When you meet the right guy who treats you the way you deserve, you can tell straight away why it didn’t work out with your ex (who just played with you).
While some men like to keep a girl around but never commit and prefer to keep all their independence, the guy who wants a relationship will be totally comfortable moving things forward with you. It’ll be easy.
There’s that special period after you’ve started dating someone when you can’t help but wonder:
Is he serious about me?
Does he see me as girlfriend material?
Does he want something more than just sex?
Will he say he loves me?
Often a guy won’t lay all his cards out on the dating table, so if you’re wondering whether he wants something serious with you, read on. We’ve collated 13 surefire signs a guy wants a relationship and not just a fling.
1. He doesn’t make you chase him.
A guy that’s serious about you won’t play games with you. He will be available to you and always around when you need him. That means he won’t put you in the weird position of having to chase after him or begging for his attention.
Guys who only want sex or something casual thrive on the idea that women want to chase them. It boosts their ego and makes them enjoy being single and free to pick whoever they like.
A guy who sees you as relationship material wouldn’t want to jeopardize their chances with you just to play some silly dating games. He’ll be doing these things naturally:
- When you text him, he always texts back. Even if it takes him a little longer than usual, he doesn’t just leave you on “seen”.
- He doesn’t talk about other women or put you in a situation where you may wonder whether he’s sleeping around. He isn’t giving you reasons to be jealous and insecure.
- He doesn’t feel the need to put on an act around you. He’s truly himself and he knows that’s enough to win your heart.
- He doesn’t reschedule plans last minute or use the “I’m busy” excuse when you know that he isn’t.
- He shows you signs that he wants a real partner and commitment, and he isn’t afraid to give up a little bit of his independence.
2. He wants you to meet his friends.
A guy who wants a relationship and not just a fling isn’t ashamed to introduce you to all his friends. He doesn’t think “it’s too soon”, and he isn’t worried about what they’ll say about you or how it’ll be labeled. He’s proud to introduce you and make you a part of his social circle.
He is excited by the idea of double dates and you tagging along on Friday night with the guys. Incorporating you into his life comes naturally to him because he knows he wants something serious with you.
3. He wants you to meet his mother.
If a guy is ready to introduce you to the most important woman in his life you know you’ve got yourself a keeper. Some guys might want you to meet her really early on, which can be a little daunting, but it usually means they are dead serious about you and want her blessing before things get serious. What’s the point in waiting?
Actually, meeting his family early on can make things a lot easier later on in the relationship. It’s a bit part of his life – so why wouldn’t you want to tick that off as soon as he asks? Find out what his family is like so you can be a little prepared.
The way he treats you in front of his family is also a good indication of his feelings towards you. If he’s gushing with pride about all your accomplishments, then you know he’s smitten. He just wants to show you off and isn’t afraid of how soon it is!
Just don’t forget to bring flowers for his mom; that’s always a lovely gesture that wins mothers over!
4. He shares everything with you.
A guy that wants more than a fling will open up to you and share everything there is to know about him; no hiding, and no pretense. He’s comfortable when you ask personal questions and find out about his ex-girlfriends, his childhood, or his most embarrassing moments.
When something good happens to him, he texts you first. You are the person he wants to impress and share the good news with. You know he definitely wants you in his life for the long run.
5. He treats you with respect.
He thinks you’re awesome, and he wants to spend all his time with you – so he treats you with respect, and he’s loyal to you. You just know that you can trust him and rely on him for support. He respects you, your friends, your interests, and your little quirks.
A guy who wants a relationship wouldn’t be trying to change you or make snarky comments about aspects of your life he doesn’t approve of. He will be open to finding out more about you and treating you with respect, first and foremost.
He opens the door for you, he helps you with carrying your shopping, and he wants to be the guy you ask for help; it’s what makes him feel happy. He isn’t trying to keep appearances for appearance’s sake – he’s the knight in shining armor you’ve been hoping for.
6. He would never ask for a nude picture.
The guy that’s only after a fling will probably be sending you nude pictures, as he will do to other women he’s trying to sleep with.
On the other hand, the guy who wants a relationship wouldn’t jeopardize your good opinion of him by being so inappropriate, especially early on before getting to know you. That’s one way to tell the serious guy from the player.
7. All his attention is on you.
A guy who is keeping his options open will be talking to every woman around him, and wouldn’t care how it’s being perceived. A guy who wants a relationship and not just a fling will only have eyes for you.
You wouldn’t need to wonder whether he’s talking to other women. You’d just know that all his attention is on you. He’s working his way to impress you and ensure that no other guy takes his spot before him.
8. He compliments you beyond your physical appearance.
While a guy who’s only after one thing will make comments about your body features and be direct about it, the guy who wants more than sex will be noticing other things about you. He’ll compliment your wittiness, your sense of humor, and your intellect.
You know he really sees you for who you are, beyond just your physical features.
9. He’s ready to give up the bachelor life.
A guy that’s committed to you wouldn’t care if you get labeled as a couple early on or if he spends more time with you than with his friends. He doesn’t cling to his single status for dear life. He knows he’s got a good thing.
He’s happy to give up the bachelor life and knows that dating you isn’t about losing his independence – but about making space for a loving relationship, which far outweighs the disadvantages.
10. He never bails on you.
A big sign he wants more than just a fling is how he treats you in his day-to-day interactions. A guy who is ready to commit won’t bail on you, won’t stand you up, and won’t be late when you make plans.
He won’t flake out on you last minute or disappear in between dates. He’ll text you to say goodnight and check in on you during the day. He won’t be counting the dates until he gets to sleep with you but will enjoy each and every opportunity he gets to spend time with you.
11. He doesn’t pressure you to have sex.
A guy who wants more than a fling wouldn’t rush you to have sex with him like someone who’s only in it for the good time. He will appreciate your pace and be fine with it. He won’t pressure you with comments or counting date numbers.
12. He says “I love you”.
Someone who wants just a fling won’t be opening up or admitting he likes you, let alone say “I love you”. The four-letter word completely changes the game and moves you quickly from casual dating to a lot more!
If the guy you’re dating isn’t afraid to admit his feelings and say “I love you” first, then you know he’s in it for the long run. A guy who loves you wouldn’t be able to contain the happiness he feels when you’re around. He’ll want to tell you how he feels, or if he isn’t ready to say it, he’ll be doing everything he can to show you.
Actions can speak even louder than words. If the way he treats you shows you that he’s serious and only has eyes for you, show him you want that too.
13. He makes plans for the future.
He’s serious about you, so he wants to know you’ll be in his life in the future. He asks about your life plans and ambitions, whether it’s school, work, or travel. He wants to make sure you’re on the same page, and that there’s hope this will be a long-term relationship.
He is willing to compromise and adjust his plans so you can be together. Nothing comes between you.
The Bottom Line
The guy who wants a relationship with you (and not just a fling) will ultimately be the guy who sticks around. He won’t bail on you or disappear when things start to get serious. He won’t ghost you, and he’ll treat you disrespectfully.
You can also tell how serious a guy would be about you by the company he keeps and how he spends his free time. If all he does is hang out with a bunch of guys, drinking beer, and talking about women, then you know he’s not grown up enough for a mature relationship.
Go for the guy that you might have been overlooking (or that you might’ve put in the friend zone). Go for the emotionally stable guy, the mature guy, the one who talks about more than looks and people, the guy with a passion for his job or a hobby.
The kind-hearted guy isn’t afraid of commitment or opening up about his feelings – and that’s the guy worth being with.