When it comes to relationships, everyone is different – but there are certain behaviors and characteristics that make categorizing a man pretty easily. Early on in a relationship, even after a few dates, you can probably tell what kind of a boyfriend he is and what kind of a relationship you’re likely to have.
Whether he opens the door for you, texts you often, wants to meet your friends, or ghosts you – these little things are a great indication of what he’s like in a relationship, and can help you decide if he’s the one for you.
Read on to learn about the 12 different types of boyfriends and what kind of relationship you can expect to have with each of them. Can you spot one you’ve dated?
1. The Nice Guy
The nice guy is easy to spot. He’s the one who risks being friend-zoned by you, because he’s so nice, you just want to have him as a friend. He is everything your mum would tell you to look for in a man:
- He’s genuine, kind, and romantic.
- He puts you first and truly cares for your happiness.
- He isn’t playing games
- He won’t bail on you.
- He’s truly there for you.
- He loves you for who you are.
All women say they’re looking for a nice guy, but say, “there are no more nice guys left out there.” The truth is, there are plenty of nice guys – but women usually go after the guy who seems risky, a little mysterious, and hard to get. They go after the “bad guy”, or the “sexy guy”, and wonder why they get their heart broken over and over again.
If you go for this guy, your life will be happy and fulfilled. He won’t embarrass you in front of your parents or be nasty to your best friends, and he won’t try to control you and change you. He’s the guy worth fighting for, and worth marrying.
2. The Asshole
The complete opposite of the nice guy is of course the boyfriend who’s a complete asshole. He’s just a jerk – and can’t help himself. Some of his characteristics can include:
- Completely self-obsessed
- Emotionally bullies and manipulates you
- Tells you what you can and can’t wear
- Controls who you hang out and spend time with
- He might ghost and bail on you
- He’ll say things like “I can’t deal with you right now. You’re being crazy.”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of the asshole, because he’s often disguised as the cool, charismatic guy, with a lot of confidence. Beware of that! His ego will be the most important thing for him, and it won’t be you.
The asshole won’t know how to satisfy your needs or how to put the relationship first because he’s too invested in his own needs. He can literally ruin your life – so stay as far away as possible from him!
3. The Jealous Guy
The jealous boyfriend is one of the nastiest types to get involved with. He just won’t let you live your own life, and will try to control you and obsess over you. The jealous type just can’t control his emotions; you are his and he wants the whole world to know!
It all starts as a joke at first…
Where are you going?
Who are you meeting?
When will you be back?
Will you text me later?
Why didn’t you text me?
Where there any guys there?
Don’t you love me?
Where were you when I texted you last night!?!
He’s emotionally manipulative and uses blame language to keep you in his trap. He doesn’t like when you hang out without him, he doesn’t like the idea of you being in the company of other men, and he’s even jealous of your best friends.
He wants you to spend all your time with him, because he’s insecure and needs validation. He will always need to be reassured that you love him, and care for him the most. He’ll tell you he loves you so much so he doesn’t want to share you with anybody or anything else.
He’s always on edge when you are having a night out. He will text every five minutes, so you can’t relax either. He’s possessive and can’t see that he’s ruining the whole relationship.
He will freak out if you mention another guy in his company. You wouldn’t even dare joke about it. He asks about all your exes and insists on knowing everything. He slowly but surely alienates you from all your friends and family.
The only way out is a break up before it gets worse, and you know it!
4. The Insecure Guy
The insecure boyfriend is similar to the jealous one, but a lot more narcissistic. He is self-obsessed, but has an extremely low self-esteem. He worries about everything: Why did she take so long to text me back? Will she meet someone else and dump me? Why hasn’t she said “I love you” yet?
The insecure boyfriend is unsure about his own position in society and has a lot of personal stuff to work through before he should be dating someone. He can’t tell a good thing when he’s got it, and usually messes up his relationships. No self-respectable woman wants to be around him for too long.
You might hear him say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
5. The Free Spirit
The free-spirited, “wild” boyfriend seems like someone out of a Hollywood movie, and every woman’s “dream”. He’s the rebel your mum warned you about; maybe he’s covered in tattoos, likes to hitch hike and disappear for weeks on end just to clear his head.
