Evolution has changed man from Neanderthal to the Homo sapiens we know him as today. However, while men now wear dapper T-shirts and work in lucrative jobs, there is one thing that some men have just not evolved past. It’s their dominant nature.
These are men who like to be the center of attention of social gatherings. They want to command respect from peers, seniors, and juniors alike. When they marry, they want the typical marriage setup. They want a 9-to-5 job with a wife who stays at home and bears and raises his children. The operative word here is obedience.
Some Women Like It Dominant
While dominance may carry a negative connotation to it, some women prefer dominant husbands. They admire their leadership qualities and how they can take charge of any situation. These women find it attractive that their husbands command the room with their strong voices and intimidating demeanor. Another great quality that makes them swoon is how powerful they are in bed.
For some, dominant husbands are dominant in all the right places.
Most Women, Don’t
Most women cannot tolerate an overpowering husband. They find it hard to compromise and “obey” their husbands. For them, equality is the best policy. These wives prefer equal wages, equal responsibilities, and similar duties. They like men in their kitchens too, and not just plopped down in front of a TV.
These women command respect, too.
Signs Your Husband Is Dominant
Here are some surefire signs your husband is the most dominant power in the house.
You Have To Seek Permission
It is one thing to inform your husband that you might be going out with your friends for a small luncheon. But waiting for him to approve your plan is something else. If him saying no means you can’t go out; chances are he’s dominant.
He Demands More, Gives Less
Does your husband expect the house to be squeaky clean when he comes home from the office? Even when he knows you work too and leave the house the same time he does? Does he expect warm home-cooked meals on the dinner table without ever lifting a finger?
If you said yes to these questions, there is a high chance your husband is a domineering force to be reckoned with.
He Dismisses Your Opinion
From trivial issues to what he should wear to a party to important matters like buying a new house or car, if your husband dismisses your opinion, you might have a problem on your hands.
If he hears your opinion and goes against it sometimes, it’s normal. However, if he ignores your opinion because he thinks it’s irrelevant or “wrong,” my friend, you’ve to reconsider your mister.
He Controls What You Can Or Cannot Wear
Deciding what you can or cannot wear in the bedroom is a dilemma we’ll leave to you and your husband. However, if you wear a dress that makes you look sexy and your husband right away asks, “You’re going to wear that?” it might be a problem.
Your husband objecting to what you can and cannot wear means he doesn’t trust you.
He Checks Your Phone
The jury is confused about this one. Many couples stand by the opinion that it’s okay to show your spouse your phone because you have nothing to hide.
However, many couples believe that it isn’t a question of hiding things but rather one of trust. Trust is one of the pillars of marriage. If your spouse doesn’t trust you, the answer is simple – he mistrusts you.
He Insults You In Public
A dominant husband tries to assert his dominance on you by insulting you, especially in public places. He will pick at your appearance, what you’re eating and how you’re behaving. If he sees you outshining in a social gathering, his insecurities will act up.
He will try to reassert his dominance by making a comment that he knows will shut you up or insult you.
If you’ve said yes to three or more of these signs, one thing is for sure- your husband is dominant.
Understanding The Dominant Male Psyche
Sociology says that examples of the dominant man are littered through cultures and span across history. From the mighty Zeus to Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love, we know and love some incredible alpha males.
Let’s look at some common alpha-male traits and why they exist.
He Prioritizes His Self-Interests
This is a man who’s learned from life that it doesn’t wait for anybody. Alpha males believe that life cannot be lived on the sidelines and needs to be enjoyed by playing the field.
The dominant man likes to keep himself as his priority. This keeps him focused, level-headed, and ambitious, not to mention successful.
Likes To Take Control
Dominant men like to be dominant. You could say it is a part of their DNA. Because they’ve always relied on themselves for everything, they want to take charge. This means that it’s either their way or the highway.
He Is Confident
Because the alpha male has learned all of his life lessons from experience, he is a self-assured human being. This dominant man does not need compliments. He knows what he does is right.
This confidence leverages him the strength to explore life. He likes to take charge and take life by its horns.
If life gives him lemons, he already has a lemonade stand ready.
He Is Responsible
Of course, traits like confidence and self-assurance are nothing if they aren’t paired with responsibility. The alpha male likes to take charge but also follow through.
If you’ve given a task to a dominant man, consider it done, and consider it done well. This responsibility and self-assurance also make him the most reliable person for the job.
He Isn’t Impressed Easily
This should not come as a surprise to anyone. A dominant man who has achieved everything by himself and worked his way to the top knows he’s the best. Because he’s worked so hard all his life, he isn’t impressed by people who give their second-best.
