So you think you don’t need a man in your life?
Maybe you’ve had your fair share of heartbreak, so now you contemplate calling it quits on men.
Maybe you’re an independent woman and having someone oversee your every step feels like being trapped in a cage.
Whatever the case may be, you just want some reassurance that the single life is the right choice for you. After all, you keep seeing your friends jump from one relationship to another, and your mom keeps asking to meet her future son-in-law.
All of this may seem overwhelming and lonely. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only person around insisting they don’t need a man.
But here is the truth.
There are plenty of good reasons why you should choose to break the habit of ending up in unhappy relationships. And trust me, after reading this, you WILL get hooked on the solo life!
Have you ever watched a Disney movie and couldn’t get over how amazing the princesses’ life got once she met her prince?
Well, so have I.
The film ‘Cinderella’ could be a perfect example of this.
Her life was miserable and hopeless before she met Prince Charming. She was unaware of her beauty and worth and didn’t know how to be assertive.
And then she met him! Her handsome prince came into her life and magically made things better. He gave her a purpose.
But that’s nonsense!
No man can ever do that if you’re unhappy with life in the first place.
To find true happiness and fulfilment, you must first step back and take a long and hard look at how things really are.
Look at your life and asses it first.
- What do you want to achieve that you haven’t yet?
- How are you mentally? Are you depressed or anxious?
- Why do you really feel like you need someone to validate the meaning of your life? Is there something missing?
By asking yourself these questions, you will become more self-aware and in-tune with yourself. Writing your answers down may further help to evaluate your perceptions of things.
And who knows, maybe you’ll discover something new about yourself in the process!
Now, I’m not saying all romantic relationships can make life more difficult, because that’s not true. But I will tell you this.
Relationships can have a negative effect on health. Because relationships = stress and stress = health problems.
Still not convinced?
Well, consider this.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn’t trust your partner? Where you wanted to buy yourself something nice, but he insisted you didn’t need it? Where, he (maybe more than once) stole the covers from your side of the bed?
Well, that’s stressful! And I’m not even going to mention loud snoring, jealousy, computer games, controlling behaviour, porn addiction, etc. because that’s worthy of another debate.
The bottom line is this. There is so much we have to deal with on a daily basis. Why add another source of anxiety into the mix?
So next time you’re questioning whether you need a man in your life – come back to this list and remind yourself that you don’t need stress (and that’s what relationships often give)!
If you’re single, you can do what you please. That means being your own person and spending all the money on yourself (be careful with that, have you watched ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’?!).
There’s no need to make confessions, promises, or dinner. You’re the only person that holds yourself accountable.
So go out with your friends, join a gym or live off a bag of Doritos – your choice! But at least you don’t have to worry about bed crumbs (unless that’s your thing…).
And let’s not forget matters of greater importance – by going relationship-free you can focus on personal growth and development.
Now would be a good time to think about what you want to achieve in life and how to get there. Perhaps you could go back to school or enrol on an online course. You could also think about starting your own business.
Not having anything that can distract you from your personal goals is vital if you want to achieve success. And let’s face it – who doesn’t?
By being able to focus solely on yourself and your needs, you can become a better version of you.
That’s why, if you say you enjoy the solo life and someone else nervously replies ‘why?!’, you can, with a smile, give them a whole lot of reasons why being alone is awesome.
If you like science, then I have good news (and a bad one, too)!
A study from 2018 reveals that being single gets better with age and contributes to increased life satisfaction!
So you may now complain about being single, but, according to research, you may learn to love and appreciate it as you get older.
After all, no one will ever understand you as much as you do. And the same goes for them.
Even if you’ve been with your partner for many years, you will never truly be able to get into their head. And this can cause problems further down the line.
And here goes the bad news (not if you’re single, though!).
I don’t mean to patronize, but I’m sure you’ve heard stories about cheating men (maybe you even experienced cheating yourself).
The thing is, a lot of men cheat. According to research, 75% of men admitted to cheating (!) in one way or another.
Remaining faithful seems to present a huge problem for people nowadays. So it may be better to forgo relationships all together!