He can’t keep a job because he can’t commit to society’s constraints and expectations of him. He lives for adventure and adrenaline, and has never had a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of months.
Although he may be exciting to be around, he won’t be making compromises with his lifestyle just to be with you. Even if you think you’re the woman who can change him, think again. You can’t, so why do you want to?
The bad boy is usually a bad boy for life, but whilst it looks attractive and seductive when he’s in his twenties, later on in life it’s just pathetic and weird. He isn’t made for commitment like marriage and family.
6. The Shy One
The shy boyfriend might look really cute, is nice, humble and quiet, and has probably never been in a serious relationship before.
Being shy usually comes with indecisiveness, a lack of initiative and a general confusion about everything. It means you’ll have to take the lead in the relationship and make most of the decisions – which can be a bit tedious.
He won’t take the first step and definitely won’t initiate any important conversations you need to have in relationships. After a while, his lack of confidence will most likely get on your nerves.
7. The Depressive Type
He is a very specific type of man, and is another type of boyfriend you should stay well clear of. There is a sense of melancholy to him, which is always present.
He always feels like the victim of everything. The world, society, his boss, friends, and family are all against him. He needs saving, and he’s turning to you!
His whole life revolves around you and the relationship. You’re his only joy, his savior, and the only person he truly trusts – which can surprisingly become really burdensome.
Being someone’s sole source of happiness and optimism is a huge task. He should be able to be happy on his own.
8. The Macho-man
If you’re dating a “macho man”, run. He always thinks he knows best, does best, and is the best at everything. He expects you to be a certain type of woman and fill a particular role in order for you to be worthy of his love.
He’s stuck in a patriarchal past – and you won’t be able to change his attitude. As a result, he will expect you to be something between a mother and a maid. He doesn’t know what you truly need in a relationship and doesn’t care all that much. As long as his needs are met, he’s happy!
There are always different rules for you than for him. He can do anything he likes – while you need to maintain a certain image in order for him to be with you.
9. The Closeted Guy
Even in this day and age, coming out is still not as easy for all everyone as it should be. It’s common for a woman to date someone who’s actually in the closet. Everything about him screams ‘gay’, but you can’t see it – because you’re too busy falling for him.
He’s perfect in every sense of the word!
- He’s kind, generous, loving, and intelligent.
- He notices things about you.
- Your girlfriends love hanging out with him.
- He says and does all the right things.
The best way for him to hide the fact he’s gay is to be with a woman. In the eyes of society, that should be enough to conceal his secret – but it’s not fair to you!
What he says: “I am not ready to have sex yet. It’s not you, it’s me…”
10. The Long-term Relationship Guy
This guy always seems to be in a long-term monogamous relationship. He’s the serial dater, who is literally never single – and jumps from one long-term girlfriend to another, almost as if it’s a professional sport.
He loves being in a relationship. He changes his Facebook relationship status right away and shares pictures of his girlfriend on social media.
Be careful getting involved with this guy; he will easily replace you with another girl, who will probably look just like you.
11. The Co-worker
You’ve always gotten along great at work. Maybe you bond complaining about your boss and spend your lunches together – and now, he’s not just your office buddy, he’s your sort-of boyfriend. The tricky bit is remaining professional at work, and making sure nobody finds out.
Dating a co-worker is almost always a bad idea. Unless you end up marrying him and being with him for life, it’s probably not worth it. It can make your work life harder, and you’ll be miserable seeing him every day post break-up.
Do yourself a favor and date outside of work. Find someone you can share more things in common with other than work.
12. The Man-child
This guy is a total baby! He’s super attached to his old hoody, throws tantrums when you beat him at a board game, and is totally out of line in most life situations.
He doesn’t have a clue what a savings account or a pension plan is. He still acts like he’s 15 and doesn’t have a care in the world. He refuses to adult and take responsibility in life, and probably spends his day playing video games, drinking beer or sleeping.
He can’t believe you’d want to break up with him, and will surely make you feel guilty for dumping him. He might even say something like “If you leave me, I’ll die alone.”
Our guide to the 12 different types of boyfriends should help you to avoid some of them. Do yourself a favor – look for a decent boyfriend who will treat you right and have respect for themselves and for you.