Do your emotions tend to get the best of you to a point that they totally affect how you feel and act?
Would people describe you as a moody person who gets annoyed if they don’t get things their way?
Is your boyfriend often treading on eggshells around you, just to avoid pissing you off?
Do you feel like snapping at him just because he can’t relate to how you are feeling?
Are you often irritable without a direct reason?
If the above descriptions sound scarily like you, then it’s time for a big change! The good news is – you are in charge of your moods, as confusing as they might be at times.
We’ve all got moods and they can of course shift with time, age, and situations, but if you don’t want to risk losing your boyfriend because of your moods, then the following proven ways to deal with them will come in very handy.
Remember there is no one-size-fits-all and no magic cure! The work starts and ends with yourself. Remember that you might not be able to change other people and situations, but you can change how you react to them. Take note of the below list of proven ways to fight bad moods and feel better.
1. Work on your personality
If you are a moody type of person you are probably like that with everyone around you, not just your boyfriend. Of course, those closest to us will always put up with more, but it doesn’t mean that we should burden them more!
You probably can’t just snap at your colleagues or boss, just because you feel like it, but you are being moody with the one you love? Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean that he can take your moods either!
Being moody is definitely a personality trait, and like any personality trait, it’s up to you to work on it. Make personality work a priority! Your words, actions, and expressions should be grounded in your core values and principles, which make you who you are.
This way no matter what your mood is in the moment, and how much you feel like snapping, or closing off, or being difficult, it will be up to you to remind yourself that your moods clash with your personality.
You are a lady! Act like one! Control your emotions, focus on your circle of influence, and don’t let anything and anyone vex you – the more you do, the more you give power to external factors and making yourself weaker.
Whatever the situation, even if you feel like screaming, don’t let your moodiness overpower you, and take its toll on your emotional intelligence. Moods can drive others away and be a really big turn-off.
You don’t want people avoiding your company or labelling you as unpleasant to be around, right?
Then work on it! It really is up to you!
2. Remember good manners
Simply remembering your good manners and how grown-ups act around their loved ones can prevent your worst outbursts. Be polite, don’t offend your boyfriend, don’t speak in anger just because you feel like it.
Good manners are so underrated in this day and age, but they certainly go a long way! If in doubt – ask yourself what would a lady do? How would she act? Like a moody, deranged person, or with respect and classiness?
And if you want to be a classy lady just be her!
3. Review your behavior
As with other things in life, sometimes we just need to pause and take inventory of ourselves. How are you being with your boyfriend? Calm and loving, or moody and difficult?
What angers you? What makes you come out of your skin?
Do you blame your boyfriend for your moods? He might just walk away from you and you will blame him for that too!
What kind of a person do you want to be? Calm, contained, compassionate, confident, classy? What are you like when you are at your best?
Yes, it’s hard work but reviewing one’s behavior and asking for feedback periodically is the best way to improve oneself. Write it down if it helps you and stick it on a wall or as a phone background – sometimes just looking at an inspirational quote can remind you of your goals.
During periods of moodiness, take frequent inventory of your behavior and actions – are you endangering your relationships – with your boyfriend and others?
4. Be your best self every day
Want to bring in positive change to your mood and your boyfriend’s life? Be contagious in a positive way! Spread good mood wherever you go – smile, laugh, don’t take things too seriously.
Be the person who people are happy to see enter a room, not happy when they leave!
Work on your optimism and positivity daily, and when you are in a really bad mood, do your best not to take it out on others, especially your boyfriend, who loves you!
5. Find a role model
Who is it in your life that you admire and like the most? What kind of behavior and emotions do they exhibit?
Are they emotionally lost and confused, moody and grumpy, defensive and negative?
I bet they are the exact opposite to this! The person you see as a role model is probably someone you aspire to be more like – happy, enthusiastic, optimistic, kind, and generous.
They make people feel relaxed and good in their company. They are always surrounded by people and good energy. Mirror this behavior and you will soon see yourself take much better control of your moods. Give yourselves daily challenges to channel your role model.
6. See the good in others
Moodiness will surely come from both internal and external sources – something that isn’t quite working out as it should. However, if you channel your energy on finding the good in others (and making the best out of a bad situation) then there’s no way your bad mood could persevere for long.