Only the best for Mr. Best. Simply put, an alpha male doesn’t settle for second-best. He wants the best job, the best house, the best car, and the best spouse.
Now we know what an alpha male looks like and why he is the way he is. Let’s move on to the real question: how do we deal with a dominant man when he reprises our spouse’s role?
10 Ways to Deal With A Dominant Husband
If you’re reached here, you have established that your spouse is a dominant one.
However, we’re sure that even your dominant husband will have some outstanding redeeming qualities. Maybe he’s a great cook. Perhaps he never forgets a birthday. Maybe he always pays the bills on time, and you never have to worry about stocking the fridge.
Whatever the case, one thing is for sure. That man has your entire heart- always have, always will. Turning the tides of a dominant husband’s heart towards you might be hard, but it’s not impossible.
Only an alpha woman can win the heart of an alpha male.
1. Acknowledge His Personality
The first step you need to do to understand your man is to understand who he is. Your spouse is an alpha male, a dominant man who likes his word to be the first and the last.
He is a decision-maker. This man likes to choose the product that comes in the house, the handymen that makes repairs, and which channels to subscribe to. While he might not be the best at choosing a floral settee for the lounge, he knows what’s best for his kids and you.
2. See Him For Who He is
See him for the man he is. If you see him as just a character trait, it would not be easy to get anything done!
Your husband is not just an adjective. He is a human being who adores you, nay, worships you. Acknowledge that you married him for the total of all his beautiful features and flaws too.
3. Look Beautiful For Him
Most women are beautiful in a natural way. However, men have different tastes and what they like in a woman. Your partner loves you, that’s why he married you. But, you need to be the apple of his eye.
Nobody expects you to have your hair blown out or wearing gold eyeshadow all the time. But you need to look presentable. Comb and shower your hair and exercise to keep yourself healthy. Wear flattering colors.
4. Notice When He Shows His Love
Your alpha male might not show his love like regular men. He won’t sweep you off your feet and take you for a romantic trip to Paris. He just isn’t built like that.
However, know that he thinks about you all the time. If he asks you to go shopping with him, tag along. If he takes you to a restaurant, know that it’s his way of making you his own.
5. Possessiveness Is Not Cause For Alarm
Not every dominant man is a cause for worry. His possessiveness means that he cares. He sees you, loves you, and wants you to be just his. His questions and concerns mean that he wants to be the guy who is the focus of your attention.
If there is anyone who deserves your attention, it’s your husband.
6. Strike A Compromise
An alpha man is a lone wolf. He likes to travel alone and likes to spend his time doing what he likes. He doesn’t like clingy people. So, no matter how fond you are of him, he needs his alone time.
So when he seeks you out, be within reach. When he calls you to hang out, go to him. Find fun things to do together that you both enjoy. This will stimulate both of you to spend more time together. It will also strengthen your bond.
7. Let Him Feel He Is Leading
An alpha male will feel his happiest with you when he knows he’s in command. It’s in your relationship’s best interest to make him always feel like he is leading. You can do this by letting him choose the menu for the day or the outfit you wear the next morning.
If you need him to say yes to a decision you made, make him think it was his own. This means that if you’re craving Chinese and he decides on pizza, remind him of that one time he was craving Chinese. Talk about delicious Chow Mein till he says, “Hey, I’m craving Kung Pao chicken. Let’s order Chinese!”
8. Make Him Work For You
Good things come to those who wait. Your husband should not be an exception.
Let’s be honest: you’re a steal! He should see that. Dominating husbands are often so caught up in being the best that they sometimes neglect their wives.
Keeping him on the hook and teasing him will make him want you more.
A man who knows his worth wants a woman who knows her own.
9. Impress Him
Just because he’s an alpha male does not mean you can’t be an alpha female. You can be equally dominating in facets of your life that don’t involve him.
For example, show how him your awards, accolades, and promotions. Let him know that you’re not the woman behind the successful man. You’re walking alongside him, equally successful.
10. Do Your Own Thing
In magnets, opposites attract. For humans, the opposite holds true. Human beings love traits they can relate to. How many times have you seen a celebrity tweet something relatable and found comfort in it?
A dominating man is a confident personified. He doesn’t like helplessness or incompetence. To attract an alpha male, all you need to do is be your most confident self.
If an alpha male decides to marry you, know that you’re the one. Yet, their constant insistence to centralize each decision of your married life can be exhausting. Some of their habits can get straight-up exhausting.
However, with these small changes in your life, you can tame even the wildest wolf of the civilized world.