tips on How to Date a Person With Severe Trust Issues for some pointerds!
6. You’re coming across too clingy.
Easily obsessing over our men can actually be really annoying for them. Do you shower him with lots of affection or constantly call or message him? Maybe you nag them frequently or are always asking them for something, which makes it look like you’re dependent on them.
He might be taking time away from you to have breathing space and not be irritated by you.
Remember, the longer you don’t communicate with him, the more curious he’ll become. Check out these 11 Foolproof Ways to Make a Man Chase You Through Text; Sometimes men like the chase – and when you’re not in touch with him as often, you’ll automatically be restoring the power to yourself.
7. It may be part of who he is.
While you’re reading this post, take time out to really think about your boyfriend’s personality type. If he’s someone who’s laid back and takes forever to respond, it could just be his normal behavior – and you might be overreacting.
Try to wait until he contacts you or starts talking to you again. Then, tell him about your concerns. After all, a genuine relationship is about communication – and he should be willing to adjust to make his communication style inclusive of you in his life.
8. He finds talking to you boring.
Especially if you’ve been dating for a while, your partner could quickly get bored of you! This is perfectly natural and can happen to almost anyone in a relationship. If you talk daily, there might just be nothing to say – and conversations can nearly flatline. After all, small talk is pretty pointless.
For your boyfriend to not find you boring, you need to change the conversation and meet him halfway. Try to center your conversation around his interests, such as sports, music, hobbies, and anything else. Learn about his passions and try to enjoy them too; this will make him more appreciative of you.
It’s really easy to do! Everyone has passions, and once you find his, this will be one of the main ways to unlock his interests. Ask him follow-up questions about his passions to make sure he knows you’re engaged and feels appreciated.
9. You just had a fight.
Fights between couples are never nice and can cause a lot of problems. If you’ve recently just had a major argument, this could be a reason he’s stopped talking. After all, some people don’t respond well to conflict – and may need some time to calm down and introspect.
At this moment, it’s important to reflect on your fight and think about anything you might have said – and whether it was serious or bad. If you feel you might have said something particularly horrible, it’s important to own up and apologize to your boyfriend for your actions.
Once you apologize, don’t expect him to respond straight away; in fact, it may take some time for him to be okay with it. Upon receiving your apology, he can make an informed decision whether to open up and accept it or not.
10. He’s experiencing a problem.
There might be a major problem happening in your boyfriend’s life that he hasn’t told you about yet. If so, he could be trying to mentally process all of his emotions – and unconsciously ignoring you while he does so.
If your boyfriend is experiencing a problem as a result of your relationship, you’ll eventually know about it – but first, he might be taking time to understand it.
The same goes if it’s related to something else. At this moment, be patient and give your boyfriend time to figure it out. Unfortunately, it may take a while for him to open up depending on serious it is; it’s just a matter of being patient.
11. Your boyfriend doesn’t know how to communicate.
Sometimes, people just aren’t that good at expressing themselves – which might entirely be the case with your boyfriend. He may have misunderstood something you said, and just doesn’t know how to express what he wants to say.
Wait for your boyfriend to start talking to you again and then use the opportunity to work on your communication skills. It’s important not to lecture him or put him down if he’s wrong, as he may ignore you again! Try to work together as a team and find common ground on how to respond effectively.
This may not work instantly, but over time, you may find a way to resolve this. Couples therapy might also help you find a solution on overcoming your communication problems. These 13 Tips for Communicating Effectively With your Partner can give him some valuable tips!
The Bottom Line
It’s not unusual for your boyfriend to ignore you! In fact, many boyfriends do this to their girlfriends. If your boyfriend is ignoring you, it’s important not to panic nor to jump into defensive mode right away.
There could be a thousand reasons why he’s ignoring you. Remember that patience is key; give him space, and if he’s true to the relationship, he’ll eventually communicate the problem. One way you can get him to open up is by making him realize your value.