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18 Best Ways To Deal With An Insecure Boyfriend

  • Susan Moore
  • October 6, 2021
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Dealing with an insecure boyfriend can be a difficult task. They are always fishing for compliments and reassurance but still manage to find something wrong with you in the end.

Luckily, there are many ways that you can deal with this situation so it doesn’t get out of hand! Here is a list of our favorite 18 best ways to deal with an insecure boyfriend.

Table of Contents

  • 1) Let him know that you love and appreciate your relationship
  • 2) Be supportive
  • 3) Be generous with compliments
  • 4) Don’t be afraid to criticize – but do it correctly
  • 5) Show appreciation
  • 6) Don’t compare him to other men
  • 7) Don’t give up
  • 8) Let him know that you’re not going anywhere
  • 9) Love him unconditionally
  • 10) Be firm and give tough love
  • 11) Don’t talk about past relationships
  • 12) Keep an open mind about everything
  • 13) Tackle the root cause
  • 14) Show him how much effort you’re putting into fixing things
  • 15) Give your full attention when talking to him
  • 16) Don’t be afraid to ask for help
  • 17) Understand his point of view
  • 18) Give lots of affection whenever possible
  • FAQs
    • What if my boyfriend is insecure about his height?
    • What if he’s insecure about his weight?
    • What if he is insecure about my past relationships?
    • How do I know if his insecurity is crossing into controlling behavior?
    • What do I do if my insecure boyfriend starts acting jealous?
    • What if I’m not sure how to comfort my insecure boyfriend?
  • Conclusion

1) Let him know that you love and appreciate your relationship

This is probably the most important thing that you can do. Insecure boyfriends have a tendency to need constant reassurance from their partners, so it’s best for both of you if you show him just how much he means to you!

2) Be supportive

Insecurity in a relationship often comes from the feeling of being unsupported. Insecure boyfriends need to know that you have their back – no matter what. He should never feel like he is all alone when it comes to dealing with anything.

Make sure that you are there for him and show your support by lending an ear when he needs one most. This will help boost his confidence and make him realize how much more secure in the relationship he feels because of your presence!

3) Be generous with compliments

His tendency to be super insecure means that it’s up to you to keep his confidence high with compliments and reassurance. Give him lots of hugs and kisses when he needs them most! Just don’t go overboard with your praise because this can backfire in the future.

Complimenting him on things that are not directly related to outward appearance can also help boost his self-esteem without making him feel like you’re only complimenting what is already there (him).

Compliment how smart or funny he is, this will make sure that your praise isn’t focused completely on physical appearance alone.

4) Don’t be afraid to criticize – but do it correctly

This may seem like a double-edged sword, but it can actually work out well if you know what you’re doing. If your boyfriend says or does something that annoys or upsets you, simply let him know. He will appreciate the honesty and this will help strengthen your relationship in the future.

5) Show appreciation

No matter what, make sure you let your boyfriend know that his efforts are noticed and appreciated. Let him know how much he means to you, even if it’s something small like making the coffee in the morning or doing the dishes after dinner! Even though this may seem silly at first glance, these little things will help boost his confidence immensely.

6) Don’t compare him to other men

Comparing your boyfriend to other guys will only make him insecure about himself. Even if he still does it, just don’t pay attention! Don’t give in to the temptation of pointing out what you like about his friends or worse…another guy that you’ve dated in the past.

This is a surefire way for an argument to start and there’s no need to let things get that far when all you have to do is avoid mentioning certain topics altogether.

If he asks why you’re not talking about something anymore, simply say “I’m tired of arguing and just want to be positive when I’m with you.” and leave it at that. He’ll understand where you’re coming from and this should be enough explanation for now until he learns how to deal with his insecurities!

7) Don’t give up

This is by far the most important thing to do if you want your relationship to last! Even though it may seem like there’s no hope for improvement, just keep trying. Your boyfriend will appreciate the effort that you put into making him feel more secure about himself and this can only lead to a happier future together!

Don’t forget that insecure boyfriends are still human beings – they have feelings deep down inside them, even if they try their best not to show it sometimes.

The key here lies in patience…there’s always going be another fight or argument where he’ll make his insecurity known again, but as long as you stick with it, everything should work out fine eventually!

8) Let him know that you’re not going anywhere

He needs to be reassured, over and over again if necessary. Make sure he knows how much he means to you by letting him know that your relationship is more important than anything else in the world.

He may act like his insecurity comes before everything, but make it clear that this isn’t true at all. Nothing will stand between you two so long as both of you are willing to work on improving things together.

9) Love him unconditionally

This one is a bit difficult, but it’s totally worth it. Loving your boyfriend unconditionally means that you love him no matter what. Even if you try to make yourself stop loving someone, the feelings don’t disappear immediately and this can cause problems in future relationships as well as with his own confidence.

10) Be firm and give tough love

Don’t let his insecurity drag you down. You should be capable of standing on your own two feet and making decisions for yourself without feeling like there’s no point because he’ll just get upset anyway.

Make sure you are happy with each decision before it gets carried out, and know when to draw the line. It’s important that you protect your own mental health and happiness, even if that means calling things off with your boyfriend.