Again, I am not saying all men cheat. But you have to agree – the research is startling!
Take a close look at Jennifer Aniston, Diane Keaton or Jane Fonda. Do you know what they all have in common?
They are all single, and not ready to mingle (and have been for years!).
It seems that not having a man in your life (or kids!) makes you age slower.
Well, of course, these actresses have probably had some kind of surgery, Botox and the like. Nevertheless, they look hella fine for their ages, don’t you think?
But how is it possible that ditching relationships can keep you youthful?
According to a 2013 study from Health Psychology, it may have something to do with stressing less and exercising more regularly.
The study found that those in long-term relationships tend to gain weight AND take lesser care of their overall health.
Apparently, this is caused by becoming complacent about their looks. Which makes sense, as being single is often associated with a higher income and more time for self-care.
So why don’t we stop buying that expensive anti-wrinkle creams and embrace single life instead!
Travelling is a wonderful thing.
It allows you to keep your mind away from everyday life, create new friendships and explore the wonderful planet Earth. And while travelling with a partner can be rewarding, what happens when you decide to move to the other side of the world?
Think back to your previous relationships and contemplate whether, whilst being with them, you could have moved anywhere you wanted?
What I mean is – you went on a holiday to a beautiful island. You fell in love with it’s warm, sandy beaches and calm, blue waters. You begin to imagine how great it would feel to stay there forever.
You share this thought with your man, and he gawks at you in disbelief. ‘You know we can’t‘. He says.
What if the only thing stopping you from moving to that island was another human being who, for some reason, did not appreciate your dreams?
Or maybe he couldn’t leave his job/family/friends/dog. You get the idea.
What I’m getting at here is – being alone permits you to do things (even crazy things), that would not be possible had you settled down.
And wouldn’t life be a better place, had relationships stopped having such a command over our lives? I think yes, don’t you?
If the freedom of choice is still a thing (and I’m pretty sure it is), then freedom of movement outside of your relationship should be one, too!
It’s true – your lover can be your best friend. But not always!
To be honest, finding the right mate can be quite a task. And after all these years and all the failed relationships, you may start to wonder, ‘Why am I even doing this again?’.
But wouldn’t it be easier (and more fun!) to spend time with people that you know think like you? Those lifelong friends, siblings or even parents?
They deserve your attention, too!
It’s quite common for people to get so sucked into new relationships that they begin to neglect those closest to them.
And even though friendships can loosen up over time, these people will still be your friends in the end. When your affair ends, though, it ends. Most likely forever.
It’s not to say that you should become indifferent towards your partner, but at this point, you should at least make a plan to call your bestie again this week! That is unless you have a man, because if you don’t – you should be arranging a night out with the girls right away!
Let’s not forget that romantic relationship break-offs can prove to be excruciatingly painful. Luckily, your friends will have your back!
And you can have their when breakups happen to them.
But could you rely on your boyfriend to console you if your friendships break off? Not necessarily.
So who’s more worthy of your time – the sweet grandma who always bakes that amazing cake when you visit or the guy you’ve been dating for years, though he still hasn’t proposed?
Because why would you even need a reason?
Be single, be independent, be happy! People might judge, but they always will. Instead of trying to justify your choices, learn to dismiss those who criticize.
Embrace your life as it is or change it, but the choice is yours and yours alone.
Say ‘stop‘ to those who push you into relationships or encourage you to find a partner. Don’t ever let yourself believe that you are not enough.
Of course, things may sometimes get difficult. Especially if you get invited to a wedding or watch romantic movies.
Sure, you may tear up or get lonely when this happens, but if it does, that’s fine!
Just take a minute to compose yourself, take a deep breath and think about all the reasons why being single is great. How many doors it can open, how many new possibilities.
Soon, you’ll learn to recognize the flaws in relationships and how potentially constricting they can be.
So enjoy your freedom and all the perks that come with it! Think about this as an exciting chapter, one, that can change your life for the better.
Instead of getting jealous of other people’s relationships or agitating yourself about the things you’re missing, consider what you may be gaining.