Single life. It can be so great. Dates, one-night stands, fun, and doing whatever you feel like on the weekends. But when does single life stop being fun, and become bitter realization that you may have made some bad choices along the way?
When does the joy of independence wear off and quickly turn into the panic of never finding anyone?
If you have started feeling like the last single woman on earth, surrounded by happy couples, engagements, weddings, babies…then you may be headed to a lonely future.
Here are some of the warning signs you are destined to be forever alone, and what you can do to prevent it.
1. Your Friday night is always the same
Netflix, pajamas, pizza, late-night binge-watching, texting, bed…does this describe your regular Friday night routine, perhaps for the past few years? Do you find yourself in a never-ending circle of Fridays with no plans, nowhere to be, and no one to hang out with?
The older you get, the more you will find yourself surrounded by friends who have settled down, gotten married, had kids and suddenly you have very few people to hang out with! It’s a scary place to be in! especially if you aren’t upping your dating game either!
Life might not be all about getting married or having kids, but, dying alone, surrounded by cats and empty pizza boxes isn’t that much fun either!
Enjoy your Friday nights, make time for self-care, Netflix, and just chilling on your own…but don’t forget to make a little effort once in a while, to just get out there and socialize. Because the less you do it, the more you will feel isolated, and less willing to. You’ve got to kiss some frogs before you find your prince!
2. You can’t help but drunk text
Now no one is safe from drunk texting in this day and age, but if you tend to do it a lot then that’s a bad sign! Especially if you are drunk texting your ex it must be because you are stuck in the past!
Drunk texting is never a good idea – what might seem like a fun idea at night will become a sobering embarrassment the following morning. Especially if you don’t get a text back!
And even if you did, trust that the guy texting you back is not that serious about you, if he were, you wouldn’t be single!
Next time you feel the urge to revisit the past, or text someone you’ve just met on Tinder after a few drinks, do yourself a big favor and just sleep it off!
If you don’t want to die alone you need to be making smart choices, not questionable ones!
3. You are obsessed with your ex
Or the guy that got away five summers ago, or your teenage crush, or the guy who ghosted you after just two dates. If you keep finding yourself drawn to stalking the men from your past, then you really need to re-evaluate!
It’s not attractive to linger on the past and certainly not healthy.
Here’s why this is always a bad idea:
- Getting focused on the past doesn’t help you move on and focus on how to improve your future.
- Stalking the ghosts from the past will just blind you for the present and the men around you who actually are worth your time.
- You will be getting sad, jealous, and frustrated and keep asking “why didn’t he choose me?”, “what’s wrong with me?” and other humiliating thoughts that will just depress you.
- You are bound to find information that you wish you didn’t know – what for? Wave the past goodbye and don’t look back in anger.
- You’d be comparing yourself to all the girls he dated after you, and comparison is the death of self-worth.
- You’d be going down the rabbit hole stalking ALL the girls he dated, and who they dated, and so on and so forth, simply wasting your time.
Why are you friends with your ex on social media in the first place? Unless he is your best friend (doubt it!) then block his profile and stop moping after him.
Cleansing your life of bad choices is step one in putting yourself first, and admitting that you may need some help in the dating and self-confidence department.
4. Dating apps never work for you
Okay, you joined Tinder and OkCupid, browsed for ten minutes, didn’t complete your profile, put a vague description of yourself, and then never opened the app again?
Sound familiar? Sorry to break it to you, but beggars can’t be choosers! Dating has long moved from merely chatting up a cute guy in a bar to a full-on commitment to swiping and chatting online. It’s just the world we live in – guys want to keep their options open and browse a little, and women do the same!
If you don’t want to die alone then you’d better be on a dating app multiple times a day, chatting to multiple guys at the same time. How else are you going to meet somebody? In the library? In the park? In an alcoholics’ anonymous meetup?
Dating apps are not all bad! And there are plenty out there that are also focused on meet-ups, events, book clubs, and friendships. You can even join a business lunch app and meet the love of your life if Tinder is just a little below your level these days!