Don’t let him get away with treating you poorly just because he has low self-esteem. Stand up for yourself and know when to leave if necessary.

11) Don’t talk about past relationships

This is another touchy subject, so avoid talking about the past at all costs. If he brings up ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, simply excuse yourself from the conversation and find something else to talk about instead.

It’s perfectly fine if you want to vent every once in a while, but make sure that it doesn’t turn into an argument – this will only give him more reason to be insecure.

12) Keep an open mind about everything

This goes for both sides of the relationship; always stay calm and try to see things from his perspective before getting upset or trying too hard to prove yourself right all of the time. This can be difficult at first since insecurity can take over pretty quickly, but with enough patience (and love) this should become easier over time.

13) Tackle the root cause

This can be difficult if you don’t know what’s causing his insecurities, which is why it’s important for both of you to communicate as much as possible.

Talk about problems that he has with himself and try your best not to judge anything. It may seem like there are no solutions, but trust me, this is one of the most effective ways towards resolving any lingering issues – just take all criticism positively and always remember that everyone makes mistakes at some point or another!

14) Show him how much effort you’re putting into fixing things

Actions speak louder than words; make sure to show him (not tell him!) how hard you’re trying by keeping promises and commitments. If he feels like he can’t count on you, then he’ll only become more insecure – and this can cause a lot of trouble for both of you in the long run!

15) Give your full attention when talking to him

This is another simple one but it means a lot. When you’re talking with your boyfriend, make sure to give him 100% of your focus so that no matter what’s going on around you or inside his head he knows that nothing else exists except for the two of you!

This will mean the world to someone who already has issues trusting others (as well as himself) and should help fix those problems pretty quickly too.

16) Don’t be afraid to ask for help

When things get really tough, especially if you feel like you’re not getting anywhere, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are a lot of people out there who have been in your shoes and can offer advice that’s proven to work – so why waste all that energy when someone is ready and willing to lend a helping hand?

17) Understand his point of view

Insecurities with the opposite gender originate from experiences they’ve had in previous relationships or friendships, so it’s important to understand where he’s coming from. This will show him how much effort you’re putting into fixing things and means more rewards down the road – both emotionally and physically!

18) Give lots of affection whenever possible

Affection is something that everyone loves to receive, but is crucial in a relationship, especially if it’s lacking elsewhere. It doesn’t have to be sexual either, just little hugs and kisses every once in a while.

When you’re constantly reassuring someone of your love for them, they’ll begin feeling more secure about the present, which offers endless possibilities when it comes to exploring each other more intimately.

FAQs

What if my boyfriend is insecure about his height?

If your boyfriend feels like he’s not tall enough or that you could do better, the best thing to do is reassure him that it doesn’t bother you. You wouldn’t be with him if it was an issue, right?

What if he’s insecure about his weight?

If you feel like your partner needs to lose some weight or be healthier, it might make them more self-conscious and cause insecurity. It may not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, these feelings can build up and eventually affect the relationship.

If this ever happens (or already has), don’t let it bother you! Talk to them instead of keeping quiet about it. A good idea is to make the conversation about his health. Let him know that their health is important to you so they’ll be more willing to take care of themselves.

What if he is insecure about my past relationships?

Insecurity is a natural feeling, although it may not seem like it. Everyone has been through at least one bad relationship before – if you haven’t, that’s great!

But for those who have, there’s nothing to be ashamed of – so don’t let him change the way you feel about your past relationships because they were all a part of shaping who you are today.

How do I know if his insecurity is crossing into controlling behavior?

If your boyfriend is always asking you where you’ve been and who you were with, it may be a sign that he doesn’t trust or respect your decisions. These kinds of behaviors are never healthy in any kind of relationship, so if this happens to you, take the necessary steps to break away from them.

What do I do if my insecure boyfriend starts acting jealous?

Jealousy can easily get out of hand when someone feels threatened by their partner’s behavior. If your guy seems overly protective or possessive about everything that you’re doing, then talk things over together.

Try to explain how his actions make you feel because ultimately, no one likes being stalked around all day just because they have other friends.

What if I’m not sure how to comfort my insecure boyfriend?

It can be extremely difficult for someone who is insecure to open up about their feelings. If you are in a relationship with this type of person, try your best to always let them know that they don’t have anything to worry about. The only thing you care about is being together!

Even though it may seem like there’s nothing wrong, most people deal with insecurity on some level, so pay attention and take what they say seriously. It could help improve your relationship tremendously!

Conclusion

If you’re dealing with an insecure boyfriend, it’s important to recognize the signs so you can help them feel comfortable and confident in your relationship.

You should not feel like you’re walking on eggshells when it comes to your boyfriend’s insecurities. If the relationship is important enough, then everything should be talked about and handled accordingly.

There are many ways that someone can deal with an insecure partner, but over time, if they aren’t receptive or don’t make efforts of their own, there might come a point where a breakup becomes inevitable.

Make sure to take care of yourself first, because no one deserves to be treated poorly, insecurities or not.

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