The one you thought was your soul mate, who you thought you were perfect with, who you saw a future with, and the one who did and said all the right things is now your ex. You can’t help but miss him so much that it actually hurts.
Whatever the reason for the breakup, missing him is a natural stage of mourning the loss of the relationship. It’s normal to miss someone you were close with, but it’s also vital to figure out what you can do to move on and make yourself feel better again.
At the end of the day, remember that not all is lost! There are plenty of things you can do which will make you feel good again and get ready to date again.
Here are 10 things you can do when you miss your ex-boyfriend.
1. Throw yourself a closure party.
Sharing your pain and sadness with your best friends is a great way to help you get over him. They’re there to support you!
Invite your close girlfriends over with the aim to:
- Recap the good and the bad of the relationship, which will give you the closure that you need and remind you that the relationship wasn’t that perfect.
- Gather all mementos and keepsakes in your place that remind you of him and chuck them. Delete his number so you don’t feel tempted to text him, especially the next time you’re a little drunk. Don’t keep pictures of him on your phone – you need a fresh start!
- Drink some wine, watch a comedy, and maybe join a dating site if you’re ready to do so! Sometimes you can meet someone perfect when you least expect it.
You need to say goodbye to the old and embrace the new. If you so this officially, it’ll be really good for your recovery.
2. Try something new.
This can literally be anything you choose – like a hobby, new clothes, or a new haircut! One of the best things you can do when you miss your ex is to simply shift your attention to something new that makes you feel better about yourself and will keep you busy.
A new hobby will give you the opportunity to use your creative energy or meet new people. New clothes will give you the confidence you seek. A new haircut or hair color will make you want to go out again and re-join the dating scene.
Whatever you pick, do it for yourself so that you’re busy with something that feels good, and you don’t waste time thinking about the past. Challenge yourself!
3. Write him a letter you don’t intend to send.
By writing your ex a “burn letter”, you’re officially closing that chapter of your life and saying everything you didn’t get a chance to say face to face and everything you simply need to get off your chest.
The best thing about it, is that you’re not going to actually send it. Write is as if he’s going to read it, but mainly write it for yourself. Putting pen to paper will feel extremely therapeutic; you’d be surprised at how relieved you feel after it.
If it’s that important for you that he reads it, then go ahead and ship it. It might feel weird to bare your soul to him, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do. Tell him you don’t expect an answer and this letter is not about him, it’s about you and your recovery.
Don’t anticipate that he will reply or even read it. And that’s okay!
4. Give someone new a chance.
Rebound relationships are often a bad idea, especially when you know you’re wasting someone’s time, using them to make yourself feel better, or worse – to make your ex-boyfriend jealous.
However, getting out there and allowing yourself to meet someone new can really do wonders for your self-esteem, especially on the days when you just feel like curling up under a blanket or texting your ex.
Give someone new a chance. So what if he doesn’t seem like someone you’d like to date for a long time – you can still have some fun! Simply socializing with another guy can take your mind off your ex.
If you’re stuck thinking that you won’t meet anyone better than your ex, you really need to snap out of it. Is it him you are really missing or is it more about you? Often a break-up reveals more about who we are and what kind of stage in life we’re in than about the relationship that ended.
5. No more negative talk.
When you miss your ex-boyfriend, you will be feeling a sense of helplessness that can easily lead to anxiety, depression and self-pity. It’s not a pretty state to be in!
Don’t get sucked into the whirlpool of sad, negative thoughts. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but you know you’re the master of your own emotions. Your recovery starts and ends with you!
6. Convince yourself that life’s better this way.
For one reason or another, your relationship has ended and your ex is in the past. If he was meant to be a part of your life, then he would be. Have a little bit of trust in fate, and remember that all things happen for a reason.
Your life is better without him in it. You might not realize it now, but you will! Ending something gives you a fresh start and an opportunity for something or someone better to come along.
Sometimes allowing yourself to remember the bad in the relationship can be a great step in the healing process as well. It doesn’t mean dwelling on the negative but simply acknowledging that it wasn’t all perfect.
You need to work on convincing yourself that you don’t need him and that you’re better off without him. Learn from the relationship and move on. When you have the right frame of mind, you’re allowing yourself to find happiness – not just with someone new, but on your own.
7. Spend time with your friends.
Friendships can cure all heartbreak. Your friends want you to be happy, and you just need to let them help you. Make time to spend quality time with your friends, especially if you had neglected them in favor of the relationship.
They’d be glad to have you back! Avoid talking about your ex-boyfriend. Focus on asking questions, and become a really good listener.
8. Go traveling.
One of the best ways to cure a broken heart is to change your surroundings. A brand-new adventure can do wonders for your mind.
It’s not a magic wand, but it’s always a good idea! Spending time in a new place with new people and different energy is extremely therapeutic. Who knows who you might meet along the way!
9. Keep your distance.
At the end of the day, the best way to get over someone is to remove any and all memory of their existence and reduce the chances of bumping into them.
Of course, every situation is unique but here are a few quick solutions:
- If he goes to the same gym or sports club as you, it might be time for you to change gyms. Being away from him is a big part of focusing on your recovery.
- If you have a bunch of mutual friends, simply ask them to be considerate and avoid mentioning him in front of you. If all they do is remind you of him, then it might be time to cut ties.
- Avoid going to places where you could bump into him, like that café you know he loves, or the park he always goes running in.
- If you work in the same place, change departments or make a conscious effort to avoid him. You can remain professional and not get reminded of the breakup every single day.
- Don’t stalk him on social media. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing or who he’s with now, you need to unfollow him and unfriend him. Let him move on with his life, and do the same with yours.
10. Get back together.
It might sound counterproductive, but it’s definitely a cure for missing him! It might not be the end of the relationship. A lot of couples get back together, but if you do, it needs to be for the right reasons.
It shouldn’t be to prove to yourself that you can get him back, or to plan some revenge on him, but rather because you truly love him, and you’ve grown stronger.
The Bottom Line
If you managed to follow all the above steps, then chances are you’re already in much better place, psychologically and emotionally. You’ve done your soul searching, your recovery and grown stronger as a result of it. That’s a really healthy place to be in and you should be proud of yourself!
You’ve probably realized that you really don’t miss him anymore, you are ready to meet someone new, and you love your life without him in it. Or maybe you’ve come to terms with the fact that he is indeed the one for you, and you want to fight to get him back.
That’s entirely possible! It’s also entirely possible that he’s started missing you too, and seeing how well you’ve been doing without him has reminded him of the things he loved about you. If you really do believe he’s the right guy for you, then go for it – fight for the love you deserve!
There are many things you can do when you miss your ex. Most of them start and end with the realization that it’s normal to mourn the relationship, but there needs to be a balance and an end point.