Do you know all those people who met the love of their life on Tinder and married them? They are no longer the exception to the rule – they are starting to become the majority!
Like it or not – hop on the bandwagon and put in some effort!
5. You’re too much of a homebody
Back to taking a good look at your habits and how you spend your days…if you are mostly a homebody, hanging out with your family and cats then don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and realize that you’ve missed all your opportunities to settle down.
Family will always be there for you, but your youth won’t come back, and the guys that get away – either. Make sure your priorities are correct! You aren’t getting any younger!
6. You don’t dare ask someone out
You’ve got your eyes on a cute guy, but you keep talking yourself out of making the first step? In the 21st century, there’s no space for waiting around for the knight in shining armor to come round and sweep you off your feet! In fact, that was always some fairy tale idea they filled your head with when you were a child!
You need to break the habit of waiting around and just have the courage to show a guy you are interested! What’s the worst that could happen? He turns you down? Well, if you don’t ask, the answer is already NO!
7. You are too picky
If every time a guy is interested in you, you weigh the pros and cons and conclude that he isn’t all that, perhaps the problem isn’t in him…
Now, no one is suggesting you should lower your standards entirely, but if you don’t want to die alone, then make an exception for that “too short guy”, or the one who’s “recently divorced”.
What have you got to lose? Swallow your ego and throw the pros and cons lists away – that’s not the way to choose the love of your life.
8. You believe in The One
If you are a firm romantic, stuck on the idea that there is only one perfect guy out there for you, then be prepared for the brutal disappointment of being forever alone! No kidding!
There are many people out there who could be good for you, but if you are not ready to look beyond your illusion of the one, then you won’t be giving them a chance.
Do you know how many stars need to align for you to meet your perfect man? It’s not healthy to get stuck on the idea that one day, somewhere, he will appear…and what? He will be all you ever dreamt of, and he will be single and available, and heterosexual…sure!
9. The last 5 people you dated are all married now
Perhaps each of them told you they weren’t looking for a serious relationship, they weren’t thinking about marriage any time soon, and some other excuses men make up when they are undecided on you…
But trust me, if all of your exs are now happily married and settled down, then it’s not them, it’s you!
Don’t waste your time on the guy who sees you as practice until he finds someone he actually wants to settle down with.
10. You keep saying you will die alone
Perhaps the most telling sign you are destined to die alone is you believing that’s your future! If deep down you have convinced yourself, then you can be certain the stars will align that way! The power of thought is immense!
No one likes a bitter, sad woman who keeps reminding anyone who would listen that she is destined to be forever alone. It’s such an off-putting character trait – both to men and your friends!
How do you expect your girlfriends to want to introduce you to a single friend if you keep talking like that? It’s not all doom and gloom, you just need to keep your chin up and stop belittling yourself. That’s your entire personal brand we are talking about!
Do you want your friends to describe you as “my single friend X who’s such a catch”, or like “my single friend X who’s always sad and depressed”? Take your pick!
So, what can you do to overcome the nagging feeling that you are destined to die alone? Here’s what to do next time you feel down and alone:
- Your relationship status doesn’t define you! You can be perfectly happy even if you never marry! But you have to choose to be happy and content, not miserable and bitter!
- Get a pet! Seriously, it will bring so much joy into your life and you won’t be too fixated on being sad, because you will need to look after them.
- Realise that a lot of the “happy couples” around you are deeply miserable, you just won’t be able to tell in between their pretence Instagram and Facebook posts.
- If you believe you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent, worthy of love woman, then you are a catch, and no one can take that away from you!
- Everyone has a different path in life and reaches their milestones at the age they are supposed to. Just because you haven’t settled down by a certain age, doesn’t mean that it won’t happen.
- You can learn from all your disappointments and dating failures, all you have to do is some soul searching.
- The right person is probably closer to you then you think, perhaps you are just not looking very carefully. Often, we take for granted people closer to you, or just friend-zone them because we believe the one will appear in among fireworks and glitter. That’s not how life works!
- Being single is not a death sentence, make the most of it. But don’t get lost in it either!
- Before you expect love from someone else, you need to first remember to love yourself.