Focus on what is right, not what is wrong. Look for positive signs, appreciate and recognize them. By looking for the good in others, you will also be bringing out the good in yourself.
7. Stop making every problem worse
Whatever it is that your boyfriend said or did, that you think got you in a bad mood, it’s your choice how much energy you give it. Don’t forget that being moody to him will hurt both your moods and erode the intimacy between you.
Focus on self-processing and analyzing your feelings, not merely reacting to them. This means also spending some time alone to process your moods. Do your best to find out why you feel the way you feel, and look for ways to get a grip on yourself.
There are many things you can do!
8. Practice mindfulness and breathing exercises
It works wonders for the mood when you know how to calm your mind and simply be in the moment. Whether it’s through yoga, meditation or simply slowing down your breath, you will see immediate positive relief.
The bad mood might still be there, but at least you will be aware of it and not letting it taking hold of you. Instead of stomping around and venting, blaming your boyfriend for how bad you feel, take charge!
There are so many immediate things you can do to improve how you feel: listen to music, exercise, dance, sing, practice a hobby – most of all you need to find ways to channel your negative energy into something productive.
9. Reduce caffeine and alcohol
Funnily enough, if your moods fluctuate often, having more coffee or alcohol won’t help calm them down. On the contrary – caffeine will surely make you more irritable and agitated, so watch your intake.
And if you feel sad or moody it may feel like the most normal thing to just drown your sorrows in alcohol. You couldn’t be more wrong! Alcohol is never the answer, especially if you don’t really know the source of your irritability.
Consider cutting back on your caffeine during the day and alcohol at night and watch how your moods improve.
10. Stop working so hard
One of the reasons you might be cranky often is because you are a high achiever and you just can’t help taking on too much. Nothing wrong with having big goals and working hard but realize that your relationship might suffer as a result of this!
If you like to burn the midnight oil, you never get more than 4-5 hours of sleep and are always rushing from one task to another, then your mood will definitely suffer.
Your body and mind need rest to recharge themselves, and nothing does more for a good mood than a solid 8 hours of sleep. Next time you find yourself really moody with your boyfriend, cut down on the stress and the work, and simply go to bed. Thank us later!
11. Bad moods run in your family…so what are you going to do?
It’s true that being irritable or moody is often the result of family nurture. If one (or even both) parent was often moody, sad, or irritable, it’s quite easy to pick up as a personality trait. And even harder to eradicate later in life.
If you grew up being surrounded by people expressing negative feelings often, then no wonder you can’t stop doing it yourself!
As always you have to remember that you are in charge of yourself and your life, so acknowledge the bad precedent set in your family and choose not to be like that. Would you want to pass it over to your children one day? Likely not!
12. Ask for support or professional help
If you are failing to control your moods around your boyfriend, then it’s time to ask for support. It’s humbling to admit that you don’t know how to help yourself and need his help. Be honest about it and come up with a plan together as to how he can help you snap out of it.
Whatever you do – don’t make your moods his burden or he will end up resenting you. If he loves you, he will be there for you, but don’t take advantage of it.
There’s light at the end of the tunnel
When it comes to being moody it’s often the little things that we allow to vex us. Being honest with yourself about what’s truly bothering you is the best way to take charge of your emotions.
Another thing you can do is simply to show yourself compassion. Acknowledge in your head that you are irritated, or annoyed, or moody, define the feeling, then choose not to react to it.
Get a hug from your boyfriend, sit alone in silence to deal with your feelings, read a book, go for a walk. There are so many things you can do to snap out of it, that you are probably not even considering.
Do your best every day to rid yourself of nervous energy. Ignore people who make you irritated. Acknowledge situations that ALWAYS get you moody and annoyed and try to avoid them. Choose how you spend your energy – in school, with friends, at work, at home.
Being irritable, especially without a clear source, means it’s time to create some change in your life – be it work, habits, where you live, or even who you date.
Focus on self-care and get to the root of your irritability. Only by knowing yourself well, will you be able to eradicate the bad moods for good and make space for living the wonderful life you are capable of.